Chapter 180

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I'm not sure that I want to know what Brie and Steve have planned for their Christmas night, all I know is that she took duct tape, a pencil sharpener and the last of the whipped cream with her when she left.

Josh, don't think about it too hard. The mental images will be enough to keep you soft for fucking days.

Although with the way that Cole is staring at me right now as I get to the stop of the staircase, I realise that may not be a terrible thing.

I look at Miles' bedroom door but some part of me doesn't want to walk in there with Cole looking at me, so I step across the hall instead into heathers room to check on Liam.

He does realise that Miles stays with me every fucking night right? What exactly does he think we get up to...

These two are so fucking cute. Heather hanging off the edge of the bed fast asleep with her arm brushing against the carpet, Liam sensing her in his own sleep as he stretches out until their fingertips are almost touching.

They have such a bond, something that travels deep within them both. I'm not sure what it will grow or won't grow into one day, but I know they'll never lose that. That connection from one person's soul into another isn't something that can be ignored.

When I step back out into the hall, Cole is still fucking standing there against his door frame like he was waiting for me.

Why is he making this so fucking awkward...

"You know, we never let him have Zoe sleepover."

That you know of mate, from listening to stories about the two of them she spent a lot more nights here than you fucking realise.

Besides, the reason you didn't let Zoe stay here...  Yeah, unless this story is about to take a real fucking turn, that's definitely not going to happen to me.

"Goodnight Josh... I'll be right in here if you need anything... Right here. Right at the bottom of the hallway where my son sleeps in the room right outside."

I don't remember Cole scaring me this much a few years ago. I thought guys were supposed to mellow with age...

Placing my hand on the handle, I let the door open slowly. God, please don't let there be action figures and week old plates... Don't let there be posters of half naked women on the ceiling... please.

Stepping inside I'm actually pleasantly surprised, other than his poor attempt to shove all of the clothes that I'm betting were covering his floor ten minutes ago into the overflowing hamper, it's actually really nice in here.

It smells like him... I fucking love that scent, I could take a fucking bath in it.

The shower is still going in the en-suite across the room, so I just walk in. Besides, I'll probably never get a better opportunity to snoop around.

Most of the presents that everybody got him are still piled up on his modern black bed, he doesn't have a lot of stuff that shows he actually lives here around the place, but when I get to his bookshelf it's a very different story.

My heart clenches in my chest looking over each one.

He's got photos, so many photos. They aren't in frames or anything, most of them look like they were printed recently and just shoved up against the books but they're still so fucking sweet.

On the bottom shelves are ones of him when he was younger, a few with him and May, and one really cute one of him, Al and Jayce at the Science Museum. The further you look up the shelves, it's like watching him grow before your eyes.

There's a couple with Eli, some of them smiling and some of them where they've clearly had a bit too much to drink. I chuckle at the one of him and Zoe stuffing their faces with cake, getting more down their shirts than they're actually getting in them.

There's one from Jayce's wedding, it's the one that Al made my mum take off all of us sitting around that big table in the evening. You can sense the fucking sexual tension between Steve and Brie just looking at this image, but it's the way Miles is looking up at me that makes my breath get caught in my throat.

It really was always there for him wasn't it? How the fuck couldn't I see that... He's looking at me like I'm the most important person in the fucking world, I can't believe I fucking broke him that night.

I know that I didn't know, it wouldn't have made a difference even if I did. He was still a kid, I would have assumed it was just a crush and probably made sure to keep myself even further away from him than I already did.

In some ways I'm so glad that I never knew, I might not have been able to see him with the fresh eyes I did that day at my office if I'd had that thought in the back of my head. Instead, now it's something I can just smile about, knowing that I was always special to him, it's just in a different way now.

Standing and looking at the shelves that are at his eye height now, I recognise every photo, because I'm in them. He's got everything from the one we took together on our first date, to the one Liam made us take outside the diner, and so many others. He's left space, gaps in the shelf ready for us to fill with new memories.

We are going to have a lifetime of them. I think he's going to need a bigger shelf.

"You finished admiring your own face yet?" I jump out of my skin, Miles chuckling as he stands with his arms crossed over his chest leaning against the door frame of the bathroom. The steam leaking out behind him only emphasising the water that still covers his body.

"You really think I was staring at me?" I laugh, picking up the photo of the gang from the wedding, fuck we all look so young... Doesn't feel like only a few years ago. "You know, I think this is the first photo of us together, technically."

Miles chuckles, shaking his head and turning to open the drawer of his desk. He shuffles through the total disorganisation before picking up an image and smiling widely at it before glancing up at me.

"Actually," he hands over the photograph, the tape still on the corners from where he pulled it out of one of Tara's photo albums. "This is the first photograph of us together, technically."

I almost want to fucking cry looking at this. It's a photo of me, Jayce and Chad, standing at the bottom of the staircase here after our first basketball practise together. You can just about make out Miles behind us, but he's very much in the shadow of our three smiles.

This feels like yesterday, yet a million years ago at the same time. I didn't really know either of them that well before then, I didn't go to the same schools that they did until high school. They always seemed like a duo that you didn't get between, but Chad asked me if I wanted to come over to Jayce's house for pizza and I practically ripped his arm off to be included in their little group.

Now that I really think about it, I think I remember Miles that day. I'm sure I hadn't met him before, I don't remember what we said to each other but I just kept looking at him with nothing but a smile on my face. He clearly fucking adored his brother, and even when his mum told him to leave him alone, Miles just took a step back but stayed where he could try to be part of the group as well.

