My Best Friends Brother

Chapter 207

MILO'S P.O.V.

I leave a kiss on Liam's head as I remind him how much I love him, how no matter where I am I will always love him. He's my boy, nothing else will ever change that. One day I'll be a part of his life again, I know in my heart I will be, even if it's not the way I thought I would be.

Josh understands why we have to do this now. It's not what we want, but what we want doesn't matter.

Jayce once told me that once you have kids, your life stops being your own. Every choice you make becomes clouded only by your love for someone else. That's what this is, I love them both too much not to give them the best chance at a life together, I won't stand in the way of their happiness or Liam's security.

I can already sense how afraid he is, I don't want to scare him more so I won't let him see me cry, instead I just hold the head of this precious boy to my chest and let the rhythm of my heart soothe him.

I don't know when I'll get to hold him again... It's going to take time for him to adjust to his life without me so I'll make sure to give him that space... No matter how much it butchers my soul to think about him trying to sleep tonight, frightened and not understanding this cruel fucking world, without me there to stroke his hair and sing the songs only we know he loves.

I love him so much, I know he's not my son but I can't imagine loving my own children anymore than I love him.

I hope one day he understands that I did this for him, that we both did this for him because he's the most important thing in the world to us. I would never leave him if I thought there was another choice.

Hope walks over slowly, I told May to tell her what's happening because I knew that Liam would need her after I leave. She's someone he can find comfort in now... She nods at me before she leans down and takes him in her arms, I can't bear to watch him walk away knowing that the time for me to leave is getting so fucking close, so I just focus on the other eyes I can't stop thinking about.

Josh looks at me, it's exactly the same way he did all the way back at camp when I was drunk, rambling and falling asleep on his chest... Like I'm something so pure and innocent in his life, like I'm the precious one, not him.

I want to tell him so many things; I want to tell him that I love him and that I'm always going to love him. I want him to know that this is the hardest thing that I'll ever have to do, and right now I don't even know if I'll survive it.

I want to thank him, thank him for helping me find a part of myself I never knew was missing, thank him for making me see there's so much more to life than what I thought; that there's more joy, hope and happiness in this world if you find the right person to hold your hand so you can find it.

Thank him for loving me, for choosing me.

But I don't want to do it here. In truth, I don't want to do it at all.

Instead, I just take his hand, weaving my fingers into his. They still sit so perfectly with his own... He doesn't fight me, Coach catches my eye as we head towards the door, he can see the pain running all through my body as he glances down at his watch and then back at me.

I know...

I know what time it is...

But then the music starts.

A single song, the song that started all of this for us.

The song that made me realise I was truly in love with this perfect man, even before I knew what love was.

When I asked Brie to add this to the playlist, all I could think about was the smile that would be on his face when it started to play... I look at him now and realise that all it's doing is tearing him apart.