My Best Friends Brother

Chapter 29

JOSH’S P.O.V.

Liam hadn’t let go of me since I picked him up, even driving over to Aleah’s place I had to lean into the backseat so he could have his hand in mine. I knew he’d miss me but I didn’t expect it to be this bad.

The moment I stop the car his seatbelt is off and he’s in my lap with his whole tiny body tucked into me.

“Little man, is everything okay?” Even when I’ve had to go away for business trips before, he’s never been this clingy when I got back. He seems smaller somehow too, he’s always been on the skinny side but he looks like he hasn’t been eating properly. Not that Chrissy would notice if he didn’t fucking eat, most of the time he’s the one that has to remind her to feed him.

He nods his little head against my chest but doesn’t loosen his grip on me an inch.

“Liam? You know you can tell me, are those boys at school being mean again? Because I can come talk to your teacher.”

He shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything. I’m not sure how often those boys get near him since last time. He was getting bullied horrendously last year so his teacher this year arranged for him to stay inside on playtime and lunch so he could read his books in peace instead, he would pick a book or a screen over a swing-set any day.

There’s a little boy in his class this year who’s non-verbal, they’ve become the closest thing either of them have to a friend there and they seem happy in their little bubble of quiet instead of out with all the other kids.

“Do grown-ups hurt children?”

What the fuck? Where the hell did that come from? His timid tiny voice breaks so hard I can tell it’s something that seems to be weighing on him.

“What makes you ask that little man?”

His limbs are quivering, I know it’s cold out but inside this car it’s warm. He’s just terrified.

“Do bad men really hurt people? Even if they’re little?”

Fuck. Okay, don’t want to scare the kid but can’t exactly tell him everyone he meets is a nice person either.

I stroke the hair back from his eyes, he’s hardly got them open with the way it keeps falling in the way, he needs it cut again. He doesn’t notice, his entire energy seems to be focused on the beating of my heart against his ear right now.

“Okay, yes the world has good people and bad people, but there’s a lot more good people than bad. Sometimes the bad people do hurt children but then they go to prison and get hurt in there by people much bigger than them.. Did someone hurt you Liam?”

I swear to fuck if that fucking woman has laid a hand on him I’m going to see the bitch burn.

“No. Nobody, Mum just said...”

“Mum said what? Did she say she’d hurt you?”

He sits up straight now, shaking his head and looking slightly horrified by the suggestion. Chrissy is a lot of things but I’m not sure physical violence is something she’s really capable of.

“No. She just said that you should stay away from bad men because they’ll hurt you.”

I think he’s confused here.

“She probably meant like strangers Liam, but you don’t need to be afraid. Nothing is going to happen to you while I’m with you, okay? Brothers look after each other, always. I won’t let anything happen to you. Okay?”

He seems to settle slightly but I’m gonna have to talk to the she-devil later about what she says to him. She knows how scared he gets, once he didn’t sleep for a month because of an episode of the bloody Simpsons. She needs to be more careful.

I manage to get out of the car eventually, placing him down on the floor as we make our way to the front door. Just as we were about to knock it’s pulled open, Jayce standing there rocking baby Chase in one arm but his other one still in the sling. Guess physio still has some work to do with him.

Liam’s hand on mine tenses for a second, but as Jayce smiles at him he relaxes again. I know he’s on edge but he will be better once he starts playing with Heather, she’s a bit of a wild one but she’s also the only kid I know that is patient enough to play with him.

“Hey dude, Heather’s waiting for you in the lounge. She’s got Monsters Inc set up and all ready to go.”

Liam smiles up at me, she knows it’s his favourite. As we walk inside we’re met with cackling laughter, Brie and Al walking into the hall with a tray full of food neither of them should be able to eat and look the way they do. No wonder so many women in this town seem to hate them.

Brie smiles at Liam through her mouthful of pop tart but he freezes at the sight of her.

“Bitching balcony now, I want the lowdown on your week. Hey little man, cute shirt.”

Brie doesn’t seem to notice that this little boy didn’t even acknowledge her, he’s just watching her walking through the house and up the stairs avidly. What the fuck is going on?

Jayce seems to notice it too, Aleah takes Chase from his arms and follows Brie up the stairs but Jayce just glances from me to Liam and back again.

