My Best Friends Brother

Chapter 23

I didn't exactly pack for a party, I'd completely forgotten they did this thing at the end of the week if I'm honest. Back in the days we were here this was the night all the raging hormones came to a head, girls and guys from different schools finding each other on the dance floor to have the last night of their holiday flings reach their climax.

The jeans I wore here are the best thing I have, finding a black button up screwed up at the bottom of the bag from the business weekend I went on a few weeks ago is better than any of my basketball gear. I hang it up in the bathroom when taking a long, hot shower to get rid of the creases.

Either this thing has shrunk or I've over done it in the gym because it definitely wasn't always this tight on me before. Although... I guess I've been working off a lot of frustration while I've been here to be fair.

Rolling the sleeves up, I pull on my shoes before trying to do something with my hair, it needs cutting but I've been too fucking busy to get it done.

There's no blow dryer here so I have to settle for towel drying it into a semi-wet messy look before styling it as best I can.

I kind of look like I've just been fucked but it'll do. Quickly checking the back of my outfit, I smooth the fabric down over my abs, each one evident in this shirt. It isn't until this moment I realise the butterflies building in my stomach, a nervous anticipation about leaving this room as I begin to choke on my own aftershave.

Fuck. I'm dressing up for him.

He's gonna look good, I already know he fucking will, it's impossible for him to look anything else. I just kind of want him to think the same about me...

You're so fucked here Josh.

Before I can prime my hair any more, I get out of the room, shoving the door closed after deciding to leave my jacket. It'll probably be boiling in there.

The air outside is brisk but not as cold as last night, that tent was fucking freezing. Looking around the camp on my way through I realise this will be the last time I ever visit it, unless I get to have little basketball players of my own one day. It seems like a pipe dream that's a million miles away right now, I'd give anything to have a family like Aleah and Jayce have made. Find someone you love enough to raise little humans together.

The path has a few stragglers, girls who look like they're ready to pass out with the guys that refuse to remove the tongues from their throats. I cough loudly and try not to laugh as they break apart and rush back to the dance. Thank fuck I went into business instead of teaching, just watching these guys for a few days has been exhausting. I don't now how Coach has done it for so long.

Pulling open the doors, I feel like I've entered a bad nineties high school chick-flick. There's a table stacked with red cups and punch bowls, flashing disco lights covering the room in a mixture of red and green shadows and the overwhelming musk of post-pubescent lust.

A few of the teams here have much younger players than ours, fourteen maybe fifteen year olds running around the edges whilst the seniors are sticking to the groups in the middle.

I spot Coach in the back corner, chatting with a few of the dads that came on the trip. Since their leader fucked off they've been decent with me but it's clear I'm not their favourite person so I decide to go over to the mums that have gathered on a bench at the far side, poorly hiding the fact they're filling their cups with wine from their purses. Brie would love this lot, she got banned from the PTA meetings at Heather's school last year for calling one of the stuck up mums who was giving Al dirty looks 'the most unfuckable human being she'd ever met', then going on to imply that her kid must be adopted because there's no way something that cute came out of a bridge-troll like her. It made for a good YouTube video after one of the kids caught it on their phone.

I almost get all the way over to them when I feel eyes burrowing into the side of my skull. I'm too nervous to fucking look at first, taking a deep breath before turning to face him.

Oh fuck... Okay, remember when I said I knew he'd look good? Yeah, I didn't know he'd look this fucking good...

His grey button up shirt is skin tight, showing off every fucking muscle in his chest. He's left enough buttons open I could reach inside and have my hand over his heart in seconds. Those jeans shouldn't be fucking legal and his sleeves are rolled up just enough to show off the tips of his tats.

Fuck me. That's not okay, the shit running around my head right now is definitely not okay.

His hair isn't messy like usual, its pushed back so the world can get lost in his hazelnut chocolate eyes. Even in the dark there's no missing them, especially when he's trailing them over me like he currently is.

The red cup in his hands comes to his perfect lips but it does fuck all to hide his smirk.

