It wasn't worth it.

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ANGST/ TW: SUICIDE, SELF-HARM


Hermione wept at the foot of her bed. She felt as though it was her fault. She should have realized how you were feeling sooner. She should have told you it was all okay. She should have found a way to help. But she couldn't. She just had to keep arguing with you and putting you down.


FLASHBACK


You, Ron, Hermione, and Harry sat and discussed ideas. You and Hermione, mostly Hermione, were happy. You were feeling the way you had been for years. Sad, lonely, depressed, and misunderstood. You felt unvalued yet you tried to make everyone else happy. 


You had spoken of something you wanted to try to do, but Hermione rolled her eyes. "Don't be so stupid, Y/N. That will never work." Ron and Harry gave Hermione a confused look, but said nothing about it. You felt stupid. The words hurt. You had ended up excusing yourself to the bathroom.


-TWENTY MINUTES LATER-


You walked with Hermione to your common room chatting away. You held her hand but everytime your uniform would rub against your arm you'd flinch. Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Why do you keep flinching. Are you hurt?" You shake your head. "It's nothing."


FLASHBACK ENDED


She had looked through your stuff when you had passed, and found a a blade. She could still see a slight bit of blood. She didn't dare touch it. She couldn't. She found herself crying harder at the sight. She couldn't help but remember the way she found you. 

-FLASHBACK FROM A WEEK AGO-

She was walking back from classes to see you.  She couldn't find you anywhere. Until she found you with a bottle of pills and your sleeves rolled up as well as your pants. You weren't breathing. Some pills were scattered across the floor, some on your bed. 


She gasped as she saw what you had carved into your limbs. "Stupid. - Hermione", "Unlovable - Percy", and a few others. She ran a gentle finger along the one scarred over carving. Stupid. She hadn't realized one word would help along something that could lead to suicide.


She felt tears sting her eyes as she processed this before she broke down in tears.  She shouldn't have said that to her girlfriend. She was dead. And now she could never try and be there for her. She should have asked how you were feeling. And she now felt like such a fool.


-FLASHBACK ENDED-


Hermione wiped her tears and stood up. She had to be strong for you. But, could she? You are dead. What else is there to live for? She shook her head, trying to clear the thoughts. She ended up bawling on the floor again. It wasn't worth it.



A/N: Idk I was bored

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