Innocent Rose-- Jon Bon Jovi Fanfic

Bad Shape

3rd January 1990 / London 

Chrissie's POV

"Jonny I'm really worried... you all need a break from this" He shakes his head and continues on down the hall towards the stage "Please Jonny... you can't see how much this is affecting you". "See you after the show" He doesn't even bother looking back at me before he bounds onto the stage with Richie and Alec on either side of him. They all look like ghosts of the people they were a few months ago. The guys don't really hang out anymore, they'll sleep in bed all day, do the show, drink all night then repeat it all the next day. We spent Christmas day in a hotel here in London, which I was not thrilled about at all but nothing can be done if they won't listen. 

I'm watching from the side as they blaze through the show but I can't help but feel so upset. I really am so worried and this whole situation has even started affecting Jon and me, I can tell he's sick of it but he won't talk to me about it. He glances over to me and it somehow triggers me into sobbing my heart out. I clamp my hand round my mouth and sprint off down the hall to the dressing room. We've been through so much together, I just hope we can get through this. I lock myself away in the bathroom, curling up on the toilet and balling my eyes out into my hands. 

A good 20 minutes later, I can hear the five of them bounding back into the dressing room and where there was once laughter and joking is silence, with only a few words exchanged. "Where's Chrissie?" My ears prick up when I hear Jon's exhausted, breathy voice but I can't bring myself to answer or even come out "How are we supposed to know where your wife is?". "I was only askin man... chill" He huffs out a sigh and a second later there's a knock on the door "Chrissie babe? you in there?". I sniffle up and continue to quietly sob away to myself "Babe... please open the door... let me in?". "Not even your wife wants to see this shit" Dave pipes up but earns silence in response, however, he is right "Chrissie... please". I sniffle up as I stand up from the toilet, not even bothering to wipe my tears dry. I unlock the door and curl back up on the toilet, letting him open the door himself. 

I rest my head on my knees, wrapping my arms round my legs, facing away from the door as it swings open. If he has no interest in seeing just how much this is affecting them, then how can I possibly help. A second later I feel his soft warm hand on my shoulder, caressing it tenderly "Baby.... look at me". I sniffle up and continue to face away from him, fearing if I look at him, I'll cry even more when I see the pain in his eyes, that pain that resides in all of them. "Please... I can't see you like this too" I slowly pick my heavy head up, turning to face him. His eyes are heavy and puffy, his hair is extra messy, I hate seeing him like this. 

"I'm sorry.... for dragging you into this shit... I never wanted you to get involved in this" I sniffle up and sigh when he starts caressing and stroking my damp cheek "Please Jonny... Can't we just go home?". "No... not yet... I'm sorry... but we have to finish this tour... I'm not gonna be the guy that cancels shows or... turns up late... I'll look like shit... but I'll turn up on time" I swiftly shake my head, more sobs burstin from my lips "But why isn't Doc doing anything? The record company? they should see what it's doing to all of you... I mean.... Alec collapsed on stage Jonny...you went 6 weeks with a broken leg... you don't even talk or laugh anymore... It's not healthy". "They don't care... as long as they get their money... they don't care what's done.... thought you realised that after the last tour... I was dying and they didn't care" I grab his hand and smash my face into it, desperate to feel close to him "But I care.... and I'm so scared... and I don't wanna see it". "Cmere baby.... It'll be okay" He grips my waist and pulls me onto his lap, encircling me in his warmth. "Everything will be okay.... but I need you on my side... I need you" I swiftly nod my head, sliding my hands round his neck "I'm always on your side... you and the guys.. My heart will always be yours.. always". He smiles softly and rests his forehead against mine "Always".