Innocent Rose-- Jon Bon Jovi Fanfic

Life after tour

Jon's POV

4th July 1990 / Malibu

"This is an incredible day because this is the world premier of your video..... 'Blaze of Glory'" I subconsciously nod my head in the most unenthusiastic way, I honestly don't want to be here right now, doing this shit but what other choice to I have, I have t promote the album "Yeah big day". She continues to blabber on for a while, quizzing me about my video. She's interviewing me for MTV but she also wants me to act like I'm her ex which is rather awkward considering I'm not. My eyes keep switching between her chest and her eyes because she has a red corset on for independence Day, so It's a good thing I'm wearing my sun glasses.

I've been feeling out of sorts since the end of the tour, very depressed and sick of everything. I spent the first month or two at Malibu just hiding out with Chrissie until I started on the album. I tried going to counselling but I turned up late and he told me to book another appointment, so I told him to forget it and stormed out and I had another incident when I was driving along and all I could think about was jumping out of my car and killing myself. I really want to get through this but it's been so difficult. 

The hours slowly tick by and before I know it, the interview is over which I'm so happy about. I trail myself into the living room and slump myself down after a long day of pretending to be okay. Chrissie decided to make herself scarce because she doesn't want to be involved in all the paraphernalia, such as the interviews and photographs which I can completely understand and I do my best to protect her from it. 

After a while of staring into space like an empty shell, I hoist up my guitar and start plucking out a few chords just to pass the time by until she returns. I don't have anything else on today so I'm going to spend the rest of it with Chrissie. 

. . .

I'm so engrossed with singing this song that I never noticed Chrissie standing in the doorway with such a warm smile on her face. "Oh hey... you're back" She scurries over and place the bags on the floor before sitting down next to me. Without uttering a word, she wraps her arms round my torso and pulls me in for a heartfelt embrace "What's going on? you alright?". She pulls away and looks deep into my eyes, her hand caressing soothing circles in my rosy cheek. Her bright orbs sparkle in the light that's peaking through the curtains. "I love you so much" My lips curve into a genuine smile, the first I've managed in months "I love you baby". 

"So you have a nice day?" She swiftly nods her head and grabs one of the bags off the floor, placing it on her lap "Yeah... I got something for you". "Okay... you've peaked my interest... what is it?" I inch closer to her, biting my lip with anticipation and excitement "This is the first". She pulls out a soft black material from the bag with a skull pattern all over it "What is it?". I unravel the material to reveal a button down long sleeved shirt with skulls all over it "Ahhh man.... I love it.... I'm gonna put it on right now". I jump up off the sofa and pull my vest up over my head and toss it to the side. "What's the other thing?" I quiz her while fastening up a button or two just so it stays on "Close your eyes". I close my eyes and wait patiently while she ruffles through the bag. She places something into the palm of my hands, something made of glass and is quite large "Open your eyes". My heart swells up to the size of a balloon when I see a Silver frame with a photograph of the two of us on our wedding day in Italy "Oh baby... Beautiful". I swipe my thumb across her face on the photo, tons of memories flashing through my mind "Thankyou... I really needed this". I sniffle up and pull her in for a tight warm hug, peppering kisses across her flushed cheek. 

A few hours later and we're sitting out on the doc, watching the ocean waves dance around under the blueish grey sky. She's cuddled up to me with her head resting on my chest and her legs over my lap. As I'm staring out onto the ocean, I can't help but think about the past 2 tours and how many years I've spent on the road and what it all means, what it's all come to. I haven't spoke to the guys in a while, we're all doing out own thing at the moment and there's even been loads of rumours floating round that we're breaking up, which is far from true. She suddenly lifts her head up and swipes her hand across my cheek "Jonny.... I know you don't like to.... but.... you can talk to me.... I'll listen". I bite my lip and shaky my head, having no intentions of unloading my shit onto her "No... I'm fine". "Jon.... no you're not.... please baby... just.... let it all out" I close my eyes and sigh deeply, trying to make sense of all my thoughts "We were.... on tour for 7 years... non stop and I just feel like.... what do I have to show for it... what has it gotten me? Has it made any difference? Every time I think I've reached the top of the ladder... there's another extension added on.... but this time... there's a thorn bush in the way and I'm so.... scared to fight my way past o see what's beyond... what if there's something bad on the other side? what if it's something better?". I continue to talk until there's nothing left to come out and I do feel a little better but, what happens now?. "Jon.... You've always been so determined... so optimistic.... you've known exactly what you want and you've went out and gotten it..... so now you've reached this point and you don't know what's happening next... with the band.... with yourself.... Just.... take a leap of faith.... believe in yourself.... believe that the band can overcome any obstacle..... Because I believe in you.... I believe you can do anything.... don't ever be afraid" I laugh softly and pull her close for a loving kiss, allowing myself to come undone "Thankyou..... Chrissie.... you're right". "Besides you're doing that Christmas show with them aren't you?" I breath deep and nod in response "Yeah..... Tokyo for New Year".