First Time For Everything [WangXian FF]

54

"We all are his family. I am Lan Xichen, from the District Attorney's office." He showed him his credential.
"Well, Mr. Lan, I'm very sorry to say that Mr. Jin didn't make it. The blunt force trauma ruptured the blood vessel in his brain, and it caused a brain haemorrhage. He passed away peacefully fifteen minutes ago. I'm sorry. Please accept my condolences."
Lan Xichen felt the world was spinning around him, thanks to Ming who caught him, he didn't fall down to the floor.
“Ming… our Yao. Our beautiful Yao. He… he…” Xichen whispered incoherently. A chill was starting to seep into his bones as the reality started sinking in.
Mingjue didn’t know what to say.
He was crying too.
They had just started to be happy and then this happened. Yao, the ever-smiling Yao.
He wasn’t with them anymore.
Everyone was in shock.
Then the guilt came next. Crashing down on each person.
Of things that were left unsaid, of things that were left undone. More hugs, more laughs. Of time that they would never get.
"What about Xue Yang? The kid?" Qing finally braved through and asked the doctor anxiously. Worry was clearly written on her face as she steadied Yanli. She had to ask, she had to know.
"Are you his family?"
"No. No, we’re not. He's an orphan, he doesn't have anyone."
The doctor nodded in understanding. "He is stable at the moment. He woke up for a couple of minutes and started screaming so we had to put him under to make him rest. He should be awake within the hour if you would like to see him."
"Thank you, doctor."
 
 
----
 
 
“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Qin Su started.
“Shut-up woman! It’s all because of you two that I am in this mess now so you better give me my fix. NOW!”
Jin Zixun looked at Qin Su and shrugged. “Let him have it SuSu. He’s become an addict.”
“And who’s fault is that?”
“Not mine! I didn’t force you to ingest it.”
“I see how it is. You cousins are horrible. HORRIBLE!” Su She screamed. “All you do is destroy anything you touch.” Suddenly he started sobbing, “Why did I ever listen to you both? Why?”
They had left the crime scene and Zixun had had the common sense to try and make it look like a robbery gone wrong but Su She felt like a noose was slowly but surely tightening around his neck. He was hyperventilating and that kind of scared Qin Su.
“Babe, it’s going to be alright, OK? Zixun will take care of it. And if push comes to shove, I will ask Mrs. Bicao to intervene again. She has saved me before, she can do it again.”
“If he dies, it’s on you Zixun. You! Not me. You! You killed him. It’s all your fault. You fucking bastard.” Su She screamed at Zixun getting into his space, clearly looking for a fight.
Zixun pushed him away hard and then put his hands around his neck, pressing to choke the life out of him.
“Zixun!” Qin Su screamed. “Stop it. Stop it, now! You will kill him!”
“Better that way. At least then he won’t be able to squeal like a fucking pig everytime he opens his mouth.”
Su She’s face was turning purple due to the lack of oxygen and Qin Su tried to pry Zixun’s hands away from Su She’s throat but he was too strong. So she finally slapped him across his face, as hard as she could. That loosened his grip and Su She got up, wheezing and coughing, trying to get as much air into his lungs as possible. Qin Su went to help him out but he smacked her hand away.
“Don’t touch me!” He spat.
“Zixun! Just give him the stuff. He’s acting crazy otherwise. We need our wits about us if we want to survive this.” Qin Su reasoned.
“Fine!” Zixun took the pouch out of his jacket and threw it at Su She. “Here, get high and die!” He left the apartment without another word.
 
