Natasha Romanoff X fem reader One shots

Drowning in her thoughts

This is a request by the beautiful @imdeadwhokilledme

Background: your dating Nat but your insecurities are getting the best of you. Your not pretty enough for her and you feel like a burden to her. So you take more and more time to yourself, not trying to distract Nat.

I really hope you enjoy!

Natasha's POV:

I walked into the training room and made my way next to Y/N at the punching bags. She walked away and put a shirt on then went to the treadmill. That was weird. She's not like this. I walked over to her, I could tell she cranked up her music, she didn't wanna be bothered. She turned and looked at me then stopped the treadmill and left the gym. I stood there, wondering what I've done wrong.

Your POV:

I walked into my old room. Nat and I have a room that we share now, but I'm not good enough for her. I walked up to my full body mirror and took off my shirt, I looked at my body, pointing out everything that was wrong with it. Natasha's body was beautiful, her skin was perfect. My face had freckles, and there were scars on my legs from several different circumstances. I am not pretty enough, my hearts too broken, my minds too fucked up, I'm too short, I'm not smart enough, I'm not strong enough, I'm not lovable, I'm probably too clingy, I want way too much attention. I am just not enough. And I'm in her way.

I forced myself to get into the shower. I quickly bathed and got out. I didn't want to look at myself. My mind was scattered, thoughts pulsing through my brain, like a constant drum. It's been three days since I've eaten. I curled up in a ball and slept in my bed. Missing Natasha's familiar touch and warmth. I eventually fell asleep, not because I was tired, but because I didn't want to feel.

Natasha's POV:

I sat on the couch, no Y/N. Where was she? I looked at Clint "hey Clint have you seen Y/N?" He shook his head "No Nat sorry" Wanda looked at me "oh I think she went to sleep" I shook my head "ok Wanda thanks"

I got up and went to our room. I opened the door and she wasn't in there. I came back to Wanda "Wanda she's not there" she shrugged "then I don't know Nat" I looked down and sat back down on the couch. She'd eventually come right?

She didn't come. The movie was over and I went back to our room. Still no Y/N. Where could that girl be? I walked to her old room and pushed on the handle, locked. That was never locked. I was gonna knock but then I didn't wanna wake her if she was sleeping. I headed back to our room and got myself ready for bed.

-time skip-

I woke up and got ready. Y/N was in the kitchen drinking tea, I sat next to her "good morning sleepy head" she simply nodded, I spoke again "where were you last night baby? I missed you" she looked down "I uh....was really tired so I just went to sleep" I cocked my eyebrow "in your old room?" She quickly chugged her tea and put the mug in the sink and left without answering. What the hell did I do? I got up "Y/N come over here" she ignored me and kept walking.

Your POV:

I slipped into an empty room and locked the door. I curled up and cried, clutching my stomach. I felt like I was suffocating, my mind was exploding. If she'd just leave me alone I could be ok! It would make leaving easier, I wanted to do what was best for her.

Natasha's POV:

I walked back to the breakfast table. The rest of the team was there, I looked at them "has Y/N talked to any of you this morning?" They all told me that she'd made the normal small talk. I ate then went to go find her. She wasn't fucking anywhere. I went to to get my training gear in our room, her bottle of medication caught my eyes. Come to think of it the bottle hadn't moved in a week. I opened her jar and counted the pills. The count was off by seven days. She hadn't been taking her medication.

Clint came into my room "Nat...Y/N just requested a mission from Fury" I looked up with the bottle in my hand "Clint do not allow Fury to clear her, she's not stable" he shook his head and left. I had to find her.

I walked out of my room "did anyone see where Y/N went?" Tony looked at me "oh she went to the balcony" I thanked Tony and walked down the hall to the balcony Y/N was coming my way, her face was red and her eyes were puffy "Y/N I've been looking all over for you" she looked up at me and started to turn around "Y/N come here or I'll come get you myself" she curled up right in the middle of the hall and started to cry "oh my babygirl" I ran up to her and picked her up "babygirl talk to me" she cried and I took her to our room "baby you need to talk to me" she caught her breath "I-I'm not good e-enough" I looked at her "what? Baby why are you saying this?" She sniffled "I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, or pretty enough, or strong enough. I'm annoying! I'm useless! I'm too clingy!" She screamed and cried, I held her close "let it out baby"

She continued to scream and cry, I held her. It broke my heart. Eventually she calmed down, I cupped her face "baby look at me" she looked up and I kissed her forehead "why haven't you been taking your meds?" She shrugged and I rubbed her cheek "do you need me to watch you take it like we used to?" She slowly shook her head yes and I stroked her hair "ok we'll do that baby" I wrapped my hands around her waist "have you been eating?" She shook her head no again and I frowned "baby why have you been doing this to yourself? Why have you been avoiding me?" She looked down "because your so pretty, and your skin is flawless, your strong and you have your life in check, you don't have anxiety and your skinny and amazing. I'm....not....that. I'm a distraction to you and I'm not good enough for you" her eyes were full of fear and worry and pain. I rubbed her back and held her chin so she was looking in my eyes.

"Babygirl listen to me and listen to me good. You are beautiful, and kind, and smart, and adorable. You are not too clingy, I love your skin, it's soft and your freckles are precious. You are the strongest person I know, you've been through so much shit and you are still capable of loving. Your body is beautiful, I love how short you are, how easy it is for me to carry you around. Your fun size. Your my baby, my darling, my love, my angel. Your my universe, my breath, my joy. Baby you are mine. You will always be mine. Nothing will ever change that. You wanna know what's different about the times I'm able to finish my paperwork easier?" She tilted her head "yeah" I smiled "it's because your sitting in my lap. You wanna know why I wake up happy every day?" She smiled "why?" I kissed her "because when I do wake up, I know that I get to fall in love with you all over again. It is because I know that I will be able to place my lips against yours for another day. It is because I am holding you in my arms and I have your skin touching mine. It is because your groggy voice makes my heart flutter and it's adorable. It is because I wake up knowing that your mine. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Do you understand me Y/N?" She wrapped herself around me "yes ma'am" I held her close "good girl. Now don't you ever try and leave me again. You talk to me when your mind is being attacked with these lies ok?" She shook her head and I rubbed her back in small circles "that's my girl"

I ended up getting her to eat, take her meds, giving her a bath, and now we were curled up in our bed. Her small body backed up into mine. I had my arms wrapped around her. She turned and wrapped her arms around me, I ran my hands through her hair and she lifted her face up and kissed me, I kissed back and held her close. I got my baby back and now I was never going to let her out of my sight.

Ahhhh soft Nat!!!!!! I honestly loved writing this. I'm always here for requests!

As always: I love you all 3000 and thank you