Chapter 68

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Have I mentioned that I fucking hate bio?

We finally picked a topic, did a shit load of research, and came to a consensus over who will be responsible for what, but I still don’t feel any fucking better about this whole project.

It isn’t helped by the fact that every time I seem to move and feel that twinge all over again, each of the people in the room suddenly jump to my aid like I’m fucking incompetent.

Zoe hasn’t been her usual talkative self, but at least we’re having some kind of conversation. Luke however has been eerily silent, only answering questions when they were asked directly to him. I’m not sure I can take all this awkwardness for the next few weeks, maybe I should see if Eli would be willing to swap me for one of the twins... Who am I kidding? Like fuck is he going to agree to that.

“Okay, then I’ll add that extra bit into the conclusion when we’re done. The experiment itself should be pretty straight forward but the research is going to be killer so don't fall behind on it.” Zoe remarks, popping the lid back onto her fluffy pink pen after highlighting all the different points we need in separate colours.

Luke shakes his head and smirks as he looks down at the rainbow creation she’s made, the most interaction we’ve had coming as we catch each others sight and both try not to laugh.

“Sounds good, don’t forget to bookmark all the websites you use so we can put them in the bibliography. Then we’ll-” I’m cut off as my phone vibrates loudly in my bag against the wall on the far side of the room.

Luke doesn’t even ask before rolling his chair over and digging through until he finds it. I have a momentary panic when I realise who that message is probably from, but gratefully he doesn't even glance down at the screen before throwing my phone into my lap.

I twist my body so Zoe can’t read the message, my cheekbones beginning to hurt as I smile down at my man’s pleas for a saviour.

‘Steve is making me watch some documentary about an mma fighter I’ve never heard of... save me? Send help. Or better, come rescue me yourself 😉’

Does this guy not realise yet that whenever he needs a liberator, I am his very willing hero.

“That your new girlfriend?” Luke’s head shoots up even faster than mine but Zoe isn’t even looking in my direction anymore, twisting the scrunchie on her wrist around and around again whilst biting into her lower lip.

How the fuck does she know that I’m kind of seeing someone?

“Zo... It’s not..” Fuck...

Zoe stops fiddling with the elastic, still not entirely facing me but lifting her head. I thought my shoulder would be the most pain I’d feel today, but seeing her face like that, fuck it's so much worse.

“I know that face Milo. Remember it well. Besides, Jenna told a few of the girls that you said you were seeing someone when you guys we’re dancing at the party... Who is she? Do I know her, is she in our school?” Every word she speaks is so laced with hurt that my whole body just wants to wrap itself around her and make it fucking better.

Lying to the people I care about is so far from who I am, but Zoe is literally the last person on earth that I think I could tell about me and Josh truthfully.

“No, they’re not in our school. Zo, I’m...  Fuck, I’m sorry that you found out off other people. We’re not together, not officially anyway, but you still should have heard it from me.”

Zoe shakes her head but from the way her shiny yellow nails are digging into her palms I know it is taking everything in her to pretend she’s alright right now.

“It’s okay Milo,” She speaks so gently that I know it’s far from okay. “You don't owe me anything. I just didn’t think...  I thought it wouldn’t be so quick. I thought I’d have more time.”

I hate this. I hate that she’s hurt, I hate that no matter what she did I still can’t find a way to hate her. I hate that I don’t feel guilty about me and Josh, I hate that I’m so fucking happy but it’s coming at the expense of hers.

She’s right, we’re not together and I don’t owe her, but that doesn't make seeing her like this any fucking easier.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t plan this.”

Zoe turns away from me, facing the wall and quickly bringing her hand to her face before I watch her whole posture change. Zoe is a master at hiding her emotions, she could be a champion poker player with ninety-nine percent of the people on the planet, but not with me.

When she turns back, she causes what was left of my still beating heart to shatter with a single movement - She smiles... A smile I’ve seen a hundred times before, the smile that she gives to everybody else, the fake smile one that guards her from letting the world see the truly amazing person that she is. A smile that she’s never given to me once before today.

“I’m happy for you, really. She’s a very lucky girl.” The most heart breaking part about that sentence, I know that deep down she means it. I know that May hates Zoe, for what she did to me with Luke but before that because she saw her as this spoiled little Princess who never truly deserved me, but it couldn't be further from the truth. Zoe loves more deeply than I’ve ever seen another person love, she has the kindest heart, and I hate myself for knowing that I’ve dug a chip out of it.

She gives me no opportunity to respond, Luke still sitting silently on the chair having watched the entire exchange as Zoe pulls all of her notes into her arms and doesn't even bother to put them in her bag before walking out of the room. Neither of us say anything, hearing the front door downstairs close but not before I get the most hushed whisper of her sobs beginning.

I look back down at the open message on my phone but I’m really not in the right headspace to respond right now. I’ll call him later, I need to get my head together first.

I’d almost forgotten Luke was even in the room until I tried to stand up and make my way to the shower, only for him to jump up and try to steady me on my way.