“Liam, you okay? It’s just Brie, I know she’s loud but I lost the remote to her years ago so unfortunately I can’t turn her volume down. Trust me, I’ve tried.” Liam smiles sheepishly at Jayce’s joke but I can see he’s still off.

“Is Steve here?” Every word he speaks seems to cause him to shake harder. What is he afraid of? It can’t be Steve or Brie personally, neither of them are capable of hurting him.

I squeeze his hand to give him reassurance, I might need to look into him seeing someone about this anxiety.

“No mate sorry, he’ll still be in work.” Liam nods but still scans the room like someone is going to jump out at him any second. “Do you want me to walk you over to where Heather is?”

He nods again so both me and Jayce walk with him to the living room. Heather is very much prepared for his visit, she’s got fluffy blankets on the floor with pillows, the movie paused and all her books and games spread across the rugs. Liam finally let’s go of my hand when he sees her, rushing over and plopping down on one of the pillows.

He doesn’t say hello but she doesn’t seem to mind, tucking him in with a blanket like the little mama bear she is. She’s only gotten worse since they’ve had Chase – I think sometimes she considers herself mum more than sister to that baby. Not that I can say anything with how I feel about Liam. I’ve always seen him as more of a son than a brother, I know he’s not mine but the protection I feel towards him... It’s paternal.

“That was off. When he was here this week with Steve and Brie they were really happy, him and Heather were over there having movies one night and they all fell asleep on the couch, he woke up and I’d never seen the kid talk so much. He was so comfortable with them, what happened?”

Looking at Liam now he seems settled again, maybe he just had a bad day at school and needed to be somewhere safe to calm down.

Jayce gestures for me to follow him to the kitchen, grabbing a coke out of the fridge and handing it to me.

“How was the camp? Have to pull Eli off any cheerleaders? He makes us look like saints right..”

He ain’t wrong. I’d almost managed to go a whole twenty minutes without thinking about that trip then, without thinking about that fucking kiss...

Of course I can’t tell him the truth, I can’t tell him that the trip was fucking incredible because last night I spent every minute I could with his fucking gorgeous brother who seems to make my heart stop just by looking at me. I can’t tell him that right now I feel better than I have for years, yet still fucking terrified. I can’t tell him that all I really want to do is drive ten blocks back to that Manor and take that same man home with me. I can’t tell him any of that, so instead I say-

“It was fine. Eli is a machine, and you’re never asking me for another favour again. How’s the shoulder?”

Jayce chuckles before returning to empty the dishwasher, just as Bries foot starts pounding the ceiling above our heads.

“It’s okay, always knew this would happen again just didn’t think it would be so soon. We’re getting there, rehabbing is a bitch though... They’re waiting for you. I’ve got Liam, you’re good.”

Jayce’s shoulder has been a problem for years but I know he’s scared that one of these times he won’t come back from it. After he was shot there were so many people who said he’d never play again, he had so many surgeries and so much rehab. He had to captain the school team from the side-lines for months but he got there. It was solid for a few years but now it’s not great. Him and Al have been discussing other options for him if this keeps happening, like coaching or something, but I think it would kill him to be off the court permanently. It’s just who he is.

Making my way into the living room, I kiss Liam on the top of his head and tell him I’m just a shout away if he needs me. He’s happier now, this movie always makes him chill.

The bitching balcony, a Brie creation. When she was living here I used to come over for breakfast, we’d all eat on the balcony in Aleah’s bedroom looking out over the whole town and those girls would bitch about everything; their bosses, Brie’s therapist, Aleah’s lack of a social life, me and my inability to get some. It became a tradition.

Now it’s more about us trying to find five minutes in our busy schedule to even be together.

This house is so beautiful now, they’ve done so much hard work to get it this way but it was worth it. They’ve really built a home.

I could probably afford something like this, but what’s the point? It’s just me, it’s always just me... The place I have now still feels like I’m crashing at Steve’s house, even though I’ve spent most of my adult life in Westbrooke living there.

When he went to Germany I stayed there, but I didn’t change so much as the throw cushions. When I went away he moved back in and kept the place, even though he was only popping back there once a month because him and Brie were basically living together. After they got engaged they made the choice to live permanently at the place she bought from Cole. So Steve let me have his place when I moved back here.

