Chapter 147

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I used to really look forward to these family barbecues, right now standing outside the Manor I can’t imagine that this is going to be the joyful occasion that they used to be.

Even though Liam has been staying over here after school with Heather, I haven’t actually had to take a step inside the place, Miles would always just bring him out to the car so that he could keep me away from Tara and Cole.

I know that they are both okay with us now, well at least Cole is and I think Tara is trying her best, but neither of us have wanted to rub it in their faces.

Al of course was having absolutely fucking none of this, deciding to move the barbeque from her place to the Manor this month just so that we all have to be in the same house together. She’s pushy like that but we all still love her.

A part of me feels like maybe it’s just another way for her to punish Jayce. I’m pretty sure that her and Heather are still giving him shit, I think part of this is guilt for not giving him enough crap that time he shoved Milo on the court too, so he's finally getting the full lashing of her wrath along with all her pregnancy hormones.

I almost feel sorry for the guy... Almost.

Liam holds my hand as we walk towards the front door, anxiety running all over my body. This is pretty much our couple coming out party.

Miles swings it open before we even get to the top step, smiling brightly like he didn't just see us both last night.

Why does it feel like I haven’t seen him for months when it’s been less than a day? I just want to have my lips against his and never let go.

It was weird to sleep without him again, we've been together every minute for the last three days, unfortunately not because of an actual choice but because Tara refused to let Miles back into the house while he was still contaminated...

*Flashback- Three days ago*

The worst part about having a kid live with you who’s still in school; they’re basically little bug producing machines that carry fucking bacteria everywhere they go.

What we thought was maybe a little cough for Liam turned out to be the start of full blown flu, a gift he so kindly decided to share with both me and Miles, and the reason that all three of us haven't left my fucking bed in the last twenty-four hours.

“I’m thirsty. Go make me some tea?” Miles asks in a voice so croaky it’s like he's just finished smoking his seventh pack of cigars today. He looks really cute with his sore red nose and his sleepy little eyes, but even all that sweetness couldn’t make me get up and move my fucking limbs right now, I feel like my legs are encased in cement.

“I made the last lot, you should be making me some now... Brie said she would be over with soup soon, let's just wait for her to do it.” Liam shuffles uncomfortably, he's actually been coping the best out of the three of us but I think it’s because he’s the fucking carrier. Patient fucking zero.

He rests his little head against my arm and I feel so sick that it gives me the same sensation as being crushed by a fucking bulldozer. Not that it would actually make me move him, but if he forces me to watch another episode of fucking nineties Power Rangers I’m going to throw myself out a window and just get it fucking over with.

I’m done with life right now.

Fine. I’m not good when I’m sick. Fucking sue me.

The front door shutting downstairs is one of the most pleasant noises I’ve ever been graced with listening too, all three of our heads facing towards the bedroom door as we wait for Brie to bring us the food that we are all too weak to get up and bring ourselves. Her footsteps sound heavier than usual as she makes her way up the stairs, although nothing could have prepared me for the image when she swings open the door.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

“Jesus Christ Brianna, where the hell did you get a hazmat suit?!”

More importantly, how the fuck did she fit all that hair inside that fucking helmet?

Is she seriously wearing fucking heels under that?!

“Charlie, him and Han like to do doomsday role play.”

Of course they fucking do... I really could have lived my entire fucking life quite happily without knowing that information.

“Don’t worry, he promised that he washed it first. Like fuck was I coming in here unprepared, you know I don’t do sick.”

She’s not wrong, once when I had food poisoning in college she walked into my room and threw three of Granny’s crosses at me before she runaway screaming that I should ask Jesus to fucking heal me.

Brianna’s version of caring was never going to win her any peace prizes. She wasn’t exactly born to be nun material, she's not got the patience to help the sick and she sure as fuck wouldn't stick with that celibacy thing.

Brie lowers the tray with three bowls of soup onto the bed, mine and Miles’ looking pretty fucking basic but the one she’s made for Liam has little star pasta shapes in it, she’s even cut the crusts off his fucking sandwiches.

I remember the days when I used to be her favourite.

“Do you fuckers need anything else? I’d rather not breathe the same air as you where possible. Steve is doing the next run so he'll come check on you guys later, but I’ve told him if he brings this shit back with him then I will leave him at the fucking altar.”

