Chapter 234

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He loves me.

He still fucking loves me.

I try to lower a soft kiss onto his lips but mine are shaking so fucking much. He doesn't give a fuck, his own trembling as he keeps us held together through it all. I need to breathe, I need to fucking tell him the words without them making me break.

My breath catches in my throat as I try to pull back my sobs and steady myself...

These words;

Words that made us,

Words that ended us,

Words that have only belonged from my lips to one person.

Because Joshua Jones...

"You are my stars."

Josh buckles, everything he didn't even know he was holding in pouring out of him as he holds my head in both hands and brings us back to the kiss.

He knows that I love him, he knows that I never stopped. Those four words mean more to both of us than anything else ever could.

Josh weaves his hands into my hair as we pull apart, almost being able to wrap his fist in it as he gently guides me off him and onto my side. My arm stays around his body as he twists so that his back is pressed against my chest and my lips are on the side of his neck.

We feel asleep in this position almost every night, it feels right to have him back here, where he belongs.

There's no curtains in the house yet, so the double doors that lead out onto the balcony beyond the bedroom let in every ounce of moonlight as I begin to suck on his neck, placing my fingers into his mouth for him to do the same.

He devours them, drenching them with affection as he grinds himself back up against me and I feel our bodies' desperation to connect.

I slip them out of his mouth, bringing them down between us and pressing them between his cheeks, feeling his breath hitch and body vibrate as I stroke over his little awaiting opening.

"Josh, can I-"

"I want you Miles. I have to fucking be with you..." He whispers as his lips press against my arm. "Just go easy on me... it's been a long fucking time."

It's been a... but he was with...

Holy shit.

Pressing my other hand underneath his head, I twist it back to face me so I can look into his eyes.

"You and Xade... you didn't..." Josh shakes his head, so much honesty in his body that I don't doubt it at all, but it just flares up something inside of me that I can't explain.

I never expected for a minute... I just assumed.

He fucking... He's mine.

"I couldn't... I just couldn't."

Oh my stars...

My lips magnetise to his as I slip my digits inside him, feeling him bite down sharply on my bottom one as the memory and reminder of what this feels like hits him with force. His legs shake as I slowly start to explore him, keeping my lips in motion against his own and adding more pressure within him every time I feel him growing accustomed to the last until I'm stretching him completely.

Fuck... the feeling of him quivering because of me... it's fucking mind-blowing.

What were once the whimpers of pain with pleasure quickly become moans of only one. Turning into full cries of pleading desire when I begin to stroke over his most pleasing area. I try to go slow, try to let him know at every point that if he changes his mind it's okay, but then he looks at me and any thoughts that this may be too much for him disappear in a fucking instant.

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