part fifty-four: hopeless

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"Grief is two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life."

- Anne Roiphe

Earth was sitting on the sofa, his body was progressively getting more and more see-through

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Earth was sitting on the sofa, his body was progressively getting more and more see-through. It wasn't only his hands but also his chest that was back to being nothing more than just air.

He was starting to be nervous. He thought that if he could calm himself down, everything would be back to normal — well, his kind of normal. But no matter how much he tried, it was getting only worse.

He couldn't even hold Mix's necklace in his hands anymore. Earth could feel it hanging on his still tangible neck, could feel its cold edges and how they were burning a mark on his skin.

The mark of Mix being real, of his touch and his love. That necklace meant that Earth didn't make Mix up. That Mix was real. That he came to the cabin unaware that his whole life would be turned upside down by one desperate ghost.

That necklace was reminding Earth that Mix was coming back. He would be there with Earth soon. Earth could wait that much. He could do it. For Mix, he would wait until the universe collapses and the time stops for eternity.

Earth was alright, he was feeling good. The see-thoroughness was nothing to be worried about — he was completely see-through for decades, after all.

But he couldn't fool himself — he knew that this time it was different. He was in the most crucial part of his regeneration and Mix — the person he needed the most — was gone for way longer than they had promised to each other.

What if something had happened to Mix? A sudden sharp pain struck through Earth's chest — his heart! Something was happening, but it didn't seem like a good sign at all.

Mix. Mix was surely okay. He must have been. Earth would never forgive himself if something had happened to Mix because he wasn't with him. Because he couldn't be.

Earth was the one who persuaded Mix to go to his sister's wedding. It was the right thing to do, but what if? What if something —

Earth shook his head, he couldn't think about it. Mix was fine and he was coming back to him. The reason why he was late was — it must have been the weather. It was snowing like crazy for days. That was it! It must have been it.

Earth stood up, wanting to come closer to the window to see the frozen world outside better. His small soul hoping that maybe he would come in a contact with his angel coming back to him.

He made a few steps, his body — almost all see-through now — was shaking, his legs felt like they were made from water. He made one more step before his body gave up, falling to the floor like a maple leaf in the wind.

The floor was there to stop his fall but it also felt like it wasn't. It was as if he was floating in the air unable to touch or feel anything again. Just like before.

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