My Best Friends Brother

Chapter 110

MILO’S P.O.V.

The cold air hits against my face until I finally feel like I can breathe again, the sky really is so fucking clear tonight. I glance back in through the doors of the balcony, Josh just throwing on his shorts and my fucking hoodie after getting out of the shower.

He thinks I haven’t noticed that he’s been trying to take that thing away from me for the entire weekend, but I actually like it on him better than I like it on me anyway. He can have it.. but he’s not having the grey one. That one is my damn favourite and I can see him eyeing it up already.

There was something off with him earlier, after Jayce asked me about college I could see that he was running my words around and around in his head. I know he doesn’t want me to factor him into my decisions but it's not that easy anymore.

Of course everything became a whole lot lighter downstairs after Brie and Charlie decided that they were going to recreate the lift from Dirty Dancing,  but both ended up colliding with each other full force before actually having the conversation about which one of them was going to do the fucking jump.

Brie is a lot stronger than she looks.

They actually got a lot better at it after Brie’s third attempt at playing Swayze and the two of them halfway through a bottle of tequila. Why Steve and Han allowed them to talk them into going to a club tonight is beyond me, as their husband and future husband they should be better aware of what this means for them. They are going to be taking care of those two weirdos all fucking night. Josh put money on them coming home already passed out but my bet is still on us having to pick them both up from the cells in the morning.

Lee was beyond exhausted tonight, she's trying to hide it but these early months of pregnancy always take it out of her. The stress and worry about losing another baby along with the whole growing a life thing is definitely going to take its toll. I could see deep down she really wanted to go with the four of them to the club but she could hardly keep her eyes open.

I appreciate everything she’s said today. It definitely hurt when she basically flinched when I came near her after she saw me with Josh, but the way she’s looked at me all night... My sister has my back again. I know it.

When Josh brought Liam up to bed I stayed with May for a bit, but I could see she was exhausted as well. She has never been particularly bothered by change, she’s a chameleon that could blend in wherever she goes, but I do think she gets homesick whether she likes to admit it or not.

She hasn’t been sleeping well, I asked her if she wanted me to crash in her and Heathers room tonight but she said she was good. Whatever it is hasn’t affected that quick tongue of hers though, when Brie asked if her outfit was good for the club, that girl didn’t hesitate to let her know that she looked like a five dollar hooker that couldn't afford the rest of her skirt.

Brie of course took this as the ultimate compliment.

Josh slips out through the doors, not closing them completely so he can still hear Liam if he wakes up, before slotting himself in next to me and throwing one of my hoodies around my shoulders. He’s so fucking cute.

“You know that I don’t feel the cold in my bones at my age as much as you do at yours, right?” He digs his elbow straight into the side of my ribs, making me jump back with giggles. I really hate that he knows about this fucking weakness.

Slipping my hands into the hoodie, I let the warm fabric brush against my skin, the scent of him overwhelming me until I realised that this isn’t even fucking mine. At this point he might as well just tattoo his name on my neck for the world to see, he really likes to mark his fucking territory.

I fucking love it.

His arms circle around my waist, his chest to my back as he places his lips down onto the nape of my neck. The beautiful view before me is lost as my eyes fall shut, every time he touches me he’s the only thing I feel.

“Miles, can we talk about what you said earlier?” He kisses my neck again, the arms he has wrapped around me pulling me in even closer as he holds my body to his. “I want you to go to whatever college you want to go to, I don’t want you making decisions based on what's happening between us. You could go to college on the other side of the world and it wouldn’t change anything for me. I’d still be here, you said before that we’d make it work and I know that we can.”

I know what I said, and I meant it, but that isn’t all that’s going on here anymore.

I twist in his hold, my back meeting the cold hard metal of the balcony railings so that I stand facing him completely, his arms never loosening their clutch on my body.

“Josh, I’m not going to stand here and tell you that it has nothing to do with what’s happening between us, but it's not the way you think. One of the reasons I really wanted to go to LSU was to get away from this place, I didn’t feel like I had anything keeping me here. Now I do.” I don’t need to run anymore.

“Miles...” I quickly slam my hand over his mouth, his eyebrows raising at me but I just smirk in response.

“Just let me finish before you say anything, okay?” He nods and I slowly release his mouth from behind my hand, basking in the feeling of his lips that still feel like they sit on my skin. “It's not just you keeping me here. May is struggling already and I haven’t even left yet, Lee is having another baby and being in college six hours away means I’ll watch them grow up through a screen. Then there’s Liam, He’s-”

“Liam will be...” Josh closes his lips tightly when I glare at him, he really just can’t follow a simple set of instructions can he? I’ll make sure he learns that... later.