I have absolutely no doubts that she’s serious, this girl is all about a good revenge plot.

Brie makes us all drinks before hurrying out of the house, the three of us settling in for another episode of SpongeBob and all gently falling asleep like we have been on and off all day.

When I open my eyes again it's almost pitch black in the room, the TV off but the curtains still wide open. I get up to close them before the moonlight can wake the others, my body feeling slightly less heavy after a good couple of hours rest, but when I turn back to look at the bed the weight in my heart lifts entirely.

Miles laying on his back, arm draped across his eyes with Liam wrapped tightly around his torso. Both their chest’s rising and falling in the same slow rhythmic pattern as my boyfriend gently holds his hand against Liam’s back to make sure he doesn't roll away.

Fuck, they are the fucking cutest pair.

Liam’s smiling in his sleep, resting peacefully. I bet Miles was singing to him again, he started doing it when Liam first came here and now I’m sure the kid can only sleep if Miles sings to him before bed. They’ve become such an integral part of each others lives, it's hard not to imagine all of us together for the rest of them.

I know I shouldn’t think it, I shouldn’t let myself get overwhelmed with images of the future but it’s fucking impossible. Looking at that man I know what I want; I want him to be the father of my children, I want to build my entire fucking life with him, I want him standing next to me on the deck of our house... I want him to raise Liam with me.

It’s too much to ask, it's way too fucking much to ask someone who's still got so much of life that they haven't explored. I don’t want us to be the reason he feels he has to stay here, I don’t want him making those kinds of decisions with anything in his mind other then exactly what he wants from life.

But for now I can enjoy this, these perfect fucking moments on less than perfect days.

What more could I ever truly want?

I climb back into my side of the bed, embracing the chill that now coats the sheets and flipping my pillow before settling down. Liam senses my presence, turning slightly in his sleep so he still has one arm on Miles but the other one reaching out and pressing his hand against my heart. Draping my arm over his body, I make sure he’s safe and secure before leaning my hand against Miles’ hip so all three of us lay in a conjoined form of comfort and peace.

My perfect family.

*End of flashback*

“You look better showered.” Miles chuckles, watching Liam race straight past him as Heather waves emphaticly from the kitchen. He leans forward ready to kiss me but I pause instantly when Tara steps in to view behind him.

Um, am I allowed to do this?

Miles looks at me confused when I reach away before he can touch my lips, following my gaze and turning around to meet his mother’s eyes before looking back at me, looping his hand behind my head and slamming my lips down onto his.

He really doesn’t give a fuck does he?

“They have to get used to it Josh, we aren’t going anywhere and like fuck am I hiding you again.”

He’s right. I really fucking love his confidence, I wish I could have it all the time the way he does.

Tara doesn’t give a lot away on her face, bouncing baby Chase on her shoulder and smiling gently at me before walking back through to the kitchen. This is the first time that me and Miles are seeing everybody together since they all found out about us and I’m not entirely sure how some of the others are going to take it seeing us together like this.

Miles doesn’t seen to care, so why should I?

It's definitely going to rain, a part of me hoped they would just scrap off this entire barbecue but Al isn't going to let something like water get in her way. “You ready for this?” Miles asks with a hint of amusement, he's never been bothered by what anybody else had to say about us and I really admire that about him.

Liam and Heather come racing straight past as we attempt to walk into the living room, both of them with arms full of paints as they sprint into the backyard.

I’m beyond surprised to see Coach sitting there next to Elizabeth on the couch, he never comes to these things. He gives me a nod, not really paying too much attention to us before returning to his conversation with Cole. Miles slips his hand into mine when he realises that I’m not massively keen on walking in there with everybody right now, soothing me with his reassuring touch.

Almost every face smiles when they see us, almost every face, but definitely not the guy standing in the doorway on the other side of the room.

Jayce hardly even looks at me, dropping his vision down to our conjoined hands before turning his back on the room and walking out towards the yard. I get why he’s pissed, I really can, but he won’t even give me a chance to fucking talk to him and alleviate his fears.

Until he’s willing to listen there’s not really much point in trying, he's kind of thick headed and you'd need some kind of sledgehammer to get the fuck through that skull of his.

