My Best Friends Brother

Chapter 209

"What the fuck do you mean she's getting out this week?!"

I honestly don't know why I fucking bother ringing Brie, she's so fucking loud I could just lean out my office window and hear her from the damn dance studio on the other side of town.

"Brie, chill the fuck out, it's fine. Stephanie said it's something about overcrowding at the prison, I messaged Hannah but it's kind of out of her control. It won't make a difference to us anyway, Chrissy can't come near me or Liam with the restraining order still in place." It's not exactly the news I wanted to wake up to this morning but I haven't heard a word from her since I got full custody anyway - not that I expected to.

"Fine. I swear to fucking God though, Josh, that bitch comes near that little man and I am going to tear her throat out with my fucking teeth." Charlie chuckles from the other side of my office, I don't know why I bothered setting him up with his own when all he does all day is stand in mine like a fucking potted plant.

He finally manages to tear his attention away from his new secretary doing sit ups on his lunch break and skips over to my desk before planting his skinny ass right on top of it.

"Chill my gorgeous baby Mama, the girls down at the nail place just did my new acrylics and they filed them into points, I could use them like little chopsticks to take her eyeballs out if she tries to come near that precious angel." Charlie scrapes his excessively long nails along my desk, the sound against the glass making a shiver run up my fucking spine, it's fucking chilling. "Plus, you know that some of your DNA seeped into Luna through the fucking womb, that girl is like a little Wolverine in the making."

He ain't fucking wrong. I love Luna, she is my favourite of all my godchildren, well I guess she's my only godchild but still, she's an animal.

Thank God that Han is there to settle situations, because when Luna bit a kid's arm so hard at nursery last week that you could've taken a fucking imprint of her teeth from the wound, Charlie's response was to tell the mother of said child that she shouldn't have dressed him in three year old Prada if she didn't want him to get fucking bullied.

I told you, an animal.

I'm terrified of what we've unleashed on the world in that girl. Even May looks at her sometimes like she's just a loaded gun waiting to go off... If that isn't a cause for concern, I don't know what is.

"That's my girl. How's that new sex-retary of yours working out, babes? Still fit as fuck?" I roll my eyes as Charlie immediately starts going off into a rant about this guy's ass.

The dude doesn't know the difference between a staple and a fucking paper clip, but the minute Charlie saw him he practically offered him half his fucking wage just too sit at the desk in front of his office looking pretty.

"Bitch, you need to come down here and see him for yourself, I love them when they're dumb and beautiful... It's why I've stuck around Josh so long."

Cheeky little bastard!

I reach out trying to smack him but the little stick insect just scarpers away to the couch, laying on his back like a fucking upside down tortoise and kicking his legs in the air as him and Brie laugh their fucking heads off.

"I don't know why you're laughing, Brianna. At least I wasn't stupid enough to forget to file my own fucking marriage certificate until four years later and now have to do the whole thing all fucking over again!" That shut her the fuck up.

Yep, turns out Steve changed his name to Parker on everything for absolutely no fucking reason, both of them were too caught up banging each other into oblivion on their honeymoon to actually remember to file the paperwork for their marriage. It's lucky they're both so pretty because they've got fuck all else going for them.