My Best Friends Brother

Chapter 97

JOSH’S P.O.V.

I should have fucking left by now but this paperwork is taking for-fucking-ever.

“Can you pass me the Leveson file?” Charlie looks up at me like I just asked him to take a knife and carve out his liver for me to enjoy with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

“Pass the file cinderellie, sweep the floor cinderellie! Anything else my dearest wicked stepmother? Or can I go to the fucking ball now?”

Charlie doesn’t mean to be a dick, well not more than his usual bitchy comments make him anyway. The surrogacy agency that him and Han have been pouring their life savings into have just informed him that they won’t have any options for them to look at for at least another six months. It’s crushed them.

He was researching some other options earlier and the prick off the board caught him and gave him a load of shit for looking up personal work on business hours, this is the same guy who racked up over two hundred hours on fucking Pornhub last month so he should have fuck all to say about Charlie taking his lunch break to look at starting a fucking family.

I think he just wants to get out of here now and get down to the lake house where he can drink his weight in something dripping with alcohol. I hate that all of this is becoming so hard for them. And I think if one more person says ‘why don’t you just adopt’ to him he’s going to tear every hair out of the fucking head. Why can’t people just be supportive of other peoples choices? They have the right to choose how they start a family, I just wish that it was being made a bit easier on them.

“Why don't you guys get going? I can finish this up on my own.” If there’s one thing Charlie can’t cope with it’s sympathy, once when he had a cold I offered him a tissue and he threw a bottle of vapour rub at my head. I’m risking a limb here.

To my surprise Charlie doesn’t have a witty comeback, this has definitely taken a bit of the shine out of his joyful rainbow.

“It’s fine, the quicker we get this done the quicker we can all get our fine perky asses down to the love shack.” Great, I’m glad that name is catching on. “You spoken to your brother and big tits since they found out about you and cutie pie?”

I don’t know why Charlie and Brie seem to hate each other, on paper you’d think they’d be best fucking friends but they both just can't seem to find any kind of common ground.

I’m not sure that adding copious amounts of alcohol to the situation is going to help it or make it fucking worse.

“You need to remember to use her actual name when you're there, okay?” Charlie doesn’t even look up from his file, just dragging his finger across his heart in the shape of an X. “Yeah I’ve spoken to them, they both seem really okay with it, supportive even. They said that they won’t say anything to everybody until after the lake house, shit between Miles and his brother are rough enough, we don't need to add this to the situation.”

Charlie nods and we both continue to power through these files, most of this is definitely shit that could have waited until next week but of course the higher ups can't possibly fucking wait for it and we have to get it done now.

“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me! He's got a fucking nerve!” I glance up from my desk to see Charlie standing almost flat against the glass wall of my office, the file that was just on his lap now scattered in disarray around the room as he stares out at the reception desk. The buzzer on my desk goes off and Charlie spins back around to look at me. “Tell him to fuck off.”

I hit the buzzer for reception and her annoying, shrill, nasal voice fills the room.

“Mr. Jones, I have a Xade Hunter here to see you.” Oh fuck.

Charlie steps slightly to the side so I can see my visitor, Xade looking directly into the room past Charlie and at me. He sent me an email a few days ago but I didn’t respond, I still don’t feel that he kissed me intentionally to drive a wedge between me and Miles, but it still doesn't feel okay to talk with him anymore.

The worst part is that he was actually such a good fucking friend to me right up until the moment that he decided to put his lips on mine. If that hadn’t have happened that night, if we'd just drank and laughed until we passed out and then struggled through our hangover the next morning with coffee and regret for our drink choices, I’d be so fucking happy to see him right now.

Xade looks so different to the last time I saw him; his hair pulled back tight on his head in a bun that shows off every sharp angle of his face to perfection. His casual open clothes and colourful tattoos all hidden away under a silver-grey impressively fitted suit.

He lifts something in his hand to show me and I realise it’s the suit jacket that I left wrapped around Poppy after we left his offices that night.

“It’s okay, send him through.” If we have any hope of being friends again one day in the future, I can’t just pretend that he doesn't exist and that it never happened.

“I’m not fucking leaving the two of you, that Ken-doll looking mother fucker has rapey fucking eyes. I’m team Miles to the fucking core, abs like that only come along once in a fucking lifetime and I’m not going to see you give them up for that Elle Woods wannabe.”

I’d love to argue with him but Charlie is a force to be reckoned with even on his best days, today he could probably do with a decent bitch-fight.

Xade approaches the door but I haven’t seen him look this fucking knocked down since the first time I met him way back after camp. He can hardly look at me, not that it stops Charlie practically growling at him like my own personal fucking guard dog.

