GHOST CABIN ☆ EARTHMIX AU

Part eight: butterfly effect

"Life comes from the earth and life returns to the earth."

- Zhuangzi

Middle of the night.

It was dark outside and even darker inside.

Mix was curled up on the sofa, a big fluffy blanket covering him from the night chill of the Ghost Cabin. His eyes were closed, he was breathing slow, but he wasn't sleeping.

He couldn't sleep.

Earth's words were lingering in his ears, flowing into his mind, despite their conversation ending hours ago.

"I died in 1965. I stepped in front of your grandmother and her tiny baby—your father, just in time to stop the bullet with my own body. The next thing I know, I am a ghost, looking down at my bloodied body, lifeless on the dirty convenience store tiles."

The way Earth was talking about his death felt like he was narrating a story rather than describing his own tragic fate. During their conversation, it made Mix uncomfortable but now he understood. It had been years, decades even, so for Earth, to in a way becoming numb to it—didn't seem that strange to Mix.

Earth saved his grandmother.

Earth saved his father.

If Earth didn't do what he did, Mix wouldn't be there, he wouldn't be alive.

But Earth would be.

Mix was alive because Earth died.

Mix now understood his grandmother. Earth deserved to be alive. He deserved to live the life that was so violently, so rapidly taken from him.

What can I do to bring you back, Earth? Forced love won't work. Earth is a ghost; only hours ago I thought that ghosts don't exist. Can I possibly fall in love with one? Let's take it step by step, Earth. Let's take our time, and if nothing then I promise I'll stay with you at least as your friend.

A crackling sound woke up Mix from his deep thoughts, he opened his eyes, his body sprung into a sitting position, the blanket still wrapped around his shoulders. There was a fire in the fireplace and one piece of wood was floating in the air, slowly descending on the pile of already burning wood.

Mix froze, shock spread through him, rendering him speechless. What was...how can wood fly like that. Mix must be seeing things, he closed his eyes and then opened them again, another piece of wood was in the air... wait... it wasn't that he was seeing things, it was that he wasn't seeing them. He let out a deep sigh, Mix you are so...it's Earth! A ghost, that thing you apparently do still not believe in.

Mix ruffled his already messy hair and looked at the fireplace, the warmth from the fire was pleasing—spreading all over the cabin. How was it so cold only at the beginning of September? Or maybe wasn't that cold, it was just that Mix wasn't used to that kind of weather.

"Earth?"

"You looked cold," Mix heard Earth's voice as the last piece of wood entered the fireplace.

"Thank you, it's surprisingly cold for this time of the year."

Earth sat on the sofa beside Mix, admiring Mix's adorably messy hair, outlining the shape they were creating with his hand, hoping he will be able to feel their softness one day. "I think that's partly my fault."

"Why?"

Earth smiled, as Mix turned in his direction, looking at him...looking at where he was... "I'm a ghost, there is a coldness around me all the time, even though I personally can't feel temperature at all."

"What...what can you feel?" Mix asked, he looked eager to know the answer, he was interested. "Is that a stupid question? I'll probably have a lot of stupid questions along the way." He laughed awkwardly, "I don't have a big knowledge about ghosts."

"Not surprising, considering we didn't exist in your dictionary, until now. When it comes to what I can feel...well I can feel emotions," Earth said in a light manner but Mix could hear the vulnerability in those words.

"Sometimes I wish I couldn't feel emotions anymore, I'm dead anyway. But then I remember that I need my emotions if I want to have even a slim chance to be alive again, and suddenly emotions aren't that bad. But that's probably not what you wanted to know..."

"No, but I'm glad you told me," Mix said, folding his legs under himself, his left hand on the sofa's back, supporting his head. His eyes were flickering in the shadowy darkness of the room, curious, eager to find more about Earth.

"I can't feel the temperature around me so if you are ever cold, tell me and I'll step away from you. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable because of me. Besides that, I can't really taste anything but I haven't eaten anything since I died so it doesn't matter anyway. And of course, as I already told you I can't touch you and your things until you truly accept my existence," Earth explained to the eagerly nodding Mix.

"Um, wow, I just...it's all so foreign to me I guess," Mix bit his lips. "Don't you miss it? Being able to feel the temperature of the air around yourself, being able to taste things, to touch them?"

Earth shook his head despite knowing Mix couldn't see him. He looked at his see-through hand, the little smile he had on his lips slowly disappearing, "I miss my body. The flesh and bones, the beating heart, the need to breathe...I miss being alive."

A heavy quietness fell upon them. The realness, the raw emotions in Earth's voice, cut through Mix like a knife. What should he say? What would one say in this situation? Mix looked down on his body, his hands, his torso, his legs—they were there, solid. They weren't see-through. He wasn't see-through. But what if he suddenly was? He closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing, feeling every heartbeat his heart took. He was alive. But what if he suddenly wasn't? How would he feel? How did Earth feel?

He looked in front of himself, right where he thought that Earth was, not so far from him, actually, maybe on the length of his arm, maybe not even that much. He could vaguely feel the coldness coming up from there, but he won't say anything...it didn't bother him.

His eyes focused on the level where he was guessing, Earth's face was, he tried to imagine it: what colour were Earth's eyes? Were they dark chocolate brown or caramel-like? What about his nose? Was it sharp and pointy or round and small? Did he have visible cheekbones or was his face more baby-like, that you want to squeeze it? Were his lips plump with a breath of light pink or maybe narrow and darker? What about his hair? Were they long, short? What kind of shade were they?

He stopped, he wasn't going to try to imagine how Earth looked. He was going to wait. One day he will see Earth with his own eyes and no imagination will be needed. Until then he will work on himself, on his perception of the world, of the real and supposed 'unreal.' And maybe the more he will try the sooner he will see his first ghost. The only ghost he wanted to see.

"Do you think that we could...that we...one day...that—"

"It's late, Mix. You need to sleep. It's been an exhausting week for you, take some rest. I'll take care of the fire." Earth interrupted Mix, who even himself had no idea what he wanted to say.

Hey, Earth listen, do you think that we can love each other one day? Mix internally rolled his eyes on himself, what was he thinking, saying that? How come he went from not believing in ghosts no matter what, to try asking one if they can fall in love, in the span of not even twelve hours?

He really needed some rest.

To be continued...

P.S. Double update for today...there's actually no reason for it. I just felt like one part wasn't enough. Love youuu 🤎❤