Irrational Anger ( MXM)

039

"Do you think it's normal to be with these feelings" Ryan asked his therapist "I mean, he is the person I had hated half of my life you know but now whenever I see him all I want is a repeat of what we did in the car" Ryan breathed out his shoulders slumped down as he sucked in a deep breath. He really wanted to talk to someone about these strong feelings he has. Ryan knows mostly it's the pull doing its job but is it only that,even if it was the pull, he can't be feeling like this about the man he had feared half of his life so he wanted to talk to someone and who better than Annette.

"What's stopping you then" Annette asked looking at Ryan softly.

"First he is married, second he is the man that....you know" Ryan breathed out.

"Have you asked him about what happened.......I mean in the car" she asked lowly

"No"

"Why?" Annette questioned

"I think out of fear, I don't know" Ryan replied bitting the insides of his mouth.

"Fear, are you telling me that you're still scared of him"Annette ached her eyebrows at Ryan

"No no I'm not scared of him, if I was I wouldn't have told him about Troy" Ryan replied quickly.

"You said out of fear,can you tell me more" Annette asked.

"I feel like if we talk about it he will tell me that he doesn't feel the same way and if he felt the same way about me then....why haven't he divorced his wife and moreso he told me that he wasn't into men. I don't know what to think really" Ryan rumbled on, Annette looked at him for good few minutes  before she spoke up.

"Tell me Ryan" she breathed out "do you see yourself with him in the future of course if he tells you that he has feelings for you. Do you see yourself with him" Annette asked.

"I don't know really" Ryan inhaled "I tried dating Blake but it didn't work out though with Blake it was just forced, I knew I never loved him or whatsoever but with Neil I feel strongly about him. I don't know, if we both feel the same and let's say try it out I don't know if it will work out or not. What if this will pass and I start seeing him as that man again, I really don't know" Ryan said sincerely a tear slide down his face. All this was confusing him.

"Do you want to try it out with him" Annette asked making Ryan to think of his answer. Does he really want to try it out with the man.

"Yes"

"Do you feel like he can hurt you again" asked Annette.

"I don't think so" Ryan replied truthfully.

"Then you have your answer" Annette smiled happy that they had reached this point. Ryan looked at her confused "if you trust him not to hurt you or your son then I don't see a problem. Go sit down with him and talk. Be open to him about your feelings. You're both grownups" Annette said.

"Ok" Ryan replied his spirit lifted up

"And if you decide to date and feel uncomfortable, Ryan be free to cut it off like you did with Blake. Don't let him pressure you in to something you don't want to do. If you feel like you don't want to do something tell him. since you trust him I know he will understand" Ryan nodded smiling at the woman who also gave Ryan a small smile "I think our session is over" she said.

"Yeah thank you really" Ryan said shaking hands with her.

"I'm always happy to help,say hi to Mrs Benicio for me. I will pass by there tomorrow to see her" Annette smiled.

"Ok nice day" Ryan kissed her cheek then stumbled out of her office with a big smile on his lips. That's why he loves talking to Annette, the woman always knows what to tell him and Ryan always appreciates it. Ryan got in to his car driving off to his house where he knows Neil was. Yes, since that encounter with Leo, Neil had not left Ryan's house it's like he practically moved in. They eat breakfast and dinner together like a family and Troy is at his happiest, seeing his mum and dad at the same table the boy will die out of happiness.