Multifandom Imagines (and a Headcanon set here and there)

One More Light - Mike Banning Self-Comfort Fic

(A/N:  This is very personal...  I still used (y/n) though, because I don't want to use my name.  Tw mentions of cutting/self-harm.  Don't worry, I've never actually cut irl...I might though...I hope not...)

It was probably three in the morning, but I could not sleep.  I was sitting on the side of my bed with my feet on the floor.  I was looking off into the darkness, tears streaming down my face.  I had been trying to sleep when the intrusive thoughts came.  Just then, I heard a knock at my window.  My head whipped round to look at it.  There I saw the grinning face of my best friend and greatest emotional support, Mike Banning.  I was also in love with him, but I was too afraid to tell him so.  He was wearing dark clothes for breaking into places.

I scrambled over to the window and opened it, reaching a hand out to help him inside.  I saw that he had a haversack.  "Mike, why did you climb up to my window?!" I asked as he climbed inside.

"Because I wanted to."  He was still grinning.  He was safe with both his feet on my floor now.

His playfulness made me smile a little too.  "Alright...why are you here?"

His smile dropped at last.  "I couldn't sleep and...I felt like you couldn't either."  I sighed and looked down at the floor.  Before I could do anything else, I felt his hand on my cheek, and his thumb brushed away my tear as he gently raised my head to look at him.  "You're crying..." he noted, his voice sorrowful and a sad frown on his face.  I sniffled and nodded, looking away and trying to get my face away from his hand.  But instead he brought his other hand up to hold my head in place to face him.  "You don't have to do that...I came here for this.  To help you," he told me softly, his eyes caring and concerned.  I could only look back at him in pain.

Should've stayed; were there signs I ignored?
Can I help you not to hurt anymore?
We saw brilliance when the world was asleep
There are things that we can have but can't keep
If they say

"What's the matter?" he questioned gently.  I just shook my head and wiped my arm across my eyes, forcefully yanking my head out of his hands.  But he dropped his bag and hugged me, encasing my whole body now.  "No.  You need someone to help you.  Even if you believe you have to push people away because they won't understand and will even hurt you." I just whimpered softly and painfully in response, finally hugging him back needily, burying my face in his chest and crying into it; his embrace coaxed me to let out the emotions I had been holding back.  He just held me tightly, letting me cry, resting his cheek on top of my head.  My tears soaked his shirt, but like all the other times he comforted me, he did not mind.

Who cares if one more light goes out in the sky of a million stars?
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out if a moment is all we are
Or quicker, quicker?
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do

"Were you overthinking again?" he asked gently.  His soft, husky voice calmed me down a little bit.  I did not answer him, for he knew me too well.  And he knew that my silence was affirmation, so he just slowly rubbed a hand up and down my back.  "It's okay...I'm here now," he promised.  He kissed the top of my head.  I sniffled, then nuzzled his chest to signify my gratitude.  He just held me to him, for as long as I needed.  For as long as I needed him to squeeze the pain I felt out of me.  And he stayed, remaining accommodating and loving in general.  Just as always.  Mike was the only reason I was still alive; he was my one source of light and will to live.

Speaking of which...he remembered something.  He seamlessly removed his right arm from around me to take hold of my left wrist.

The reminders pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need
Oh and you're angry, and you should be; it's not fair
Just cause you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there
If they say

I was comfortable with the movement, and I knew what he was going to find - and I let him.  He brought my forearm up and looked at it; there were two long fresh cuts.  The bleeding had stopped long ago, and I had disinfected them.  The fact that my sleeve was clean told him that I had changed my shirt.  "Oh (y/n)..." he said gently.  He placed a kiss on each one.  I just stood there numbly, trying to register that he was comforting me, and the fact that I was loved.  "Would you rather I keep holding you like this, or kiss along your scars?  I'll have to move away from you if I do," he enquired, still keeping his voice soft and caring.  Still numb and heady, I gently pushed off from him.  He stretched my arm a bit more, then slowly kissed along every inch of the scar that was higher up, keeping an arm loosely around my waist.  I stood still, taking in all his affection and love.

Who cares if one more light goes out in the sky of a million stars?
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out if a moment is all we are
Or quicker, quicker?
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well, I do

He moved on to my second scar, raising my arm a little more to do so.  When he was done, he guided me to lie down on the bed. He quickly changed into pyjamas and joined me.

He lay on his back, with me directly on top of him, face in his chest.  I shifted and slid my legs in between his.  My hands were on either side of my face on his chest. As for him, he had one arm wrapped firmly around my waist, while his other hand continued to stroke my back, in the exact same way as before. "You're okay..." he whispered reassuringly. I nodded against his chest.

"Mike..." I murmured without looking at him. His hand stilling indicated that I had his attention. "Thank you..."

He was silent for a few moments, then responded, "You're welcome..."

Who cares if one more light goes out in the sky of a million stars?
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out if a moment is all we are
Or quicker, quicker?
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well, I do

He stroked me until I fell asleep, then followed soon after.

Well, I do