“Hey,” He tries to extend his hand to Charlie but the man just looks down at it with disgust.

“Still haven’t learned your lesson about keeping your fucking hands to yourself then?”

Oh for fucks sake.

If Xade looked uncomfortable before, then now he looks about ready to throw himself out a window. If I actually want to be able to have a conversation with the guy then I’m going to need Charlie to give us a minute here.

“Charlie...” He looks at me then back at Xade, I give him my best version of puppy dog eyes and he finally relents, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Fine, but I’ll be fucking watching you.” Charlie points his two fingers at his own eyes before repeatedly pointing them back at Xade. “If Regina here tries to go all ‘your hair looks sexy pushed back Aaron’ on you then I’m going to let him leave this office looking like Carrie at the end of fucking prom!” He picks up a folder whilst slipping out the door, before suddenly opening it again. “TEAM MILES!”

Jesus fucking Christ.

Charlie doesn’t even attempt to go over to his office, instead pulling up a chair almost directly outside the glass walls and sitting in it staring at us, folding his arms and pretending to look intimidating. He might have actually succeeded if he wasn’t still clutching a fluffy pink pen and getting distracted by the butterfly bouncing around on the spring on top of it.

The man is a human magpie, put something shiny in front of him and you could keep him entertained for days.

Oh God this is so uncomfortable. I’m not good with uncomfortable, I’m the type of person that is just happier when everybody gets along.

“Do you want some coffee or something? The girl they’ve got filling in for my receptionist does a pretty decent latte.” Xade smiles sheepishly but makes no attempt to sit down, instead leaning over and placing my jacket on the table.

The moment he lets the fabric leave his hands there is a loud bang against the glass of the wall, Charlie throwing himself out of his seat and flat against it just to make sure that Xade wasn’t getting to close. He looks like a bug on a fucking windscreen...

Xade seeing this immediately jumps back and raises his hands in surrender, only for Charlie to return to his seat but still wave his little witchy fingers between his own eyes and Xade’s to let him know he's fucking watching him.

“No, I just wanted to drop that off to you. I should probably go before the next time he hits that glass he ends up going through the fucking thing.”

He nods before turning back towards the door, but I don’t know if I’ll get another chance to ask him and the question has been burning away at me for over a fucking week now...

“Do you like me? Is that why you did it? Or was it really just a drunken mistake?”

Xade freezes, his hand clenching at his side like he’s wrestling with the answer as he continues to let his back face me.

“Do you really want to know the answer to that?” In all honesty I don’t know which will make me feel better, if it was just a drunken mistake then that means our friendship has been splintered for nothing really, if he actually liked me and let me believe we were just friends whilst always knowing it was leading that way...  then it’s flattering but something he should have said something about before letting us both drink that much wine. Either way I need to know.

“Yes.”

He turns, now that he’s closer I can see how tired he looks. I know that with everything going on with his business and the police investigation, he must be truly exhausted. He wasn’t made for this world and we both know it.

I move around to the front of my desk, leaning back on it as he lets himself fall against the glass wall, removing the physical obstacle from between us in the hopes it will make it easier for him to remove the emotional ones.

“I think it was both, in a way.” He begins, his eye contact still sparing me from having to look directly at his face. “I haven’t felt truly connected to somebody for a while now, most guys just aren’t looking for what I am. Then you came along and you kind of ticked all those boxes...  I swear I didn't have any intention of acting on it, kissing a guy when drunk is not exactly how I planned on starting my next relationship. That part just kind of happened, but I can’t pretend that I hadn't thought about doing something like that with you before that night.”

He’s really just confirming everything I thought I already knew, although Charlie is adamant that he had a plan from the beginning, the guy I’ve got to know over these weeks just doesn’t seem like that type of person, and he isn’t.

“I didn’t realise how serious you two were.” He continues, his fingers mindlessly tapping against the glass behind him. “It was obvious that you both like each other but I figured that two guys with so many differences were not looking for something real with each other. You said that you guys don't have a label and he's not even out, I guess I just assumed that meant you both weren’t in it for the long haul.”

“Well you assumed wrong.”

He laughs. “Yeah, I realised that pretty quickly after you run out of my house like I’d just attacked you...”

“Well you basically fucking did!” Charlie screams through the glass, spinning around on his chair like it’s the best roller coaster ride he’s ever been on.

Enough.

I slam down the button that frosts the glass, locking the door and setting off the white noise from outside that sound proofs this room. Charlie immediately tries to tear his way in through the locked door and starts smacking his hand on the walls but I just ignore him.

“Why didn't you just tell me?” I question, Xade rolling his eyes and finally standing up from the wall to face me.