 
----
 
 
It hurt.
It hurt so bad.
Please help me, anyone, help…
Xue Yang woke from his sleep, heart racing so fast that it almost felt like it burst out of his chest. He saw the unfamiliar surroundings and felt panic rise in his chest, making him breathe fast and shallow. He shivered uncontrollably.
"A-Yang, A-Yang, it's okay, it's fine. You're okay, baby."
He heard that familiar voice.
Slowly the fog that surrounded him lifted, and he recognized Yanli.
"Li-jie…"
His tears flowed, and he wanted to hug Yanli, but he felt that his body was restrained in multiple places.
"Baby, baby, don't cry… " Yanli carefully hugged him, tears also started to swim in her eyes. "You're alright now, I got you here, you're fine…" she dabbed his eyes carefully. "Please try not to move, you have a concussion and broken bones in a quite few places."
Xue Yang tried to shrink away from the touch but winced when everything in his body hurt.
"Li-jie… Li-jie…" he seemed to be unable to find a word to say, instead he was calling Yanli's name over and over, crying.
Yanli, understanding his mental state, only hugged him very carefully and murmured soothing words in his ears until he fell back asleep.
 
 
----
 
 
Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, the homicide detectives, had waited a whole day to talk to Xue Yang but it was to no avail. The boy had been incoherent. Every time he came around, he woke up screaming as if the hounds of hell were tearing up his soul piece by piece.
The doctors said it was psychological shock. He had been traumatized to such an extent that now he was afraid of even the wind whistling against his ears. Apart from that first time when he had woken up and seeked comfort in Yanli’s arms, Xue Yang had completely shut everyone off. So as per doctor’s orders no one was to enter his hospital room without implicit permission from the staff.
“Doctor, I understand the situation is dire but we really need to talk to him. It’s imperative that we get to the bottom of this ASAP.” Song Lan, pleaded.
“I understand, detective Song, but we have to do our job. The patient’s well being is of utmost importance to us. Our psychologists are working with us to get through to him. He’s a teen and at such a young age, the trauma he’s been through can have long lasting effects. We are afraid that the shock he’s gone through may never let him lead a normal life again and we are trying our best to get him to talk. So, please have patience.”
“But doctor-” Song Lan tried again only to be stopped mid sentence by a slight pressure on his arm. He looked around to see his partner and husband, shaking his head.
“It’s OK, Lanlan. It’s not like this is the first time we have hit a roadblock.” Xingchen then turned towards the doctor, smiling reassuringly. “Thank you for talking to us, doc. We really appreciate everything you’re doing. Please do let us know if anything changes.” He bowed and the doctor bowed back and left them alone to talk amongst themselves.
“Xing…”
“Babe, I know we need to crack this case but we also have to remember that he’s just a child. He’s seen things and experienced pain that he shouldn’t have had to.”
Song Lan nodded as he slumped against the wall behind him. “I don’t want the Lans on my ass.”
“I don’t think Lan Xichen is unreasonable. He’s in grief right now after he lost his best friend but he’s a brilliant lawyer and he knows the rules.”
“I know. It’s just disturbing. This boy is still young. Why would someone attack him without any ulterior motives? This case has more to it than meets the eye. We should go talk to Mr. Lan. I know he’s busy with the funeral arrangements but…”
“I agree. Let’s go.”
 
