Irrational Anger ( MXM)

001.

Looking at the casket being lowered down was so hurtful to Ryan, a lone tear rolled down his cheek as he squeezed his son's hand tightly. This was so painfully to the both of them, the fallen man had been there for Ryan and his son when his own father failed. When his own and flesh cursed him away from his house at the age of only 15. But this man was there for him, he was his father he wished he had. It hurt so much seeing your best friend being burried and the thought of never seeing him again broke Ryan's heart in the ways he never thought it would.

The soreness in his chest was too much to describe.

It hurt so much when his family threw him out of his house but this was so wounding. He can't believe the man who had been there for him had just died, the man who treasured him, the man who treated him like his own son, the man who gave him a chance to live when Ryan gave up, was gone and whenever Ryan thinks about it it upsets Ryan to the brim.

He taught Ryan many things which Ryan's father never bothered to teach him at all, Ryan can't believe that he will never see his old man again,it was making his heart break in pieces. 'why do God always take the good people' Ryan thought, Mr Benicio was a kind hearted loving man, he didn't deserve to die. He didn't deserve to leave this soon. At least he deserved to live a little longer yet Ryan knew it was impossible.

Even though Mr Benicio was 96 years old, call Ryan crazy but he still wanted the man around, he knew that the man needed his rest, being on earth with a incurable sickness was so exhausting to the man, being in bed 24/7 was not the life Mr Benicio deserved. Seeing the old man in pain each and every day hurt Ryan so much yet he still wanted the man alive. Was Ryan just selfish.

Why did God bring death to us, to people. Leaving your loved ones behind and go to the place only God knows where. If it was possible to go visit those people, to Ryan, he would go visit his old man to have at least one last conversation with him "Mum we are done" Ryan snapped his head to gaze at his son who was already looking at him with sad big beautiful eyes. He can't believe he zoned out all the funeral.  His son had that expression on his face which Ryan hated so much to see. He scolded himself inwardly for making his son worry.

"Mum, let's go see if Mrs Benicio is ok, I don't want to leave her a lone in this time of grief" Troy, Ryan's son added softly forcing a smile on his lips to show his mother that he was fine even though the death of Mr Benicio hurt him dearly. Mr Benicio was a grandfather Troy could ever ask for. Ryan nodded softly as they started walking towards the big mansion hand in hand. Ryan was worried about Mrs Benicio who fainted when she found out about her husband's death. The poor woman couldn't take it and Ryan totally understands her. She had lost her soulmate, the person who had been by her side for years was gone.

Poor woman.

Seeing the people you love crying or hurting makes Ryan to hate life. Why would these good people have to go through this shit. People like his family are the ones who deserve to cry, they are the ones who have to die, but the good ones always go through these bullshit. If only Ryan could take all the pain away from his beloved and carry it for them he will gladly do it if it means to see smiles on the people he loves he would in a blink of an eye.

People started moving around the compound talking among themselves, others talking how Mr Benicio was a good man which put a small smile on Ryan's face because that was so true, most of them entering there cars to go back to there lives. It made Ryan happy that many people came to say goodbye to Mr Benicio, that shows that the man was loved by all and Ryan just hoped for him to rest in peace and indeed he will rest in peace because that man was going straight to heaven.

They reached the mansion which wasn't too far from where Mr Benicio was laid to rest as they entered. Troy let go of his mother's hand as he ran to wards the stairs so quickly wanting to go see Mrs Benicio who didn't even make it to her husband's funeral. "Troy what did I tell you" Ryan called behind with a scowl on his face making sure the guests didn't hear him. He had told his son a thousand times to never run at the stairs, he will fall and hurt himself and Ryan didn't want that for his precious son but the boy can be stubborn sometimes.