T or D Book 3: DO OR DIE

That's Twisted (J.W.)

Rainkeeper: Alright, I got one.

Air: Then let's hear it!

Rainkeeper: A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. 

Rainkeeper: It's a shitzu.

Air: *bursts out laughing*

Kelp: Eh, I've heard better.

Rainkeeper: Fine, then you tell one, wise guy.

Kelp: Fine.

Kelp: A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her front pocket and thinks "Some asshole has my pen."

Hosts: *laughing even harder*

Joy: WAIT WAIT, I'VE GOT ONE.

Joy: Three vampires walk into a bar-

Kelp: Oh, I know this one, this is hilarious.

Joy: The bartender comes over to ask what they would like. The first replies "A pint of blood, please." The second nods and says "A pint for me too, thanks." The bartender turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire replies "Just a cup of hot water, thanks."

Kelp: *already giggling*

Joy: Confused, the bartender asks why he's not having blood like the other two. The vampire pulls out a tampon and says "I'm making tea."

*players appear*

Hosts: *losing their shit*

Carnelian: I would ask what's so funny, but I don't honestly care.

Qibli: They're probably just remembering some time they caused us great horrible pain.

Winter: Facts.

Nightflyer: That moment when you were babysitting for ten hours straight so you forgot it was an update day and the only thing your remaining braincell knows anymore is zombie pigmen from Minecraft.

Joy: Did you know that if you tie a pig to a lead in minecraft, and drop it over the side of a ledge, it'll bounce forever and not die?

Joy: Also TNT. That ten year old LOVED TNT.

Kelp: So much energy....I wanna sleep.

Rainkeeper: We all wanna sleep.

Seashell: But I'm afraid there's NO SLEEP TIL BROOKLYN.

*Kevin hits a guitar in the background*

Air: We're working on his musical skills.

Kelp: *starts crying* Tam was so good at music.

Joy: HIS TALENT WAS SO WASTED IN THE GROCERY STORE.

Rainkeeper: He could've been great. But no.....Instead we're stuck with whatever garbage the rappers of today are.

Nightflyer: This kid was listing rappers he knew, and we didn't know a single one. Not. ONE.

Nightflyer: We are too young to be this out of touch with the trends and popular stuff of today. 

Air: No, we're just CULTURED IN THE WAYS OF MUSIC, AND WE DON'T LISTEN TO GARBAGE.

Joy: Speaking of garbage, we need Turtle to sing.

Kinkajou: BITCVH-

Joy: Meaning that his family thinks he's garbage. I don't. Turtle is underrated.