Now I’ve changed what used to be his bedroom into a gym but otherwise it’s still the same. It’s not the kind of home I imagined living in by the time I was thirty. Most of the guys I know want penthouse suites in the middle of the business district but I can’t imagine anything worse.

In my head I’m by the water, one of those beach front places with a long dock that runs right out into the sea. I’d be able to have coffee every morning looking out at it, my kids and Liam running on the sand. I can’t cook for shit so I’d need to marry some guy that can make a decent pancake to go with it.

That’s the life in my head anyway. It’s just so far from the reality I find myself in.

The balcony doors are wide open, Brie and Al sitting on the white wire bistro set wrapped in their warm furry coats.

“Bitch! You survived the teenagers! Come sit in my fur.” She opens her coat but like fuck am I doing that, last time I got drunk and sat on her she tried to teach me how to do a lap dance, then let me fall off.

Kissing both their heads first, the fact Aleah is wolfing down chips like they’re a finite resource isn’t lost on me. She’s knocked up again. Brie catches me glancing at Al’s stomach and gives me the little eyebrow wiggle. We figured it out before she told us with Chase too, but neither of us are going to say anything. These pair have two angel babies, we know it makes them more cautious to tell people before they know everything is safe so we won’t push it.

“Please tell me that’s fake.” I gesture to her coat, sitting down in the seat that’s too fucking small for a guy my size.

She runs her long elegant fingers through the thick bristly fur.

“One hundred percent nylon baby. You know I love animals.”

Me and Al scoff at the same time. “Brie, you hate animals.”

“That’s because they shit everywhere! They’re worst than fucking kids. Doesn’t mean I want to skin the fuckers! Anyway, what’s the gossip? Who was banging who? Heard Milo broke up with that bubble butt girl.. Give us something!”

Aleah laughs. “Zoe, pretty sure her name’s Zoe. She’s a nice girl, only met her once though. You know what that boy is like, never let’s any of us know what’s going on with him.”

Yeah, I can’t have this conversation with them, I feel shit enough for lying already.

“No news. Boys played well, Coach was happy. What about here?”

Brie rolls her eyes, picking up another doughnut from the tray and throwing it at me before taking a bite of her own.

“One of my clients had his sex tape leaked.”

Okay, this doughnut is now truly lodged in my throat. After coughing my guts up they both manage to stop laughing at me.

“Shit Brie, I’m sorry. Is he okay?”

She starts to laugh all over again. “Is he okay? He’s fucking thrilled. His ex had been threatening him with it so we went all Kim K and published it first. He looks like a damn beast in the thing so I knew he’d be fine, he’s getting so many offers at the moment I’ve had to add another one of the girls to his file to handle them.”

Only Brie would see a sex tape as a bloody good thing. To be fair, she’s probably got a library of her own ones. Oh fuck, let’s remove the image if her and my brother making their big screen debut from my head really quickly is it.

“How’s Chase? Still colicky?”

Aleah nods, setting down the empty bag of chips and immediately picking up another.

“Yeah, and he’s not sleeping great. He’s the opposite of Heather as a baby, you didn’t even know she was here but he makes sure you never forget him. I’m trying to transition him into his own room before the ba-” Baby comes? She realises she’s fucked up but quickly pulls it back and continues to chat shit while me and Brie just give each other that look we always do when she’s lying. For someone who reads people for a living, she’s crap at making up believable bullshit.

“..Yeah, then the racoon flew out the window. Crazy story right, I mean, who knew racoons could use paper aeroplanes? Not me.. no no.. Um yeah, so, um, camp?” Fuck, they’re not going to let this go are they.. “Was Milo okay? Did he talk to the scouts?”

For fucks sake. I can’t talk about him with these two, it’s fucking weird. I honestly don’t know how they’d take it if I did tell them, and I definitely don’t want to fucking out the guy when he’s not even had time to figure shit out for himself.

He told me to call him, right after he ran out of that fucking house and kissed me again. Anyone could’ve fucking seen us but I was still so fucking happy to have his lips against me. When do I do call him? Today? Tomorrow? Or was it an out I should take, a way to end this before it begins.