“Oh my darling, that little brother of yours is such a sweetheart! Brianna tells me he’s living with you now, if you ever need a babysitter then call me. What social worker have you got? I’m trying to talk this brute into letting us become foster carers when he retires but he’s got some stupid notion about us going around the country to watch bloody basketball games!” Coach pretends that he can’t hear his wife, even though that's impossible with how fucking loud she is and the fact she's sitting right next to him.

Miles pulls me over to the couch, Aleah shuffling up to make room for both of us next to her, and even offering me one of her chips. If there was ever a sign that she’s currently unhappy then it’s definitely her offering her snacks freely. I think she might be dying.

Me and Elizabeth get into a chat about Liam, Miles keeping his hand on my leg the entire time, something Elizabeth doesn’t miss as she keeps wiggling her little fucking eyebrows at me. All these people spend way too much time with Mrs fucking Thompson over there.

Cole doesn’t say too much, asking some questions about work but generally avoiding anything else. He’s happy for us, I know that, but he was never going to be jumping for joy to see us together in his house. I’m sure there are still some days where he wants to kill Jayce for being so close to his daughter.

Al shuffles uncomfortably, stretching out her legs across my thighs. She’s bigger this time than she was with Chase, there’s a definite bump there already. I lean down, resting my head close to her stomach so that the growing life inside of her can hear me.

“I heard what you did... traitor.” Miles chuckles, clearly pleased with himself that he’s managed to get another one of my fucking nieces or nephews on his side, but Al doesn’t so much as smile.

She definitely isn’t okay, I know she loves me and Miles but I also know she hates being at odds with her husband. I don’t want this shit coming between them, neither does he. I really appreciate her showing us loyalty here but it shouldn't come at the expense of her own family.

Brie notices too, both of us glancing over at the back of Jayce’s head as he sits out alone in the yard, me getting ready to get up and at least try to talk with him again but Brie just shakes her head at me before slipping out there herself.

“So, I hear you two have been together for a few months now right? Everything getting serious?” Elizabeth has always been one of those hopeless romantics, probably why her and Aleah are always reading those fucking books.

“Dead serious.” Miles answers before I get a chance, moving his hand up from my knee and slipping it into my own. I’m not surprised that there’s no judgement from Liz, she's always been the kind of person that's very accepting of even the most unusual set of circumstances. Just like her husband, and her son.

She smacks Coach on the back of the head when he doesn’t pay attention to her ramblings, the guy rolling his eyes and looking over at me and Miles like we can save him from this situation, but he signed on to love that woman for life about thirty years ago so he's long made his bed.

It’s funny, they're really opposite people but their relationship just works. Elizabeth is this ball of energy, someone that everyone who meets just gets on with even if she is a bit of a wild fire. She was the only mum that my mother could stand to talk to when she went to my games, she found all the other ones too stuck up, or in Tara’s case - too fucking pretty to be talking to around my father.

Coach is different, he's more stoic and reserved but still equally passionate in his own way. I think they’d make pretty great foster parents actually, they've got a lot to offer kids from a wide range of backgrounds. Plus they understand loss, they've lost more than most people can ever imagine.

Yet here they are, still making sure they are an active part of so many peoples lives in a world where others would have shut themselves away. They’re kind of incredible when you think about it.

Heather comes running through the room, almost landing in Miles’ lap as she loses her footing on the rug just before he catches her.

“Do you know if Auntie May is hiding brownies somewhere? I already checked in the breadstick box but there’s nothing there.” Miles laughs, clearly understanding why the fuck there would be brownies in a bread stick box.

“I don’t know pocket poppet, she's usually got a stash in her room somewhere but she isn't here so you shouldn't really go in there without her.” Heather nods, backing out of the room slowly and hiding around the corner of a pillar for everybody else to be distracted before racing up the stairs.

May is definitely going to kill her.

Miles looks over at me, resting his head against the back of the couch and running his thumb along the edge of my palm. I don’t know how he manages to make me feel like the rest of the world doesn’t exist when I’m looking into his eyes, but I really love it.

“See? I told you it would all be okay. Nothing bad is going to happen Josh, you need to stop worrying.”

He just had to go and fucking say it didn’t he.

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