𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐍

TALENTED

serenity "renny" rivera

may 7, 2017

"what're you making?"

the raspy voice made me jump a bit, as i looked up and was faced with jahseh, and i immediately calmed down and looked back down at the sketch on the large canvas in front of me, that i'd already started to paint.

i shrugged my shoulders boredly as i returned to painting and spoke at the same time. "my grandma's house, and around it."

he hummed in response and didn't say anything else, taking a seat near me and just watching me, to which i disregarded his presence and continued to paint in the clouds in the sky quietly.

i noticed every time i'd move on to something else in my painting, first from the clouds to the blue sky, then from the sky to the small lake behind the house, then from the lake to the rocky and sandy ground around the house, jahseh would glance up at me and look at my face intently for a few moments.

i bit my lip as i finished up all of the background and only had the house itself and my grandma sitting on the porch to paint in, and then gave a breath of a laugh and put the paintbrush down. "why're you looking at me like that?"

i could feel his eyes on me every time without even looking at him, though this time i turned and faced him, looking into his chocolate orbs of eyes, as his mouth curved into a gentle smile.

"you're very talented." he said quietly, making my face heat up.

"so are you." i replied gently, pushing the painting away from me and wiping the paint on my hands onto my shirt carelessly.

he hummed in thanks, and then watched as i got up, physically and mentally exhausted from all the work i'd done on that painting today.

"you're taking a break?" he asked, picking himself up off of the floor and standing beside me, looking down at the painting on the floor.

looking at it all at once, it was beautiful to say the least, and i knew once i finished it it'd be one of my best, but when i would finish it was quite a question, because all the artistic energy i used today would likely take days or weeks to restore enough for me to finish this.

i shrugged, attempting to push hair out of my face with the only part my arm that didn't have some wet paint on it, as i answered. "i'm done for the day, and until i can find the motivation and energy to finish it."

he chuckled at my struggle and pulled the hair out of my face for me, then collected all of my hair in his hands and pulled it up, grabbing the hair tie on my wrist and pulling it into a ponytail for me. "i get it."

"thank you." i mumbled, in response to him putting my hair up for me, and then picked up my canvas and moved it across the room, where it couldn't be seen, touched or accidentally stepped on and ruined.

i picked up my pallet and brushes and took them to the bathroom to be cleaned, while jahseh followed close behind, like he was amazed by me and he didn't want to even blink and miss a moment of the action.

"why're you following me?" i asked dryly as i rinsed the paint off of my brushes and pallet, and he shrugged and continued to watch before he answered.

"i like being around you."

i glanced over at him, but didn't say anything, and resumed cleaning up my tools and then rinsing all the paint off of my hands and arms, and walking back out of the bathroom, where he once again followed close behind.

i sat on my bed, then laid down on my back and let out a loud sigh, letting the soft mattress comfort my tired body and shutting my eyes, while i felt the mattress gently sink beside me as jahseh sat next to me in silence.

"are you staring at me?" i spoke up after a moment, keeping my eyes shut, to which he chuckled and spoke up.

"maybe."

i opened my eyes, seeing that he was, indeed, staring at me, and rolled my eyes, sitting up a bit and pushing him. "get out, i'm tired."

"so go to sleep, the fuck do i have to leave for?" he replied blankly, narrowing his eyes.

"because i don't want you in here?" i said smartly, blinking slowly at him. "you've been with me
for the last like two hours, leave."

he sighed, and stared at me with an expression on his face that i couldn't quite decipher, before he spoke. "why do you do this?"

i hummed in response, a slightly confused one that meant for him to explain, which he did. "you let me in and then push me away, like first we took a shower together and-"

i cut him off before he could finish. "no we didn't. you walked in and got in the shower while i was in there, uninvited."

he rolled his eyes, and went on. "yeah, then after that you ignored me for like three days straight, wouldn't even look at me. then, the other day you were all cuddled up with me and you did it again, completely acted like i was nothing to you."

"because you are." i said flatly.

"i'm nothing to you?" he repeated quietly, and i shrugged my shoulders and looked away.

he definitely was not nothing to me, but i didn't know what to say to him, so i rolled my body over in the bed and shut my eyes again, taking a long pause before i spoke. "what do you want me to do? i don't know what you want from me right now."

there was silence for a long time, and i opened my eyes and glanced over at him, to which he just shrugged and got up off of the bed, walking out of the room wordlessly, which made me quietly groan, realizing i'd driven him away.

i groaned, upset at myself and no one else, and the feeling of being upset made me rub my face in distress, wondering why my medicine wasn't working for the first time ever, and why i was actually feeling an emotion- one besides anger.

i rolled myself onto my stomach, exhaling harshly and putting my head down, then shutting my eyes, just trying to force myself to sleep and escape this feeling, hating every moment of it.

~
i honestly dk how to end chapters anymore sorry lol