Stop being sexy. I really need you to not be this fucking gorgeous Miles.

"Hey Josh."

Shit. She's so short I didn't even see her come up to me, although with the way my eyes were locked with Milo's then, she could've been seven foot and I still would've missed her. Did she see us staring?

"Hi Zoe, having fun?"

She smiles softly and I'm glad to see it, she's been really broken every other time I've seen her this week and I hate seeing people upset like that. Eli kind of filled me in on what happened, I'm not making excuses for the girl but whatever she did, she didn't deserve to have photos of her taken like that without her consent.

"I'm going to be soon." She smiled widely this time before refilling her drink and going back off to the group.

When I looked back, Milo's attention was being directed at a red headed girl who couldn't seem to stop touching him. He wasn't trying to stop her either, smiling down at whatever she was saying. Stop reading so much into it...

For a second his eyes glanced over the top of her head directly at me, but our vision was lost again as Eli shoved him into the poor girl before dragging them all to the dance floor.

I tried to keep my eyes away from him, dropping down into the spare seat next to the mums, who all gave me a smile or a wave before carrying on with their conversation.

He was watching me, even when I forced my head away from his direction I could still feel him peering into me from across the room.

I busied myself with anything else, most of the chaperones disappeared from around the room within a few hours as they took different groups back to their dorms, we weren't leaving until lunch tomorrow but a lot of the schools that were further away had to leave at the crack of dawn so were getting back now.

Zoe's aunt had volunteered to stay with the cheerleaders so had made herself comfortable next to me as all the others left.

"I wish those two would sort this out, the poor girl has been beside herself without him and they're so bloody cute together. I hope she does what I tell her too, she needs to get her guy back."

I'd managed to keep my eyes from the floor for almost an hour but as I looked back now I could see Zoe had her arms locked around Miles waist, looking up at him like he was god while he laughed deeply at Eli getting ripped to pieces by some girl who I'm guessing he never called back. My heart ached in my chest as I stared at the two of them together.

Her. Someone like her, that's who he's supposed to be with. That's who he should be sending flirty messages too and holding under the fucking stars, a girl his own fucking age who will go off to college with him and watch every single one of his games with a smile. Someone bubbly and full of life, not someone who feels like he's been shot if he sleeps at the wrong fucking angle. I'm getting in the way of that and I'm just going to get myself fucking broken in the process.

This week... It was a mistake. He just got caught up in the hurt after losing her, it'll just be one of those funny memories he thinks back on in ten years and realises how he almost fucked everything up by nearly kissing a guy.

"Yeah, they're perfect."

My heart sinks as I watch her look up into him, moving to her toes to reach. I already know what's going to happen but I can't look away.

Zoe catches him off guard, too busy laughing at Eli he doesn't realise what's about to happen. She grabs his jaw firmly, turning him towards her before placing her lips firmly up onto his.

The pit in my stomach grows so much I think my whole body is going to be summoned into the emptiness of it, I don't know why I feel so fucking hurt because I have no fucking reason to be. Tomorrow I'll leave this place and it'll be like nothing fucking happened.

All the people around them start to woop and cheer, clearly they think they belong together too. Zoe doesn't let up, holding him firm and deepening the kiss.

He doesn't pull away either. He doesn't even try.

Not that he should.

The knife in my gut threatens to bleed me dry from the inside out and I can't fucking sit here anymore. This isn't me, I don't feel shit like this. I'm not some love sick fucking high schooler.

"Are you good with Coach to get these back to their beds? I'm beat."

She nods, a huge smile on her face as she watches her niece get her man. Guess her plan worked.

I walk quickly, not looking back but keeping my head high. I thought I heard someone call my name but it doesn't stop me.

The dorm is quiet, most of our school still back at the dance watching the future prom King and Queen make plans for babies.

Opening the door to the room, my chest really fucking hurts. I thought it was just from taking those steps three at a time to get up here but it's more than that.

I just feel so stupid.