 
----
 
 
Most of them had collectively decided to go to the Lan residence after leaving the hospital, partly to seek comfort from each other and partly to keep an eye on Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue.
Only Jiang Yanli and Wen Qing went to the orphanage to give the owner the news. The old man who took care of the children wanted to go visit Xue Yang but Qing advised against it. She reasoned that the children would need someone to look after them and should be away from this mess as much as possible.
After the quick visit, the girls made their way to the Lan residence as well. The atmosphere there was anything but normal. The grief of losing such a close friend who was almost like family had hit the entire group like a wrecking-ball.
Jiang Yanli had fallen into a disturbed sleep after crying herself to sleep on Wen Qing’s shoulders. She was grieving both her closest friend and the child that was in the hospital right now, trapped in a darkness that she didn’t know how to dissipate.
Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng sat at her feet, their heads resting on each of her knees, trying to comfort their sister. They had never seen her this sad, not even after she had broken up with Jin Zixuan.
The younger brothers, Lan Wangji and Nie Huaisang were trying their best to keep their brothers in sane. After they had cried at the hospital, Xichen had gone into a complete business mode, reiterating into his office, calling people on the phone to find out who attacked Yao. Mingjue had turned his sadness into anger. He had needed to vent out and so he went to the home gym at the Lans to sweat it out. Huaisang had gone with him to keep an eye, just in case he needed help. Wangji had taken up the role of the host, getting food prepared for everyone in the house. He had needed the distraction.
The doorbell rang and everyone immediately shot up from their positions but no one moved. When the doorbell rang again, Wangji forced himself to move forward. He saw Xichen come out of the office. “It’s OK, ge. I got it.”
When he opened the door a weird feeling washed over him, of relief and anxiety. He didn’t know which one he wanted to hold on to. He stood there like a statue until he felt a hand holding his.
“Please come in, detectives.” Wuxian said. He pulled Wangji aside so that the detectives could walk into the living room where all eyes were trained on them, expectantly.
“Have a seat, please. We’re sorry we are not prepared for any visitors. It’s just…” Wuxian voice trailed off.
“It’s alright, Mr….?” Xingchen asked, extending his hand.
“Wei Wuxian. I am Lan Wangji’s boyfriend.”
“Aah… Mr. Wei. Thank you for your kindness. We won’t be taking much of your time anyway.” He looked around until he found Xichen’s eyes. “May we have a word with you Mr. Lan?”
“This way.” Xichen said, indicating towards his office. He waited for them to walk to the door.
“Ming, please…”
“I am right here, baby. Let’s go talk to them.” Ming was already at Xichen’s side even before he had said anything.
All of them looked at the couple as they entered the office with the detectives, the door closing behind them.
“Mr. Lan, Mr. Nie. We’re sorry to bother you at this time but we needed to ask a few questions.”
Lan Xichen nodded as he took a seat behind his desk, asking the others to take a seat each. Mingjue stood beside him forgoing the pleasantries.
“The boy is incoherent. He’s been traumatised.”
“We figured as much. He’s just a child. Even us, who are adults, are still reeling from the shock.” Xichen said, almost devoid of any emotions.
Mingjue looked at him with a frown and then at the detectives who had the same expression on their faces. Xichen wasn’t a person who locked his emotions but somehow he had decided to keep the pain aside and concentrate on the task at hand. It didn’t sit well with him but he would address it later. He just didn’t know when the later would come considering he couldn’t even begin to comprehend how to deal with his own grief.
“We’re still wondering why the boy was attacked.”
“I can answer that. He is a witness in a hit-and-run case involving my brother.” Mingjue said. “I think him getting attacked has something to do with this case.”
“We recently arrested a guy on suspicion. He got bailed but soon after this attack happened. So it didn’t take us long to add 2+2.”
“I see…” Song Lan said, his fingers drumming on the armrest. “So this guy, the suspicious one, do you know his whereabouts?”
“No and we can’t arrest him again without solid proof. Some really powerful people are backing them up. Not that it matters to me anyway. I will drag them to hell if I have to.” Xichen’s eyes held a hard glint to them and Xingchen could tell he would be a formidable presence in the courtroom. He had never had a chance to interact one-on-one with this distinguished lawyer but he had heard plenty.
“Of course, Mr. Lan.” Xingchen said with a tilt of his head. “We will go and talk to Zhuliu and see if we can track the guy. Thank you for your hospitality.”
After the detectives left. Xichen and Mingjue excused themselves as they went into the bedroom while the others hung around. They were not ready to leave and Xichen didn’t mind as it was. All of them at some point of time had been touched by the generosity of Yao. Today they all mourned him.
They laid on the bed together but sleep didn’t come. Both men kept staring at the ceiling thinking of a future that they had lost. A future they had planned with Yao but now which looked incomplete and desolate.
“Ming…” Xichen said, his voice sounding small.
“Yes, Xi? Do you need something?” Ming turned to face Xichen.
“You.” Xichen sniffled. “Make me forget, Ming. Make me forget the pain.”
Mingjue gathered the other man in his arms, his head resting on top of Xichen’s head, his hands caressing his back. “Do you really wanna forget?”
“Not Yao. I don’t wanna forget Yao.” Silent tears slid down Xichen’s face. “I wish we had confessed to him sooner. I wish we had more time to spend together with each other. We never got to take him on a date, Ming. We never got to have picnics or watch movies. He loved to dance and yet we never took him dancing with us. We planned but we never got to do that. Just the three of us.”
“I guess we will have to live with this guilt now, Xi. The guilt of unfulfilled wishes. I really wished I had picked up his call last night. Or seen his message. Maybe if we went to search for him, we could have saved him. So many maybes. Will we ever live completely again, Xi?”
“I don’t know, Ming. I have no answer to that. We get so busy living our lives that we forget our time here is limited.”
“I know he would never want us to feel this way. If he’s watching us now, he would be so sad.”
“He wouldn't, would he? He always saw the brighter side of things. No wonder we fell for him.” Xichen’s lips quirked up in a smile and then even that ghost of a smile faded into nothingness. “Yao is no more, Ming. Yao… YAO!” He suddenly screamed as he broke down sobbing. “You won’t leave me, right? Promise me you won’t leave me! Please, Ming.”
“Never, baby. Never. And you won’t leave me, right?”
Xichen shook his head vehemently. He burrowed into Mingjue’s embrace. “I can’t take this pain anymore. I need… I need to forget.”
“Come here, baby.” Mingjue kissed Xichen, slowly. His tongue tracing gently along the seams of his lips. “I am here… just let it all out. I will hold you through it. We will hold each other through it.” He tightened his grip as he kissed him harder.
They made love even as they cried through it. Each kiss, each touch a remembrance of the person they lost. They missed their other half. The tiny man who had lit up their lives ever since he had come into it. Whose dimples made their hearts go soft.
They missed Meng Yao.
 