“Liam has become really important to me and I don’t want to be someone that just flips in and out of his life when I’m on break. I have a lot of reasons to stay closer to home now, things I didn’t realise I had before. I’m not saying I won’t go, I haven’t made any decisions, I’m just saying that my desire to get as far away from Westbrook as physically possible is no longer a contributing factor to those decision. I’m going to decide where I go based on where I think will make me happiest, not just where will get me away. Is that okay?”

He’s definitely still unsure but the reality of the situation is that it’s not his choice. Sometimes things change, your dreams and your goals change. A year ago all I wanted was to get into a college that would keep me from having to come home, although I’d spoken about LSU since I was a kid, I probably would have taken a scholarship in Timbuktu if it was offered to me back then.

Now my priorities are different, I’m just open to other options.

Wherever I go I’ll still play ball, I’ll still get seen and I’ll still get drafted. The end of my journey will still be the same, I might just take a different road to get there.

“It’s your life Miles, I’m obviously not going to tell you what to do with it, I just need you to make a choice based on what you truly believe is best for you. Nothing else. I don’t want something stupid like me, or living at your mums, to be the reason you pick somewhere you don't really want to go.” He looks at me like I’m something so precious, that sense of protection I feel over him is so obviously mirrored in his own eyes towards me.

“Have you ever had to live with my mother? Trust me, it’s impossible not to take that into consideration when making a decision.” I joke, leaning forward and kissing the side of his jaw. The arms he has wrapped around me tighten as I move to place my lips back down against the side of his neck. “Even if I went to LSU I’d still be home for like four months of the year, maybe I should think about going to London with Eli instead.”

I’m kidding, but the way his arms instinctively start to hold me closer at the thought of me being so far away is seriously fucking sweet. I didn’t know it was possible to cherish one person as much as I do him.

“Don’t joke about that.” He buries his face into the side of my neck, I wait for his lips but instead he just breathes me in deeply. He might not want me to take him into consideration but he can't hide the fact that the thought of me going so far from him is something that he doesn’t truly want, even if he would accept it without complaint.

I don’t want to be away from him either, if I decide to go then I desperately want to take him with me but I know I can’t. Liam is here, nothing on earth would ever make me take him away from that boy. Them being together is the most important thing in the world for me.

“I’m kidding, kind of. I guess I’ll just have to stay at your place whenever I get back here.” I can feel him smiling against my skin, his lips finally making contact.

“Promise to keep making blueberry pancakes every morning and you can pack your bags to move in right now.”

Waking up every morning, his face the first thing that I see, getting to fall asleep in his arms every night. He really shouldn’t make such a tempting offer, I might just take him up on it.

I pull his head up from my neck, holding it in both hands and placing it against mine. I don’t want him to worry about any of this, it's so far away from where we are right now. All I want him thinking about is me, the way I can’t stop thinking about him.

“Wherever I end up, I know it won’t change anything. College is like three years, I plan on having you for a fuck-ton longer than that. In twenty years from now when we’re standing on a balcony somewhere with a whole lifetime of memories behind us and another lifetime of them to look forward to, it really won’t matter where I played ball in college. It will be such an insignificant part of my life in comparison with the role that you play.” We've hardly spoken about our future, both of us so content in the present, but the more time I spend with him the more I can’t stop picturing it.

He’s the only person I’ve ever been with that makes me want to dream of my life beyond this moment. I keep imagining our house, the one he wants by the beach. I can see the weathering blue paint and the golden Labrador sitting on the living room floor basking in the sun. I can hear him laughing, I can hear the kids laughing too.

I have this perfect vision of myself, standing on the deck holding my coffee and watching him bring the kids back in from playing on the sand to eat their breakfast, Liam chasing after the one that's desperately trying to getaway for five more minutes of fun.

When he closes his eyes... When he lets every thought he’s always been too afraid to materialise appear in his mind... Am I there? Can he see me smiling back at him, knowing I made the best fucking decision of my life when I ran from that dance. Realising with absolute certainty that I had to kiss him, starting the ripple that would grow into the tidal wave, eventually crashing to create the life that both of us so desperately want and need.

Gently, I guide him backwards until we reach the lounger, pushing him down onto the edge before I slide in behind him and pull him back onto my chest. We both just lay there, his heart pulsating through his back against my body, a blanket of darkness and acceptance shielding us from the rest of the world.

This man is my future, my destiny. I know it. I can’t explain how... I just do.

He pulls my arms around him, a perfect moment where we are just too guys on a balcony unable to control their feelings any longer. Just like before.

Bringing my wrist to his mouth, he kisses the delicate skin, hardly moving before adding another kiss. This man, this fucking man has become more to me than I ever thought one person could possibly be. The way I feel when I’m around him can’t be put into words, it’s like when he's hurt I want to be the coat of armour that protects him from the pain. When he’s happy, I want to be there to soak in every ounce of the light that radiates from his laughter.