I don’t want to do that, all I’ve fucking thought about is him since I left him there. I’m not sure where we go from here but I know I can’t just pretend he doesn’t make me feel things I never thought I would again.

“Josh, did you hear... Wait.” Brie grabs hold of my chin, ripping me from my thoughts and pulling my whole face towards her. Those acrylic fucking nails of hers are so long they’re practically touching my lips, how does she even get anything done with those things? “Holy shit. You’ve got puppy eyes... You met someone!”

Oh fuck...

Damn it Brie! I freeze. My whole body fucking solid as she stares endlessly into my eyes before forcing my head so fast to face Aleah I’m pretty sure I’m going to get whiplash.

“Ow!”

Aleah doesn’t care about my cries of pain, she just looks at me in that same way she always does, like she’s flipping through the pages of my book to find the answers. A huge smile spreads on her face as Brie finally loosens her grasp on me.

“Fuck. Oh my god Josh, you met someone! Tell us, oh Holy Jesus it’s about fucking time. Who is he?”

For fucks sake. How do these girls always know fucking everything?! No-one can get shit passed them. If either of their men ever have an affair, they’re fucked.

My head slams down on the cold metal wire of the table, making the whole thing creak under the weight of me as I try to breathe through the commotion in my head. They’re not going to let this go Josh, you have to give them something.

Shit. I can see my breath coming out in white puffs from my mouth as I stare down over the edge of the table towards the floor. Now or fucking never.

“I met someone.”

You’d swear I’d just told them I’d found the cure for cancer with the way they’re reacting. There’s clapping, one of the fuckers is hugging me, they’re going to make this balcony fall off the fucking house if they keep jumping like that and I don’t know which one of them just shouted hallelujah but that’s fucking insulting. Is it that much of a miracle?

“Josh! Why the fuck didn’t you tell us earlier? Who is he? What’s his name? Oh shit, is it a student?”

“Teacher?”

“One of the dads? Because that’s hot.”

“Is he tall? I bet he’s tall right?”

“Oh and dark, definitely tall dark and handsome. ”

“Josh? Oh crap, is it Coach? Because he always kind of given me that experimental vibe and Elizabeth seems like a very understanding woma-”

Some days I’m not against the idea of Clarisse shooting her...

“Jesus Christ Brie! It’s not Coach!” I pull my head up from the table, still feeling the indent of the pattern from it on my forehead. I really need them to stop now, I’m not ready for this. “Look, I can’t tell you a lot right now. It’s still fucking early and I don’t know what’s going or not going to happen. He’s... fuck, he’s amazing. He’s not out though and I’m not going to push that so for now that’s all you two are getting. Can we talk about anything else, please?”

Aleah smiles sympathetically,  reaching across the table and taking my hand. She of all people should understand what it’s like to not be ready to tell the world about the man you care for. “Sorry babe, we’re just so happy for you. You’ve deserved to find someone for so long, we’d kind of given up hope you’d let it happen. If that’s all you can tell us then that’s fine okay? But when you’re ready we’re here to listen, and we really want to meet him when you’re both up for it.”

Brie nods, resting her head down over our connected hands and staring up at me. “She’s right babe, we just love you so much, we want to see you happy. Just be careful if he’s not out, I don’t want you putting yourself back in the closet to make some guy feel better, you’ve come too far for that.”

If only she knew that him not knowing what he is, is the least of our fucking problems. A part of me just wants to fucking tell them, they’re my best fucking mates, but that’s not just my decision to make.

“I love you both too, you know that. When we know what the fuck we’re doing, I’ll tell you. Okay?”

They both mean so much me to me, I won’t keep it from them forever.

“Okay.” Brie leans back up in her chair, sipping her Tango with a worrying smirk on her face. “Can I just ask you one thing then I’ll drop it?”

I’m going to regret this aren’t I?

“Sure.”

That smirk just spreads, she’s the embodiment of every lovable Disney villain right now.

“Did you wait to get in the showers to fuck or did you just do it right there on the court?”

This fucking girl.

A high-pitched, bone chilling scream pierces through our laughter from downstairs. All three of us racing for the stairs as the screams only increase. My blood runs cold, I know exactly who that is.

Liam.

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