𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐍

COMMIT

serenity "renny" rivera

july 18, 2017

i shook my head as jahseh pulled me into his lap, lining my neck with kisses and holding me close. "can you stop?"

"renny, stop being mad at me." he sighed gently, making me narrow my eyes at him.

"that's not how it works, you don't get to just tell me to stop being mad when you're in the wrong."

he sighed defeatedly, most likely because he knew i was right, and he gently moved some of my freshly washed and done hair out of my face, looking me in the eyes.

there was silence between us for a second as we stared in each other's eyes, and my heart began to race a bit, so i looked away from him and attempted to pull off of his lap, but he held me still. "tell me what i have to do to get you to forgive me."

"you never even apologized, but i guess that doesn't matter because an apology wouldn't change anything or make it better." i spoke quietly, looking down at my hands, that were fidgeting around with each other.

he kept quiet, instead pulling my hands into his to stop the fidgeting, and looking at our hands together, that i stared at too, and i spoke again. "i never once bothered you about an 'us' or anything,"

i pulled our hands apart to air quote, and kept them away from his as i went on. "you came and disrupted my peace just to play with me and hurt me too."

he stiffened a bit, and exhaled gently, before he pulled his arms around my waist and gently laid his head on the side of my chest, speaking with his raspy voice. "serenity, i never meant to hurt you. that's the last thing i'd ever want to do, i swear. i'm sorry, and i mean that."

"so why can't you commit to me?" i countered softly, placing an arm around his neck to bring us closer together and running fingers through his dreaded hair.

there was silence between us, which i took as an answer of its own, and i let out a quiet breath before i glanced down at him, to which he immediately looked up at me and locked eyes with me.

his eyes were sad, like there was a million sad stories trapped behind them and as if he wanted to say something but was too sad to say it, or maybe didn't want to, and after a few moments he broke the eye contact and glanced off across the room.

"i'm scared." he suddenly spoke, his voice shaky and quiet, making my heart drop a little.

i paused, trying to find the right words. "but why? what're you so afraid of? is it love or wasting your time?"

he stiffened a bit, before he spoke. "both, i guess."

there was more silence between us as he played with the hem of my shorts, tracing the stitching on them and keeping his lips firmly pressed together.

i didn't know what to say.

after a few more moments of silence, he spoke up again, his voice soft and gentle. "none of that even matters though, are we good now?"

he turned his head to look at me and locked eyes with mine, his pleading and searching for a response, like he was really hoping i'd say yes, but scared i wouldn't, and i broke the eye contact and looked down at his hand on my shorts.

i pulled his hand into mine and intertwined our fingers, then replied. "yeah,"

a smile crept onto his face just as i continued. "on one condition."

he glanced at me, raising an eyebrow, to which i held onto his hand a bit tighter and narrowed my eyes at him. "cut them off, all of them."

"say no more." he replied quickly, shrugging his shoulders and pulling his phone out, surprising me a bit, and i glanced at the screen of his phone, seeing him on the messages app and typing a message to someone.

i nodded and got up off of his lap, walking out of the living room and into the kitchen where almost everyone else was, being loud and enjoying their lunch meals.

as i entered, the attention shifted to me, and everyone said their share of hellos, except for ski, who jumped onto me and wrapped his arms around me tightly as if he hadn't seen me in years.

"hey renny!"

i narrowed my eyes at him, with a playful smirk on my face. "why're you so happy to see me? what'd you do?"

he started to laugh uncontrollably, making me glare at him sternly, though he didn't let up and continued to laugh, before he cupped his hands around his mouth and brought his face to my ear, starting to whisper. "i ate your food."

as soon as he said that, he immediately took off running, and i groaned and chased after him, everyone in the kitchen laughing behind us as i sprinted after him throughout the house.

for someone who eats as much as he does, he's a fast runner, and i was struggling to keep up with him, but he started to slow down and then stopped, throwing his hands up in surrender. "ok, ok, wait."

he was heavily breathing, way more than be should've, which made me burst out in laughter, and then him, and he collapsed onto the ground and laid flat, still breathing heavily. "i'll buy you food right no- wait, give me a couple hours to catch my breath."

"hours?" i asked, raising my eyebrows at him as i also caught my breath, and he sat up a bit and looked me in the eyes before he replied.

"i haven't ran since i tried to run from the cops when i was like 16."

i screamed in laughter, staring at him in disbelief. "you haven't ran in five years?"

"keep laughing and you not getting no food." he panted, pulling himself off the floor and groaning from exhaustion.

i snorted a bit and looked away, trying my best to hide my laugh, as jahseh came into the room and looked at us intently for a moment, and then spoke slowly.

"where's my food?"

i glanced at ski, who's face dropped for a second, and then cleared his throat a bit. "i ate that too."

within a second, ski was running again, this time being chased by jahseh, and i burst out in laughter at the sight of it, almost feeling bad for ski for all the running he had to do, but shrugging it off and walking back to the kitchen, swinging the fridge open.

i pulled out a container of sushi, eyeing the contents inside before i spoke. "who's is this?"

"ski's." everyone replied in unison, and i laughed a bit before i nodded and opened it up.

"shouldn't have ate my food."

~
my chapters are always so serious so i decided to loosen up a bit