“Tell you what? That I think you’re beautiful and funny and pretty much the whole fucking package? When you have something going with someone else? Yeah, I’m brave but I’m not that fucking brave. When you figured out that you had a thing for Miles, did you just walk up and tell him?”

No, I just...  I kissed him. Fuck.

I pretty much did exactly what he did, although I guess in my case Miles kissed me first.

“Okay, I get it. I guess I’m just pissed because if I had known then I wouldn’t have put either of us in that situation. I know that me and Miles don’t have a label, but that's something for us to worry about not for anybody else to judge us on. What I have with him is really special and I won’t risk that again. Until he tells me otherwise, I’m in this with him.”

If my words hurt him then he doesn’t show it, instead just nodding his head and leaning forward until he’s standing right before me and I’m looking up into those striking emerald eyes. Al once told me that one of the biggest mistakes of her life was not ending things with Chad before they even began, not being true to herself and letting conflicting emotions rule her, knowing that if she could go back she never would have let him full so far for her.

Even if Xade doesn’t want to hear it, I won’t make the same mistakes that she did.

“I want him. I don’t know what the future holds for us and maybe you're right, maybe one day all the differences will be too much, but that day isn't today.”

He looks at me, I don’t know if he’s searching for a moment of doubt or a sliver of a chance that he can use to hold onto but he won't find it. Under different circumstances, had I met him a few weeks earlier, I don’t know what might have happened. Brie is a true believer in destiny and fate, she keeps telling me that I have to believe that everything happens for a reason. I was supposed to find Miles first, I was always meant to find him so he could open me up to everything I’d shut myself off from.

Xade could never be my stars.

“I’m not a home wrecker Josh, if you’re happy then I’m happy for you. If what happened between us has caused any issues between you and Miles then I want you to know how sorry I am, and that I’ll tell him it was all on me if that’s what he needs to hear.”

“Actually, he was kind of fucking amazing about the whole thing. Look, now that I know this, you do realise that we can't just be hanging out like mates anymore right? Miles is seriously understanding but even I wouldn’t put him in that position. When you get over this whole thing, let me know, it shouldn't take long – I’m really not that great.”

We both chuckle, Xade finally removing his hands from his pockets as he lets the laughter calm him.

“You’re actually really great Josh, but I’m sure he already makes you feel that way.” He says with all sincerity clear.

I nod. “He does.” We stand in silence for a minute, this isn’t exactly how I hoped this whole thing would go. “If you ever need anything, you know, business wise or just somebody to bounce ideas off then I’m pretty sure you could send me an email relatively risk free.”

He smiles, probably the first genuine one he’s given me since he walked into this room. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind... I actually have something for you and the crazy banshee outside if you want to let him back in.”

I slip the dial on my desk and the door unlocks, only for Charlie to fall straight through it and almost land completely on his face. His head lands directly next to Xade’s feet, and he can’t help but check out his shoes before even trying to make it back to his own. I wish I had cameras in here for that.

I’ll definitely be hearing about this for the next 24 hours but it was worth it just to see him getting all riled up like an angry chipmunk brother with a meth problem.

Xade reaches into his briefcase and pulls out two envelopes, handing one to me and the other to Charlie.

“They’re invitations to the fundraiser we do every year for the foster kids, they include plus ones so please bring Miles and Han with you.” Xade looks up at me, his lips curled up just enough to show off those dazzling cheekbones. “It's not for another few months but I have a feeling the plus ones will still be the same.”

Charlie tears open the envelope and is fanning over the food options before Xade has even left my office. Watching him walk away, I can’t help but feel there might have been a reason he was brought to me as well.

Sometimes you have this idea in your head, this perfect person that you build to fulfil all your dreams and fantasies. Maybe they’re a lot like the person that you’re with, or maybe they’re everything that person isn’t, but we all have that figure built into our minds when we picture our dream future.

Up until a few months ago, my person resembled Xade in almost every way. He was almost made from the tattered pieces of cloth that built the blanket of the man I really desperately thought I wanted.

If I hadn’t have met him then maybe there would have been a voice in the back of my head trying to convince me that Miles didn’t match that description, having met him now I realise that it was the description that was wrong.

What I always wanted wasn’t the perfect man; it wasn’t the person who would instantly build a family with me, it’s the person who wants to build an entire life with me. It’s not someone who understands the pressures of my job, it's the person that makes you forget those pressures ever existed.

We all have someone who is our perfect person on paper; our loving Chad, our stable Connor, our box ticking Xade...

But instead sometimes that man isn't the guy you were looking for on this earth...

...Sometimes your guy ends up waiting for you amongst the stars instead.

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