𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐍

CHAOS

a part of this chapter is connected to
me and my own personal experiences so
enjoy ig lol

serenity "renny" rivera

may 24, 2017

"slow down.. fuck." i moaned out as robb pounded into me, while my hands were gripping the sheets and his held my hips.

in response, he only went harder, making me dig my face into the sheets and scream some loud moans into them, moaning something about how i loved him so much.

i don't.

i clenched around him, making him groan lowly, as i reached my high and began cumming all over him, while my legs shook and he slowed down to take in all of my orgasm.

just as soon as i'd gotten done, he pulled out, releasing his own juices right into my back, which made me groan at the feeling of it trickling down my arched back, and i laid flat to stop the traveling.

he pulled a tissue from the box on my nightstand and wiped my back clean, before he turned me over and laughed down at me.

"you good?"

mentally, i rolled my eyes, as i preferred it better when i couldn't see his face and have to actually look at and face him, simply because it only made me ashamed of myself rather than feel anything for him.

i was mad at myself, especially now that it was done, because he'd just caught me at the wrong time, and i wanted it, so i let him fuck, and it hadn't even been a full minute of aftermath and i already regret it.

it bothered me because when i shut my eyes, every stroke he gave while he was inside of me, i was imagining it was jahseh, and not him.

and when i came, mentally, i was doing it for jahseh, and it made me feel so wrong, but i couldn't fight it, i didn't want robb, i wanted jahseh, and i'd just made things a lot harder than they needed to be by fucking robb.

"fuck off." i said lowly, sitting up and covering my naked chest, which made him laugh and wave me off.

"you swore never wanted to fuck me and hated me so bad, just to not even be able to keep your hands off me? and cum all over this dick?"

i rolled my eyes at him, ignoring his words entirely and pulling my shirt off the floor, putting it on and trying to calm my shaky legs.

but part of me wanted him, part of me was comforted in his presence now, no matter how much i hated him. no matter how many times, in the last two weeks, we'd put our hands on each other and argued and threatened to do things we'd go to jail for, i was still kind of comfortable.

within all the anger and chaos, i found comfort, because that was what my life had always revolved around.

anger, chaos and pain.

i was comfortable and didn't want to break apart from what i was comfortable with, no matter how many times i got hurt, felt uncomfortable, or felt scared, i didn't let up. any time he touched me, kissed me, did anything, i let him.

and even when i did get to get him off of me, get him away from me, it'd just start another fight. punches thrown and angry words shouted, and him telling me i was his, and i wasn't going anywhere, and he was gonna have me, one way or another.

i felt trapped.

it didn't matter how comfortable i was, or how wicked we were, i couldn't leave if i wanted to, so i was stuck with this- with him.

i reached up and pulled him towards my face, and he leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips, his chain dangling in my face as he rose again, making me look down at it rather than his face.

i pulled myself off of the bed, collecting the rest of my clothes that were strewn around on the floor and throwing my hugely oversized hoodie on over my shirt, which went down to mid thigh, and glanced over at robb.

he was already dressed and ready to go, and i watched him with resentful eyes as he pulled his phone out of the pocket of his hoodie and tapped around on it before looked up at me, to which i instantly looked away to hide the look in my eyes.

"why you looking at me like you wanna fuck again?" he asked, and i could hear the amusement in his voice.

so stupid.

i wondered what type of home he grew up in, or what people he was surrounded with, that made him behave like this, and led him to find arousal and excitement in hatred and anger, and in deceit and manipulation.

what type of people taught him that resent meant lust, and that lust was an acceptable replacement for love?

i shook my head, not even responding to his words but instead grabbing my phone from where he'd thrown it across the room and onto the floor from our argument earlier in the day, and made my way towards the door of the room.

"i'm going to shower, will you be here when i get out or are you going 'to the studio'?" i air quoted, giving him a dull expression, to which he pulled me by the arm and looked down at me.

"why you saying it like you don't believe me?" he asked, looking down at me with his same, cold and lying eyes.

"answer my question." i replied.

i'd learned to ignore his stupid questions.

"nah, i'm gonna be 'at the studio'," he mockingly air quoted, rolling his eyes at me while i looked away and stared blankly at the wall behind him.

"but it's just one song, i'll be back in an hour or two and i'll spend the night with you."

i nodded, looking up at him and making the advance to kiss him, to which he returned the kiss before pulling away and quickly choking me, then dropping his hand and smiling at me.

"i'll be back, aight?" he said, beginning to make his way out of the room, and i nodded blankly.

"okay."

but i knew he was lying, even if i said nothing.

cause there was an entire studio inside this house.

~
y'all probably so shook w this lol my bad 😫