T or D Book 3: DO OR DIE

Welcome to the Mace Party (J.W.)

Hosts: *frozen in shock*

Hosts:...................

Joy: I'm.....I'm gutted.

Air: *bursts into tears*

Rainkeeper: *tearing up* Oh my moons, I didn't think this would affect me so bad-

Nightflyer: *starts shredding books of Elvis sheet music and poetry* 

Nightflyer: ROMANCE IS DEAD!

Seashell: Someone....explain to the public...

Kelp: I'll do it. *sniffles*

Kelp: So our scavenger author plays DND, her character's name is Emrys.

Kelp: And Emrys met this girl named Evangeline. And Evangeline was PERFECT. She flirted with her, she was sweet and kind, she fought better than the idiots of the party, she had a pet dragon-

Joy: Sheer perfection.

Kelp: Was also drop dead gorgeous. And in a whirlwind romance, Emrys and Evangeline got married after Evangeline proposed.

Nightflyer: The wedding was the best session we've ever had, Charis made out with a chair, a dude got whipped- it was a fun night.

Kelp: And after that, things were smooth sailing. Emrys is a total simp so she can and did do everything to keep Evangeline safe and defend her and love her- was even willing to sacrifice other party members to protect her. We went through actual hell and fought the seven sins with her.

Air: But then we went back to Emrys's hometown....

Kelp: Where there was some drama because Emrys had been previously engaged and her family had essentially adopted her ex and her ex thought they were still gonna get married, it was....rough breaking that up. 

Joy: If by rough you mean the other party members actually cried irl and another player had to come play our therapist and hug us before leaving to go screw Emrys's mom-

Kelp: So yeah. Rough 24 hours. BUT THEN- BASTARD-

Seashell: There was this shady bartender who had a history with Evangeline and another member of the party. We knew he was a bad guy but- BUT-

Joy: TURNS OUT, HE'S THE ONE SIN WE DIDN'T GET THE CHANCE TO FIGHT.

Rainkeeper: AND HE'S MARRIED. TO EVANGELINE.

Nightflyer: And it was all a lie. Emry's entire relationship- all the kind words, the songs, the love-

Nightflyer: *wails*

Kelp: Nightflyer's taking it the hardest.

Air: Of course he is, he's a romantic, and our DM just MURDERED THE PUREST RELATIONSHIP WE HAD

Joy: The DM is a sadist. She knows this.

Kelp: We saw her at a party yesterday and she actually ran away in fear and spent the party with at least three people between us because she was afraid we'd kill her.

Rainkeeper: Joy being covered in knives didn't help.

Joy: I wanted her to feel as much fear as we felt pain.

Rainkeeper: As she should. 

*players appear*

Winter: Why.

Qibli: Can you guys imagine for a moment how relieved we're gonna be when this series finally ends?

Moon: That's never going to happen.