 
---
 
 
Wuxian carried Yanli to the guest bedroom while Qing barely managed to drag her feet behind them. After he laid her on the bed, he caressed her cheek lightly. “Goodnight, jie.”
Qing slid beside her under the covers and closed her eyes. Both were completely wiped out after the day they had had. They had to go talk to the kids and tell them that their beloved brother was in the hospital. The children had been scared but with a lot of coaxing they finally had calmed down and went to bed.
“Thank you, Xian.”
“No need to thank me, Qing. She’s my sister and I would give my life for her.”
Qing nodded in understanding, knowing she would do the same for her brother.
He bid goodnight to her, shutting the door quietly. On the way to Wangji’s room, he peeked into the other guest rooms making sure all were resting. Once convinced he had nothing else to take care of except his boyfriend, he finally trudged up to where Wangji was.
“Lan Zhan...” Wuxian called out as he entered the dark room. All lights were switched off and the only illumination was provided by the moonlight filtering into the room through the gaps in the blinds.
“Wei Ying…”
“I am here.”
“I- I am so numb, Wei Ying.”
“I know, my love. I know.”
“I had known Yao-ge forever. And now he’s gone. Just like that. I didn’t even get to say goodbye…”
Once Wuxian’s eyes adjusted to the dark, he walked up to his boyfriend who was sitting listlessly on his bed, back against the headboard, head lowered on his knees. Wuxian sat on Wangji’s lap, facing him, as he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a hug. He didn’t know what he could do to elevate the pain that he was sure the other man was feeling except he hoped to transfer some warmth into the rigid body.
“I always used to tease him, you know? I knew he had a crush on my brother. It was so evident in the way he always stared at him and then at them. When I got to know about them getting into a relationship, all three of them, I felt so happy. He… They deserved all the happiness in the world.” Wangji turned his head to look at Wuxian, “and now, I see my brother, who’s shut himself off and Da-ge who’s trying to keep the grief away to take care of my brother and it feels wrong. It feels so wrong.”
“They will take care of each other, Lan Zhan. I know they will. I do not have any profound words to tell you. All I can say is though he may not be with us physically, we know that he will always be in our hearts and minds, right Lan Zhan? He was always wishing the best for us. Now we do the same for him. We wish him happiness wherever he is.”
Wuxian, carded his fingers through Wangji’s hair, gently as he continued, “I am here, Lan Zhan. Right beside you.”
“I am tired, Wei Ying.” Wangji laid his forehead on Wuxian's shoulder.
“Then come and rest.” Wuxian extricated himself from Wangji’s lap and scooted down on the bed, patting the space beside him for Wangji to lie down. “Come to me, Lan Zhan.”
Wangji lay his head on Wuxian’s chest as the other wrapped his arms around him again, cocooning him into his embrace as if to protect him from all harm. “I am here, Lan Zhan. Sleep.”
“Sing to me, Wei Ying. I want to fall asleep to your voice.”
Wuxian hummed a random tune that came into his mind and that finally lulled Wangji into sleep. He kissed the top of his boyfriend’s head as he too let sleep drag him under.
 
