𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐍

FIX

serenity "renny" rivera

june 2, 2017

"make out hill? are you gonna to make out with me or something?"

he gave me a straight face, to which i returned, because my question was fully serious, and he let out a frustrated exhale before he returned his gaze to the road as he drove up the hill.

"nigga no, that's just the name." he replied, and i rolled my eyes and kept quiet as we reached the top and he put the car in park.

"this view is to die for." i said softly, watching the view of the entire city as the sun set and left the sky a pretty shade of orange and pink.

he nodded, leaning his seat back a bit and sitting back as he watched the view with me. "i know."

we were both silent, while i took in the surroundings and he seemed to take them in carefully, as if he hadn't been here for a while and he was reminiscing old memories and getting himself comfortable once more.

"when did you find this?" i asked, turning my attention to him, where he leaned on the window and stared at the sky.

"a while ago, like three years ago." he answered, making me hum in response and continue to watch him, before pulling his hand into mine and observing it carefully.

"rare." i read out loud, and he watched me in silence before lifting his other arm, and i read the tattoo in the exact same spot on his opposite hand that said 'very'.

"very rare?" i questioned, and he nodded his head and spoke, his voice raspy and deep.

"it was a group me and ski started, it's where the whole 'vro' thing comes from."

i nodded my head, though i kept his opposite hand in mine and began surveying all the other tattoos on it, that read 'kill me' 'dead' 'run' 'x' and ':('.

"you gonna ask me what all my tattoos mean?" he asked, in a nonchalant tone that told me it was a common occurrence for people to ask about them, though i shook my head casually.

"no, they're self explanatory," i said, letting go of his hand and tracing the 'alone' tattoo above his eyebrow.

"i'll ask if you still feel the way you felt when you got them, though."

he paused for a moment, and then nodded his head, looking away from me and speaking almost in a whisper. "more or less."

i bit my tongue, debating if i should press further or leave him be, before i nodded my head and gently traced the '17' on the side of his head. "i'll let you open up on your own time."

i returned my gaze to the sky, which was losing its orange hue and going blue with the nightfall, though i could feel his eyes staring at me, while he remained silent and i did the same.

"is isaiah mad?" he finally spoke, a complete turn around of subject, and i sighed before nodding my head and sitting back in my seat.

"pissed, but he'll get over it. or maybe he won't, i don't know, i don't give a fuck."

he chuckled, which brought my attention to him as he spoke. "you do, i can tell when you really don't give a fuck and when you wanna convince yourself you don't."

i exhaled gently. "yeah, i do."

"you don't like him being mad at you, do you?" he asked quietly, and i shook my head softly.

"hate it. i love him too much, it makes me kinda sad." i admit, picking at my nails to distract myself.

there was silence between us, before he spoke again. "what're you gonna do about it?"

i paused before i shrugged, watching a flock of birds fly overhead. "there's nothing i can do, robb and i are definitely done now, so it is what it is."

he hummed in response, before gently tugging on one of my curls, though i didn't look over at him, while he spoke. "how many times have you said that?"

i sighed in resignation, looking over at him before shaking my head. "i'm serious. i think i'd get dragged by the hair if i ever got seen around him again, anyway."

he chuckled, intertwining his fingers with mine before he spoke. "i'd be the one to drag you."

"shut up." i said, though i gently smiled and held onto his hand, watching our hands hold each other.

we were quiet, and i kept my eyes on our hands, while i could feel his eyes on me, though i didn't look up at him and instead rubbed little circles onto the back of his hand with my thumb, before speaking.

"why're you staring at me?" i asked calmly, finally looking up at him and locking eyes with his brown orbs, which seemed to start reading me just as soon as they locked with my light hazel eyes.

he shrugged his shoulders, making me roll my eyes and smack my lips, to which he smirked before pouting his lips in a kiss and kissing the air beside me, making my face flush and causing me to turn away from him with a small smile.

i watched the city, as lights began to turn on in buildings and the sky began to darken, before shutting my eyes and leaning my head against the window, sighing heavily before i spoke.

"you know how you said you know how i felt, like with being comfortable and attached?" i asked, out of the blue, to which jahseh shifted before he spoke.

"yeah, what about it?"

"how'd you get past it?" i asked, and i twirled a curl in my finger as i spoke, feeling quite odd about my question, mainly because i wasn't one to ask for advice of any sort, whether i needed it or not.

he was quiet for a moment, though i could tell just by his energy and demeanor that he wasn't ignoring me, but rather trying to find the right words to express and explain himself, and i didn't mind it at all, instead, i pulled his hand into mine once more and resumed the action of rubbing circles onto it, just as he answered.

"i don't know if i fully did, but i found someone who kinda distracts me, in a way, and just from the first time i saw her.. i kinda felt like she'd be the one to help me forget. i haven't fully gotten there with her, but i guess you just need someone to fix you sometimes."

~
this is not true y'all pls don't believe you can fix anyone LMFAO