Part eighteen: the crossroads

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"Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe."

– Saint Augustine

"Your whole name is Pirapat Watthanasetsiri? You wrote the 'What do you want to be when you grow up? The question that destroys children's future,' article?" Mix must have looked like a lunatic at that moment — mouth vide opened, eyes, even more, ...

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"Your whole name is Pirapat Watthanasetsiri? You wrote the 'What do you want to be when you grow up? The question that destroys children's future,' article?" Mix must have looked like a lunatic at that moment — mouth vide opened, eyes, even more, starring at what he supposed was the place where a freaking author of his favourite newspaper article was standing.

"Among many others, yes that's me," Earth chuckled, before realizing, "wait, how do you know?"

"It is you!" Mix was losing it as if he just met a celebrity or something.

"Ehmm, Mix...you are...are you alright?"

"Oh, sorry. Yes, I'm totally okay. I'm just really happy," Mix was grinning so much his jaw was starting to hurt.

"Happy?"

"Yes. I mean, honestly, this feels almost more unbelievable than the fact that ghosts exist. Like, I met the author of my favourite newspapers article ever. And it's you! It's crazy!"

"Mix, calm down first, okay?" Earth said, shaking his head over Mix.

"I'm calm. What are you talking about?"

"You are? Then why you are acting like you just met Marilyn Monroe or something?"

Mix finally realized that he probably looked ridiculous. Who in their right mind would freak out upon meeting the writer of the newspapers article? Only Mix. "No, I'm fine. I'm sorry. I'm just surprised that you wrote my favourite article ever. I read it when I was fifteen and it stuck with me since. I even thought about it shortly after I came here."

"Well, thank you. I'm happy you love it," Earth said quietly, struck by the oddity of life. What a coincidence. Or something more...

"Isn't it such a coincidence?" The big grin still lingered on Mix's lips.

"Maybe it isn't. Maybe we are meant to be. Since the beginning. It was always you and me. Together." Earth said slowly, watching as Mix's face went from smiling to confusion, to fear, to acceptance and belief. There was definitely a possibility that Mix felt it too. Their connection. It was there. It was there since the beginning. Even before they met.

"Why...why would you say that?" Mix's voice was quiet, careful.

"Can't you feel it Mix? Am I really the only one that feels that there is more between us than just acquaintanceship or friendship? Do you really don't feel even a tiny bit of something more? Nothing?" Earth's voice cracked. He shook his head; what was he doing? He shouldn't pressure Mix. He should give both of them more time.

Then, why he couldn't stop his words?

"Mix, don't you like me? Not even a bit?"

"Earth," Mix finally broke his silence, "you...you said it yourself; you can't force someone to love someone else." Mix sounded uncertain like he himself wasn't sure what he really thought, what he truly felt.

Earth's face fell, "yeah, yeah...you are right. I'm sorry. Forget I said something. I don't know what had gotten into me." He chuckled awkwardly. "Anyway, I  think you need some time alone. So, I'll be somewhere around if you need me."

Mix's eyes were closed. His mind — chaos, a mess, a clueless him who stands on the crossroads unable to choose. Turn right or turn left. How can you choose if both paths are the same? The same darkness, the same dust, the same fog of uncertainty, the same danger, the same nothingness. Only at the end of one of the roads is a better, brighter, calmer, more beautiful, more exciting, more fulfilling life. The life worth living. The life at the end of which, you won't regret it.

But which one it is? Which one should Mix choose? He was scared, confused to make a step towards one of those paths. Earth was right. Mix did feel something. But did that feeling mean that he liked Earth in that way? Was it even possible to have feelings for someone you never saw, never touched? Could their situation be compared to all those people who fell in love with each other despite never meeting each other; only talking through the internet? Mix never understood people like that.

And yet, here he was, falling for a ghost. And it was not because of that stupid legend his grandmother was obsessed with. Mix wasn't even sure that what the legend says, works. No, it wasn't that. It was the way Mix's whole body and mind reacted when Earth was around. That rush of excitement but at the same time, the soothing calmness both ran through him together. It was something new and pleasing.

That comfort he felt every time Earth was close to him, despite all the coldness that surrounded Earth. Or that almost-touch Mix could rarely feel through the blanket on the sofa, that somehow made Mix shiver when he felt it for the first time and for every other time after that.

Mix was falling for Earth. Or he already did, somewhere in the middle of overthinking how crazy all of it was. And he liked that feeling. That feeling when your body lights up the moment your special someone is around you, pays attention to you, talks to you, listens to you, looks at you, smiles at you...

Mix wanted to see Earth. He wanted to see Earth looking at him; Earth smiling at him; Earth frowning at him, even being mad at him. Mix wanted to see it all. 

Mix was sure now. He wanted to be able to see Earth all the time because he liked Earth.

"Wait, please stay," his eyes were still closed. He was afraid to open them and not be able to see what he was sure he wanted to see the most. "You are right, I do feel something."

There it was that familiar coldness so close to Mix, so much in his personal space and that was fine. That was more than fine. Mix opened his eyes, breathing out," I like you," his voice almost too soft to hear.

His eyes locked in the ebony ones looking right at him, full of hope and surprise.

"I like you and I can see you."

To be continued...

P.S. Mix losing it over a newspapers article...I...I mean everyone is passionate about something I guess.😃 Oh, yeah, and he can see Earth now. 🥺

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