 
----
 
 
In another room, a similar scene could be seen where Haiusang cried uncontrollably while Cheng patted his back, murmuring soft words as consolation.
“Chengcheng,” Huaisang sobbed. “I hate this. Why did Yao-ge have to die? Why? I never got the time to enjoy his presence in Da-ge’s life. This is so unfair!”
“It is unfair, b. I- I really don’t know what to say except, you got me. Cry all you want. I will hold you and love you through it all.”
Huaisang cried until he started hiccupping. Cheng fetched a glass of water for him to drink. “Sang, hush b. You have to be strong for Da-ge. Remember, his loss is far more than what we feel.”
“I- I know Chengcheng. I know. I wish we never faced these problems. I wish things were alright.”
“We can only move forward from here, Sang. We don’t have any other choice.”
Huaisang sobbed more and then fell asleep, Cheng falling asleep right with him.
 
 
---
 
 
Yanli woke up with a start. She felt disoriented for a few seconds before reality came crashing back in. Yao… Oh, Yao. Why? Why? I was so excited to go to the recital today and… and… you left us, Yao. She sat up, drawing her knees to her chest, hid her face in the crook of her arms and sobbed silently. She didn’t want to wake Qing up but she couldn’t help the broken ries leaving her lips.
“Li?” Qing asked in a sleep-heavy voice. “Babe? Hey…” She sat up too wrapping an arm around Yanli in support.
Yanli didn’t look up but kept crying, so all Qing could do was hold her.
After a while, Yanli looked up with puffy eyes. “Qing, go to sleep. I-I can;t sleep but don’t stay up because of me. You have work tomorrow.”
“I can call in sick tomorrow. I wish I had finished my residency sooner so that I could help Yao-ge. I wish I were able to help him.”
“No… don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself. You will save a lot more people once you finish your studies. Promise me, Qing. You won’t give up and save people. People in need.”
“I will. I promise, I will be the best doctor this side of town. I will do it for Yao-ge.”
“He would love that, wouldn’t he? He always encouraged all of us to follow our dreams. I am so glad I knew him. I am so glad he was my best friend.”
“And I am glad I got to meet him as well. He was so full of life. I wish we had more time.”
“I wish that too…” Fresh tears appeared on her face but she wiped them away. Now we need to save the children. A-yang and the babies.”
“We will go visit them tomorrow again, OK?”
Yanli nodded. Suddenly she fisted her hands as hate filled her eyes. “How cruel someone has to be to hurt him! I want to hurt them back.”
“Li, baby. We will get them. I am sure, Xi-ge and Ming-ge won’t rest easy until they do. I also know my cousin, Zhuliu will do his best to solve this. Let’s have faith in the system. Li. Don’t give up.”
“I won’t. I won’t let go until I see the culprits behind bars. They will be punished.”
They couldn’t sleep anymore. The grief of losing Yao and then the worry about Xue Yang and the children kept them up all through the night.