Irrational Anger ( MXM)

009

"I am so sorry my boy" Mrs Benicio squeezed Ryan in to a tight hug whilst Ryan was crying a river in the old woman's chest. Ryan feels bad to be distributing this old woman but she is the only one who can make him feel better. Ryan didn't get a sip of sleep last night too scared that the devil might appear on his door step and do the things he did to him in the past. He slept in his son's room and just by seeing Troy's face made him calm down a little bit but he couldn't close his eyes at all in fear that the nightmares would be back.

And it was true, when he tried to close his eyes, he saw himself back to that horrible place he wishes to not be in.

After calling the old woman last night and told her about the devil, Mrs Benicio insisted to come right away in the morning to see how Ryan was doing, she was worried although Ryan had told her that he will go see her at the mansion but she insisted. Mrs Benicio and her husband are the only people who knew what Ryan had went through years ago and she was the only person who understood him. It was logical that the old woman wanted to come coz she knew how this hurt Ryan.

Ryan met Mrs Benicio ten years ago, after being disowned by his family. Ryan boarded a bus which brought him to Buma living his family back in Maris. His brother was generous enough to give him some money to start his life which of course wasn't enough but at least it was enough to land him in Buma where he met this generous family.  Ryan can't believe that the people who told him how much they loved him to disguard him without a second thought just because he was raped, they called him an embarrassment to their family that's why Ryan had to change his last name. Though Ryan thinks that there is more to it, Ryan was sure. He hates them all and he wishes to never see them again in his life. Ryan will never need them, he had made something for his life so he doesn't need them.

He thought the people who loves you will always be by your side in good and bad times but Ryan was wrong and naive. It didn't even take time for them to throw him on the streets. He thought his mother would pull him in to her comforting embrace and tell him that everything will be alright like she used to tell him when Ryan was sad but he was so damn wrong because her loving, Caring mother was the first person to disown him, she was the first person to throw Ryan's things at him like he wasn't her son. Ryan thought that she would be the last person on this earth to throw him out like trash and without remorse but he was so wrong. Ryan wasn't so surprised about his father because they didn't have much connection with the man but he thought the man loved him in his own way.

But again he was wrong. Ryan didn't care about the rest of the family, his family was a big family which consisted of twenty three people, Ryan didn't care about those uncles and aunts or cousins, all he cared about was his mother, father and brother but they also showed him that they didn't need him in there lives, when Ryan thinks about it his heart aches but at the same time he only feels hate for all of them. For god's sakes Ryan was just a fifteen year old boy whose life was just starting, he still needed his family to show him what's wrong and right but they chased him away like a stranger, from the house he grew up from because of a mistake he himself didn't want in the first place yet they had a nerve to blame him for being weak and his uncles, aunt's and cousins had a nerve to say that Ryan wanted it.

That hurt Ryan because he was still in pain that he was abused but no one acknowledged that. No one took pity at him only his brother Jett.

Ryan didn't know what made them to turn there backs on him that quickly but they did it in just a second. That's why Ryan doesn't believe in love anymore. Therefore Ryan decided to go far away from them and start his own life  not knowing that he was pregnant.

When he reached Buma city, Ryan didn't know any one or anything and he had to fend for himself, the money his brother gave him was finished by the time he reached Buma, it took him three weeks to arrive in Buma that's how far it was. Ryan didn't want to settle in Buma but the money was finished so he decided to stay in the city until he gets some many and continue on his journey, he wanted to go as far away as possible from his family. He slept on the streets for a month, eating rotten food which he got from the dust bin until he reached the Benicio mansion.