Irrational Anger ( MXM)

002.

Ryan threw a strong punch on the punching bag like a mad man, his body sweaty as he let out deep breaths and every time a punch contacted with the bag all Ryan could see is that face. The face that ruined his life, the face he will loathe all his life. The worst part was that every time he punches and see that face, he always see his son in that face. Ryan was proud of his son, he loves him to death and it's the only thing that kept him going all these years but why would God create his son and look like that bastard.

Troy had gotten all the bastard's features which annoys Ryan to no end but it's not Troy's fault to resemble such a heartless man like his father, Ryan would never forget that day. Up until now it's still printed in his mind like it happened yesterday. Ryan shook his head dismissing the thoughts of the man who ruined his life without remorse, he didn't want to think about that man ever again, Mr Benicio taught him better than that and he will always follow the old man's advice no matter what. if it wasn't for the Benicio's, Ryan wouldn't know where he would be.

He breathed out softly steadying the punching bag as he put his head against it panting So that he can calm his beating heart down. He doesn't want to dwell on the past. Like Mr Benicio used to say "if you drool over the past, when will you create great memories in future" Ryan smiled remembering the wise man's words, it's a pity he wasn't gonna hear him say those words again.

Ryan picked up a bottle of water taking a big gulp on it as he seat down to rest for a little beat. He had been working out for three hours non stop, it's not like it was new to him, his body was used to it. Ryan has to work out so much because he doesn't want to be the useless Ryan he was years back when the incident happened. He didn't want to feel helpless like he felt that day. Before Ryan was feminine, with no muscles or whatsoever but now Ryan was muscular with six pack. Ryan vowed, he will never let anyone take advantage of him ever again, he will never be vulnerable again in his life. He despises himself for being weak, he blames himself for what happened coz if he wasn't weak maybe that incident wouldn't have happened.

Maybe he would have fought till the end but he was so weak he couldn't protect himself. He was so pathetic, whenever Ryan thinks about it he feels like a loser but no more. He will never ever let something like that happen to him ever again or more so happen to his son.

That's why Ryan works out now and then coz to hell no one absolutely no one will ever treat him like that and he will never be a pathetic crying baby again.

He stood up and walked out of his basement were he staged the things he needs for work out. with a straight face Ryan walked towards his bathroom to take a long needed shower. God knows he needs it so fuckin bad.

Ryan thought Mrs Benicio will tell him to move in the mansion with her but the woman didn't want that, she knew how much Ryan wanted to be independent and she didn't want to take that away from him but Ryan would have moved back in without a blink of an eye but the poor old woman didn't want that, she even scolded him for thinking about it. She helped him and that wasn't a debt Ryan could pay, it was out of love and for Ryan and Troy to be happy, that's all. Ryan was so grateful for the old woman, he didn't know what to give her really. Now Ryan goes to the mansion now and then to visit the old woman, to help out and to make sure everything is alright with her because that's the only thing Ryan could do.

Ryan got out of the bathroom drying himself as he walked in to his closest to pick out an outfit for the day. He went with a black polo shirt and black jeans. Ryan wasn't a type to drool on what he was putting on, he just puts on what looks good in his eyes and as long as he doesn't walk naked it's all what matters. He walked out strutting towards Troy's room. A smile pulled on his lips when he opened up the door finding his son slumped on his bed deep in sleep. Ryan squatted down ruffling his son's hair softly with a smile on his lips as he placed a loving kiss on his forehead.