Dear No One || Minsung ✓

Letter 13

Minho went out of his car and walked directly to his house but of course he first checked his mailbox. He automatically smiled seeing a familiar envelope. He picked it and went inside his house.

"We got another letter from Han Jisung, girls." He happily greeted his cats but the cats ignored him.

He sighed and shook his head before walking to his room to change. He did his routine then went to bed to relax but stood up again when he remembered that he has a letter to read.

Minho stood up again to get the letter and opened it carefully with a big smile on his face. He's excited to read Jisung's letter again because it's entertaining and he's already used to it.

Dear no one,

Hey, how are you? Are you doing great? I have a news for you, I graduated today. I'm a magna cum laude, are you proud of me? Of course, as you should. But I'm not happy, I hate this day. I'm writing a letter for you because I want to feel better. There's alot of stupid things roaming inside of my head and I can't handle them all, I hate this life. Guess what, my dad ruined my night again, him and his boastful family, I'm so sick of them. They are not a bad people but they just look too highly of themselves, they brag alot about who's who. Seungmin, my cousin who they compare to me most of the time cause we're the same age is just equally as boastful as his mum and my dad and the rest of the clan haha. This bitch really pissed me off the whole night I don't fucking like him since day one and he don't like me either so I don't know why he's wasting his life following me to say stupid things like he did this and that, I fucking don't care bitch STFU! HAHAHA sorry >,<" (ew)

This will be a long ass letter I have so many things to tell you. Are you up to it? Well, I'll still do it tho you don't really have any choices.

Where do I start? There's alot I want to say. Oh! I probably should start about this thing been fucking up in my mind. This is awkward but I want you to know about this, you trust me right? I love you no matter what, and I promise I won't cheat. Never.

I have a friend who confessed his feelings to me when we were in our sophomore years, I instantly rejected him. I don't know, we're friends and I don't see him the way he sees me. He was always one of those people who makes me happy but I just can't accept his feelings for me. I thought we're fine, I thought it was already clear to the both of us that there's no "us" but I thought wrong. He came to my apartment two days before our graduation day and confessed for the 2nd time he begged for me, I swear to god it hurts me seeing him like that but I still can't. I don't see him as that person to be with me for the rest of my life. I feel bad, I really do. I'm continuously hurting him. He's perfect, the problem is me.

Look how desperate I am to meet you, future someone. I am so eager, I am so damn obsessed with that ideas but I'm pushing away a potential you, a potential future lover. I'm so fucking stupid. Jeongin-ah, I'm really sorry should we actually try? Is it too late for me to try it? I'm sorry I was too damn stupid. Sorry for hurting you for such a long time. I know, after everything I don't think I deserve you. You deserve better, you deserve more than just a Han Jisung. You are too perfect for me, I guess.

You know what future someone, I'm scared. He doesn't talk to me right now, he acts so quiet around me, and he avoids me now. Did I actually ruined our friendship? What if he stops being friends with me? What if I lose someone precious to me? I don't know, I'm scared to lose my friends because of my stupidity.

I want to know who you are, future someone. Are you Jeongin? Or are you someone else?

Am I suppose to be fucking with my life? My mind is so scattered, so clouded. I'm living in a world of pure fantasy, I should wake up very soon. What do you think?

I love you, I really do. I'm excited to meet you, to spend time with you, to hug you, to kiss you, to cuddle you. I'm excited to know that you actually exist and not just like this, I'm excited to know that I am not just living in my funny fantasies. I feel so stupid doing this, I am so stupid.

I don't wanna fuck up more, future someone.

Do you think I am capable not to fuck up? What's your guess? I kinda doubt it. Maybe I'm too imaginative to actually live in real world.

I know that you know how much I want to be with you but I don't think this stupidity should continue. I need to leave this fantasy, I need to risk and pursue you but before any of those I need to fix myself first.

I'll be honest, I am just so excited and eager for you but I'm not even ready.

I'm not yet ready to be in a relationship I am just so stunned to that idea, I need to grow more. I'm scared to risk, I'm scared to try. I love you, but maybe this will be the last time. I know it's so sudden, this is hard for me because writing a letter for you is my escape, but I guess I need to stop doing this. I need to live in reality.

Future someone, can you wait? I'll just learn to grow for myself. I just need to grow a little more, I need to learn many things for you. I love you but this is the last letter I'll write for you, I need to get out of my comfort zone and learn to risk.

Please be happy and healthy, I want all the good things for you, love. I want to meet you in the best possible condition. I love you, please wait for me. See you soon future someone!

Your future lover,
Han Jisung

Minho stared at the letter with his expressionless face. He did not expect this letter to be like this and he never thought that this will be the last one he'll receive. He was so excited for this letter only to find out that this will be the last one.

It's nothing for him it's not really a big deal but the fact that he's curious about Han Jisung makes him a bit sad to know that he will not be able to read any of his letters anymore.

These letters are already a part of his weekly routine but Han Jisung seems to be having a hard time and he understand the boy's decision. In the first place, Han Jisung doesn't even know that someone's been receiving his letters.

Minho is still happy for the boy because he's trying to fix himself and be a better version.

"Guess, we have to go back to normal," Minho whispered before keeping the letter in his drawer.

"Best wishes to you, Han Jisung." Minho said then closed his eyes to rest.

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Published:
2021.07.09