Didn't see it coming

Guilt

Soon after the ambulance, they took Jake, only me or angel could go with him.
Me and angel decided that it would be best if I went with him. They quickly put into surgery, I was in waiting room when Angel came in. "How is he, is he okay" angel asked in considered tone. I looked up at him and couldn't say anything because I didn't even know myself.

All I could think about how it's fault, and that should be me surgery or if I killed him this wouldn't have happened.I couldn't sit anymore, so I got up and started pacing back and forth. Angel tried to calm me down but it didn't work.

An hour went by and we still hadn't heard anything from the doctors. I went up to the front-desk and said
"hello, can I get an update on Jacob Garcia"
"Who are you to him" the desk lady asked
"I'm is g-" I was about to say girlfriend but then realizes they would not give me the update.
"I'm his wife" I said calmly, she looked at me

She told me that his out of surgery and in room 214. I went to go and tell Angel, we both went to his room and saw him laying on the bed asleep. I slightly smiled and sat right next to him. Angel sat in the other chair. "His going to be okay" I said in a soft voice. "Yeah, he is, his a fighter" angel said.

It's been 3 hours, the doctor said he should wake up soon, but Jake going to need some physical therapy, the more he talked, the more I felt the guilt.
He said that Jacob is going to need a cast, because when the bullet hit his chest, it hit a nerve near his shoulder. I didn't listen to rest.
2 hours after angel had to leave for work. I told him to go and I'll update him when Jake wakes up. It was now 3:00am, I haven't slept,ate. The doctors told me I should go home and his probably not going to wake up for a couple days because His body needed a lot of rest. I didn't listen and sat there. It's now has been 3 days, I haven't slept or ate, I did get some snacks from the vending machines but that's all. I was dead tired. I was a total mess, angel brought me some clothes and tried to convince me that I should go home and get some rest, that he would call me if anything happened but I still said no. I get dizzy and tired. I started getting flashbacks of me and Jake.

Flashback:
Jake had some friends over, everyone got drunk but me and Jake. I'm not much of a drinker because I've seen what it can do to people. I got bored so I grabbed a bottle of whiskey and went over to Jake "come on, let's go" I said and grabbed his. He went with me "where are we going" he asked a bit excited "to the roof" I said. We went to my room and climbed threw the window to the roof. When we got on top, he laid down and looked at the stars . He always made me giggle. When I'm with him I know I'm safe. I was laying next to him. "I love y-" he was saying but stopped "what were you saying" I asked him. "I love how innocent you are" he said. "I am not innocent" I said in pouting tone. He got on top of me, looking deep into my eyes. I saw his bright green eyes, and it gave me butterflies. "Why do you look at me like that" I asked. "Look at you how??" he asked confused. "You look at me with, faith,like you trust me with your life" I said softly but clearly. He smiled at "because I do trust you, and I promise you Davina Martinez, I will not let hurt you" he said to me.
End of flashback.

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