“She’ll be okay, it’s just to raw for her now. Give her time. It’s good you still care about her like this, says a lot about you.” I hadn’t realised that Luke was so good with his observations, although I guess it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that neither of us are truly happy with the situation that we found ourselves in.

“Thanks.” I reply whilst shuffling myself into the shower room. “Are you okay to let yourself out? You’re welcome to stay until you’re finished obviously but I’ve got to get some water on this if I have any hope of sleeping tonight.”

Luke nods. “Yeah, no worries. I’ll run down to the kitchen and get you something to ice it with for when you get out.”

He shuts the door and I’m immediately hit with how much has changed in such a short period of time. Only a few weeks ago I was happily not in love with Zoe, waiting for the spark that people kept telling me I would find, Luke was still some kid that I couldn’t stand from the team and my only goal in life was to get as far away from this town as I possibly could.

Now all of that couldn’t be more different. Zoe is becoming a stranger I hardly recognise, Luke is a far more decent person than I ever gave him credit for and with every passing day, I can’t imagine anything worse than leaving this place, the spark I was searching for found in a person that I never could have imagined would ignite it.

The water smacks down on my tense muscles, every tiny droplet like its own bullet hitting me over and over as I stand before the firing squad. The rest of my body eventually relaxes but my shoulder is putting up one hell of a fucking fight.

Stepping out of the shower, the mixture of heat and unrelenting stream has brought out every inch of the injury for full display. The bruising is a mixture of purples, blues and yellows standing firm on my skin. Mum would freak if she saw this, reminder to self to keep a fucking shirt on in the house for the next few weeks.

I haphazardly twist a towel around my waist but keep it clutched in my hand because it's really fucking hard to try and tuck one of these things with only one working fucking arm. The cold air of my bedroom hits me the moment I open the bathroom door, the steam from behind me flooding out like I’m some on stage performer with a smoke machine as I present myself to what I expected to be an empty room.

Except it isn’t.

Luke stands at the edge of the bed, clearly stunned for some reason as he holds a bag of frozen vegetables in one hand and a tray with what looks like lasagne in the other.

“Want to take a picture there Miller?” I throw his own words back at him and it seems to snap him from whatever trance was keeping him in that position. He tries to laugh it off but there’s a nervousness there when he does it too.

“Sorry, it looks worse now that you've soaked it.” He’s right, out here in a mirror not clouded by condensation, I can see how awful it looks. “I figured you’d be hungry and this was on the oven with a post-it on top with your name on it. Not entirely sure what it is but it smells good.”

I walk over to where he stands and my whole face lights up as I realise it’s not just any lasagne, it’s May's lasagne. The only thing I love more about that girl than her ferocious attitude, is her ability to cook.

“Thanks, I’m fucking starving but even I won’t eat all that by myself. You do realise she makes that for like 5 people right?” He seems to look again at the large tray in his hands, laughing when he realises that he’s brought up a portion that would feed most people for a week. May probably only put my name on it so she could make sure I got some before Dad devoured most of it himself. “You managed to finish whatever you were doing?”

Luke lowers the lasagne back onto the bed, nodding as he begins to clear his notes back into his bag. “Yeah, sorry, the dyslexia means it takes a fuck-ton longer for me to get that shit down on paper. I’ve got most of it now.”

I hadn’t realised that Luke was dyslexic, although I guess I really don’t know anything about the guy having practically avoided his existence for the last two years.

“Well finish it then, I fucking hate being in this place on my own anyway. Go get another fork and you can help me attack this bad boy, you've never tasted food like what May cooks.”

Luke looks entirely surprised, but I’m not sure if it’s at my offer to stay or the fact that the mouthy fifteen year old that gave him a ear bashing earlier is basically Martha Stewart in better shoes.

“You sure?”

“Wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t mate. When you’re down there see if she made brownies, she hides them  from me in the breadstick box on the third shelf of the pantry.”

He goes in search of gooey chocolate goodness, still laughing about me being fully aware of all of May's hiding spots as I try my best to get into my boxers without taking a tumble onto the plush blue carpet. I manage to get them on and I’m halfway to having my sweats on too when Luke walks back into the room.

You’d never have know that this guy has been in locker rooms with God knows who for years of his life from the way he always seems to react when he sees me half dressed.

I tried to pull a shirt on but as I lift my arm the pain splinters once again so I just toss it on my chair, I’ll try again in the morning.

Laying down against my pillow, I grab the bag of frozen veg whilst Luke looks seriously uncomfortable trying to perch on the edge of the bed..

“What the fuck are you doing? Have you never gone over to a mate’s house before? Just come lay down by here you idiot, you can pick what we watch, and yes, I will judge you on your choices.”

Why is he hesitating? I get that not everybody is completely comfortable with being around other people but even for someone who clearly has a level of social anxiety, this is weird. Or maybe I’m just too used to being around Eli now, he’s so tactile that if it was him instead of Luke here right now he’d be under the covers trying to spoon me already.

