Cleo Horan
Harry had come upstairs about an hour after I left him alone with Zayn, and we didn't talk much. He told me Zayn was staying in the guest bedroom downstairs so we could continue our much-needed conversation tomorrow, and I could understand the warning in his voice.
I knew he was mad at me, I was mad at myself too.
Moments like these helped me realize how fucking uncontrolled I was, but I just couldn't help it. I was feeling so many things at once that they were
suffocating, and trying to turn them into nothing was a very difficult thing to do. And Zayn wasn't helpful at all when he started talking about Niall.
I always did my best not to mention my brother, it was actually the only thing I knew I couldn't handle. What sucked was that we needed to talk about his death, especially since I just found out Liam had been the one who killed him.
Liam Payne... I was so fucking stupid.
This was all my fault, if I hadn't allowed him into my life then maybe Niall could be alive. Zayn was right, my stupidity was putting the lives of the people I loved in danger.
How the fuck could I control it? I had no idea, it was like I wasn't in control anymore... that's why I snapped at him.
I actually held a knife to his neck and I honestly didn't care at all about who he was at the moment. If Harry hadn't helped me snap out of it, I had no idea what I could've been capable of doing. And I hated myself even more, I knew how much Harry loved Zayn.
He was helpful and he worried about us, I knew I was selfish and impulsive. But I just couldn't help it.
The look in Harry's eyes after he pulled me away was enough for me to know he wasn't happy at all about my behavior, and when he asked me to come upstairs I just did what he asked... it was the safest option, I needed to calm down.
Learning the truth about Liam was a trigger, I knew it that Cindy wasn't working alone... fuck, I could never have imagined she had a brother, though. But was she the mastermind behind it all? Did Liam simply follow her orders?
I didn't regret killing Cindy, she was indirectly the reason my brother was dead. And Liam was the next name on my list, he had earned his way to the top quite fast.
The files I had could wait, my focus was on him now. I really hoped he was looking for me... because I was fucking ready.
Maybe this was why I couldn't sleep, I kept replaying every single moment I ever spent with Liam, and I tried to find any clues about his behavior.
One of them could be that he asked a lot about Eroda or how my work was related to strippers. I used to think he was just horny and indirectly asking me to strip for him, looks like I was wrong.
He planned it all... and maybe if he was good in bed then he would've stuck around for longer. The size of his dick didn't matter at all, our fuck buddy relationship didn't last long and I got tired of him. But that doesn't mean he didn't follow me.
Liam still watched me, now I was sure of it. I was so fucking angry that rage was pretty much the only thing keeping me motivated. I didn't fucking care if he thought I was involved with trafficking or whatever else, he signed his death sentence the moment he killed Niall.
My brother didn't deserve to die... I deserved it much more than him.
"What are you thinking about?" Harry surprised the fuck out of me when he spoke up, the dim lighting of the lamp on the bedside table gave the room a soft yellowish glow.