He's so far from that boy now, he doesn't need the validation of anybody else around him. He's fucking incredible, he is so much more than the copy of Jayce that he was so desperate to be back then.

He's Milo fucking Thompson.

"It's nice to be reminded that you were young once." He quips, but it just makes me shove my hand into his shoulder until he starts to stumble away still giggling.

He really needs to stop saying stuff like that, I'm going to get a fucking complex. I'm not even that fucking old!

Miles takes hold of my wrist, pulling my attention away from the photograph and back to him as he steps into my arms.

I just look at him, really fucking look at him.

Back then I thought he was just a sweet kid, now I think he's the most beautiful man I've ever met. If I think back on every moment, it's actually frightening to realise how many times we've felt connected over the span of our lives.

Like the bond was there just waiting to snap into place at the right time.

Call it destiny, or fate. Either way... It just means we were meant to be.

"Do you want your present now?" He asks, his still damp hands circling around my neck and weaving his fingers into my hair.

Yes I want my present... Unless he's just planning on whipping that towel off to reveal a strategically placed bow...

Usually it's something that I'd really fucking want but considering the look that Cole gave me earlier, I'd rather he didn't lure me into such fucking temptation.

His lips gently stroke against mine, his hold on me is firm but his lips pressing against my own are so soft. I love fucking kissing him, I know I've said it so many times but I just can't stop.

We haven't had the time that everybody else has together, but we get to have the rest of our fucking lives together so who gives a fuck.

Miles pulls away from the kiss, angling us around so that he can back me up to sit on the end of the bed, before reaching into that same draw in his desk and pulling out a small box.

That's my present?

He seems to stare at it, then look back at me, like he's hesitant to even pass it over. He's only ever given me amazing fucking presents, I don't know why he's so worried about this one.

Slowly, he steps between my legs, taking my palm and turning it up to face him before he places the box on the surface.

"Don't freak out, when you've opened it give me the chance to explain." Well that doesn't sound ominous at all...

I gently pull away the tissue paper, revealing a small black box with the silver etching of a constellation right on the top. I look at it trying to figure out which constellation pattern it's from but I'm not as good at this as he is.

His whole body stiffens as I start to gradually lift the lid, but I swear all the oxygen gets sucked out of the room when I look inside...

A ring.

He got me a ring.

Fuck.

My heart starts to beat so wildly in my chest I half expecting to break free, not slowing remotely as I look down on the solid silver band covered in the pattern of star constellations staring back at me.

"Josh, don't panic... It's not an engagement ring."

Oh thank fuck.

I love him, I fucking love him but he's fucking nineteen. I don't want him feeling like he has to make a step like that yet, that kind of tie isn't what I need to prove what our relationship is...

Besides, I kind of want to ask him.

He quickly stretches back over to the desk, never letting his body leave from between my legs and pulling out a virtually identical box from the draw, crouching down so we are face to face before he opens it to show a ring that is the mirror of the one I hold in my hands.

"They're a set, a promise."

Promise rings...

He pulls his own ring out of the box, twirling it between his fingers as he cups my cheek. "Last week, when I thought that I'd have to walk away from you... it fucking killed me. I felt so fucking lost, but then when you told me that it would never happen, when you promised me that we'd never be apart, I realised I wanted to make you a promise too."

He reaches up, the light of the lamp in his room bouncing off the inside of the ring and showing me the perfect inscription.

'You are my stars'

"You're mine Josh, you are my heart and you are my happiness. You are the reason that I smile and the person that I truly believe was put on this earth for me... You are my stars, this is my promise that we will always be this. That no matter what shit is thrown at us, that will never change."

This... Fuck, this is the most beautiful thing that anyone has ever done for me.

It's perfect. It's exactly who we are, something that doesn't have a label or conforms to what other people feel a relationship should be.

We are bonded by nothing else than our promise to fucking love each other. A promise that can never be broken as long as we don't let it.

Miles slips his ring straight onto his finger, no hesitation in him as he picks the one out of the box sitting on my shaking hand, placing the box on the floor and flipping my palm over to rest the ring at the tip of my own.

He stops, looking up at me with those eyes. They are the reason we got into this mess, they are what started this all. I could never say no to him when he looks at me like this.

"Do you promise Josh?"

Right now, looking at him holding my hand ready to slip a ring onto my finger, I can promise one thing entirely:

One day I'm going to marry Milo Thompson.

"I promise." Of course I fucking promise.

He presses the ring onto my finger until it's sitting perfectly at the top like it was always made for me.

I guess it fucking was.

"I love you." I barely manage to whisper the words, pulling him into my arms and letting my face snuggle into the side of his neck. I'd kiss him but I'm still fucking trembling too much, I just need him against me.

"You know," He smiles against my skin, "I don't think I'm ever going to get used to saying that, it still makes my stomach flip with butterflies every fucking time."

He's too fucking cute... I can't believe it took me so long to say it in the first place.

I reach my hands into his hair, pulling him down and kissing his cheek.

"Well I do... I love your heart," I kiss his other cheek, "I love your soul." I move him to look at me and kiss the tip of his nose. "I love the way you love everyone around you so fucking selflessly," I reach up and kiss his forehead, "I love that you are the one that made the stars shine brightly for me again."

I pause, my lips just above the surface his as I look into his eyes. "I love you Miles, I'm so completely in love with you."

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