Luke sits on the other side of the bed and leans back against the pillows, making sure to keep as much distance between us as possible whilst flicking through all the options on Netflix. He places his fork into the lasagne tray and picks up a bite just as he reaches the action movie category.

I wait for the response that everybody has to May's cooking, Luke is no exception as he savers the mouthful, his eyes falling shut and a low moan radiating in the depths of his chest before he swallows.

“This... This is the best fucking food I’ve ever had. Seriously, May made this?”

Laughing, I nod, digging in on the other side of the pan and remembering why I continue to put up with this girl’s bullshit just to keep her around for the food... okay, and I kind of love her, whatever.

Luke bounces between a few options, attempting to gauge my reaction but I make sure to keep my face stoic as he moves between movies, eventually he pauses on one in particular and it takes everything in me not to jump with excitement.

Please pick that one. Please pick that one. Please pick that one.

“We are watching this one and I don’t want to hear any shit because it’s my fucking favourite, if you hate it then keep that shit to yourself.” Luke chants before hitting play on what might be one of the best movies ever fucking made.

I try not to show how happy I am, but as the lasagne tray clears, time rolls on and the familiar music of ‘Eye of the Tiger’ flashes through the speakers as I watch Sylvester Stallone race up those steps, Luke knows he made the right fucking choice.

Continuing to try and get comfortable, every time I bend or twist in the wrong direction this fucking ice pack of peas slips and I have to start all over again.

Luke senses my frustration, leaning across my body and picking up the bag of frozen vegetables.

“Just get fucking comfortable then I’ll put this where you need it, I can’t stand your fidgeting anymore.” Since when did Luke think he had the right to give me fucking orders? I get ready to argue but then he raises his eyebrows so high they almost meet that dirty blonde hair of his, his eyes looking even more metallic as they capture the moon rays pouring in through the open window, and I forget completely what I was supposed to be arguing with him about.

I move around, adjusting my pillows a few times before I find myself actually comfortable. Luke waits to see if I’m done wriggling before leaning back over and lowering the iced produce back onto my shoulder.

They are hardly even cold anymore, but apparently all that moving around was no good for me because the moment he starts to place it on my skin I wince under the pain that spider webs itself out from that point.

Luke freezes, pulling the bag back and hovering directly over me as he waits for the rush of pain to cease its course throughout my body. With my eyes closed, I can feel a tingling in my lips that initially I thought was from the pain, but when I open my eyes I realise it’s just his breath hitting the moisture that coats them.

He’s close, so close that I can smell whatever shower gel he used earlier, it’s something fresh like ginger, or coffee maybe, either way I think he actually smells better than me right now.

Wow.. His eyelashes are really long.. They’re nice, they suit him..

Gently and so incredibly slowly, he begins to lower the ice back onto my shoulder, the arm he was using against the mattress to keep himself hovering above me begins to shake as he tries to keep his movements delicate and light. I reach out with my other arm to grasp hold of his bicep and try to relieve some of that pressure.

I knew that Luke had severely improved his body since we met, but now that I’m holding onto him I can actually feel how solid he is. He’s worked hard, really fucking hard and it shows. He feels good.

Being so caught up in the feel of him turned out to be a good thing, I was too distracted to realise that he’d managed to get the entire bag down flat against my swollen shoulder.

“Better?” He asks in a voice even more gentle than the way he was just handling me, if that’s at all possible.

My tongue becomes increasingly dry as I find myself breathing in everything he exhales whilst he searches my face for hints of pain. He’s really concerned about me isn’t he?

My stomach twists with a sensation that is both unsettling and really fucking weird as he moves his eyes from my shoulder to come into direct contact with my own. The movie transitions into a night time scene and the light within my room drops until I can just make out the edge of Luke’s features hovering above me.

I don’t think I’ve ever really looked at Luke before, not like this anyway. Under this kind of light I can see how much softer his features are than the intense glare he often wears makes them appear to be. If I’m truly honest, then right now I can see how Zoe could have found herself lost in him, if that night he was staring down at her the way that he is at me right now.

“Yes...” I manage to push the words out through my lips despite my tongue beginning to stick to the roof of my mouth. “It’s better.”

There’s a beat where neither of us do anything, then that unsettling feeling in my stomach erupts into a full wonderment of unknowing as his view drops from my eyes to my lips. Oh fuck, does he realise how weirdly dry they are right now?

“Good.”

And with that final word, he removes himself from me completely and returns to his side of the bed.

I have to shake my head just to free myself of whatever the fuck was going on inside it, although it’s not long before I find myself happily shouting ‘Adrian!’ along with Luke as we consume what was left of the brownies in their entirety.

It turned out to be a good night, we laughed and joked, in fact we lost track of time so much that when the movie finished and he glanced down at his watch, he practically had to race out of here to get home on time.

Yeah, it was a good night...

...Until I woke up at three am with a sudden realisation that smacked me so hard it made the blow to my shoulder look like child's play...

...I never called Josh back.

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