I want to be his protector. I want to be his support. I want to be the person he can always rely on to be there. I want to be his stars. I want to be...  his.

The sky isn’t just clear tonight, it's almost mystical. Like the heavens themselves are piercing through the blackness to encourage the stars to shine more brightly. I could pluck one out for him they’re so close, just laying right here with his body against mine and present him with a glowing ball of energy that is nothing in comparison with the light he fills me with. I could visit every planet in this solar system, sail amongst the stars for eternity and still not feel the sense of satisfaction I get from having my arms around him.

I have to ask him.

“Josh will –”

“Oh shit, look at that.” He sits up quickly, pulling me with him as he points up into the sky. “Can you see it?” I take my eyes away from him finally, my heart still racing from the question that almost left my lips as I follow his hand to where amongst the sky he’s pointing.

Oh my God.

My erratic heart rate skyrockets, my heart desperate to break free from my chest as I look up into the eternal abyss.

A shooting star.

When two souls that are supposed to coalesce finally find their way together, the powers that be will let a star fall to celebrate their destined union...

That one is ours.

Quickly, I grab his hips and force him to twist completely until he faces me. He’s still trying to stare back at the sky but even that vision of excellence bares no identification with what it's like to look at him right now.

“Josh,” He brings his eyes from the cosmos, facing me and smiling before leaning forward to kiss my lips. I can’t let that star hit the ground before I make him mine.

I pull back from the kiss, smiling when he does, but my arms are fucking quivering with nerves I’ve never felt.

Maybe it’s too soon, maybe he doesn't want he label on things... but I fucking do.

“Josh, I have to ask you something.”

He nods, moving to rest his head against mine and pulling me in until we rest with our bodies connected at almost every point, his legs either side of my hips and mine wrapped around him.

“I have to ask you something too Miles.”

Me first.

My hands are shaking so much that I can hardly hold onto his body, my breath is getting caught in my throat every time I try to let the words out and I think he can tell because he can't seem to control his own breathing.

I move my hands up, guiding them from his waist and over his chest until they sit either side of his neck, him doing exactly the same thing to me until we are both holding ourselves together in an equal embrace.

“Josh...”

“Miles...”

“Will you be mine?”

Both of us don’t know whether to laugh or cry when the identical words spill from our tongues in unison.

Damn fucking right I will be.

I immediately slam my lips down onto his, I thought I was fucking shaking like crazy but now that I’m able to breathe I can feel just how bad his vibrations are. What the fuck did he have to be so scared about? He knows I’ve wanted this practically my entire life.

I’ve wanted him.

He kisses me back, slow and soft just like he did the night we fell asleep next to each other with our hands still linked until morning. He keeps trying to pull away like he wants to say something but I don’t let him, I just need to kiss him for a little bit longer.

Our lips merge, I wrap my legs around his waist just to pull him in closer as his hands move into my hair and begin to run through it as he tries to absorb as much of my body as he can.

Mine. He wants to be fucking mine.

Josh, I actually fucking got him.

The eruption in my stomach at the daunting and euphoric conclusion that the person I’ve wanted for as long as I was able to feel this way, actually wants me back just as much...

It’s not a dream. It’s not a hope. It’s a wish upon a star that's come true.

“Is that a yes?” He gasps with a chuckle as I finally let him away from me for some much needed air. “I get to call you mine?”

When will he realise... 

“I always have been.”

This time it’s him that refuses to let me breathe. Every emotion he has in him being filtered out of his lips directly onto mine, all the happiness and all the fear he’s felt being sealed away within my own body with his kiss.

It’s everything I've wanted. He is everything I've wanted.

His hands fall to the bottom of my back, slipping under my hoodie and brushing his cold skin against my heated surface. His hands are always colder than mine even though the rest of his body is so fucking warm, it's makes his touch so soothing, a touch I never have to give up again.

He slips them down further, grabbing my ass and yanking me forward until I’m sitting in his lap with our lips still firmly connected. I’m usually the one to have him in this position but I’ll give it to him this one time.

How did kissing him get even better? It was already fucking perfect but now he’s my... Everything just seems so much more intense.

I never let my hands fall from his head, keeping him held against me and refusing to relent this kiss. I wish he could know what he means to me, I feel like when I try to say it with my words it’s still not enough. I want him to feel it, I want to tear my heart out of my chest and shove it into his so that he can have the sense of what it feels like to carry this much fucking love for him.

Love.

This is it isn’t it? This unexplainable, incomparable feeling. This mind filling, heart wrenching, body spending, overwhelming, ‘scream at from the rooftops and let the world know’ emotion.

It’s more then every heart breaking love song says it is. More than any poem, more than any love scene, more than any passage in a perfectly written book.

It’s so much fucking more...

Joshua Jones...  You fucking did it...

I’m in love with you.

Please remember to vote and comment beauts ❤😍📖