Chapter 125

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MILO’S P.O.V.

I never knock on the door to Jayce’s house but this doesn't feel like the kind of situation where we can just walk straight in, although it doesn’t make me any less grateful when the face that opens the grain is Lee’s smiling one.

She glances from Josh to me and smiles before pulling us into a big group hug, both of us instinctively moving our hips away before we can press against her growing bump.

“You two shit bags ready for this? Charlie and Han are still over at Brie’s place with the kids so it’s just the four of us. I’ve tried to keep him sweet all day so he should be in a decent mood for this, well at least a less murdery mood.” She tries to laugh it off but there's definitely an element of truth to her words. Also, I’d really rather not know exactly how she’s kept him sweet... Therapy, there is definitely therapy in my future with this family.

Between the three of us we kind of came up with a plan of attack for today. Lee is going to hang out in the background and let Jayce get through whatever it is he needs to say, I’ve told her not to intervene unless the both of us start throwing punches again.

Dad was right, I need to give him the time to process before flying off the handle, but he'd better keep himself in check because I’m also not willing to just take his shit if he decides to revert back to being a little cunt again.

Josh is seriously tense. We were talking in the car on the ride here and I realised that he isn’t really bothered about how Jayce feels about the whole situation, what he doesn't want is to step between the two of us when we are finally making strides in the right direction again.

It’s sweet but unnecessary, if Jayce wants to be my brother then he will find a way to accept this no matter what. Josh is mine.

Josh let’s go of my hand as we step into the kitchen, Lee making her way over to stir whatever she’s cooking on the hobs before I twist to see Jayce laying the table. Okay, time to do this.

He smiles immediately at Josh but looks at me with slight confusion before walking over and pulling me into a big bear hug.

“I didn’t know you were coming over mate, you gonna stay for food and meet Josh’s new guy with us? I can set you an extra place.”

Awkward.

It’s also kind of hard to respond to him when he’s practically smashing my entire face into his chest.

He lets me out to breathe, throwing an arm around Josh and hitting his back with too much force for my liking before glancing around at the empty kitchen behind us. “Where is he then? Please don’t tell me he bailed because Lee has been fretting over that pasta sauce all fucking day, you know how she gets when she tries to make one of granny’s recipes without May for backup.”

Josh looks from me to Jayce, the anxiety radiating off of him in waves, yet for some reason my thick-headed brother can’t sense it. Too many basketballs to the fucking head.

“He’s right there Jayce.” Jayce turns his head to face me, making my heart jump up into my throat, but only for a second before he carries on twisting and stretches around to look into the empty living room.

Well, empty except for Lee who is horrendously trying to act inconspicuous whilst leaning against the back of the couch and holding a magazine upside out in front of her face like she’s in a bad spy film, peering over the top of the pages at us.

How is she the smartest person I know? It’s worrying.

“Where?”

For fucks sake. Nope. Not going through this again.

Josh opens his mouth ready to answer but I just grab the back of his head before slamming his lips down onto mine. It’s definitely not the best kiss we’ve ever had considering he’s practically in shock right now, but I’m pretty sure it will still make my point.

I pull away, Josh still slightly shell-shocked but it’s nothing compared to what I’m faced with when I turned to look at Jayce.

Oh God, is he dead? Did we just kill him?

Lee immediately drops the magazine and comes racing between us, laying her hands on either side of Jayce’s frozen face and pulling him down to look at her.

“Jayce, baby it’s okay. I really need you to breathe right now... Jayce?” But nothing that seems to snap him from whatever world he's lost himself to.

Okay, what do we do now? Maybe I should just kiss Josh again? Like a reboot to the system or something...

He’s not blinking. It’s definitely not healthy to go this long without blinking.

Lee continues to stroke his cheeks trying to bring some life back to him, eventually I see the moment the balloon pops and he forces his way out of Lee’s hold to stand in front of Josh.

“Is this a fucking joke?” Well that all stopped being funny real fucking quick.

Jayce’s tone holds no air of humour, in fact it's down right bloodthirsty. Josh doesn’t back down an inch, letting himself step forward even further and almost shielding me in the way he tries to step between me and my brother.

It’s cute but if Jayce is going to come at anyone then I’m going to make sure it’s me.

“It’s not a joke Jayce, me and him we are–”

“You and him?!” Jayce spits. “There is no fucking you and him. This isn’t... He's not even...” He doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as Lee immediately grabs hold of his chin and forces him to face her, I knew asking her to stay out of this was going to be too much of a fucking challenge. The girl could never follow the fucking rules.

“Jayce, I want you to think very fucking hard about the words that you are going to say before you say them. You might not be able to take them back after.” Lee has always held an authority over my brother that nobody else has ever been able to compare to.

She doesn’t often use any aggression in her voice but right now I can feel it’s pouring off her, she knows that me and him have been at our make or break for a long fucking time and that this could be what leads it into one very definite direction.

He follows her advice, allowing himself a moment to breathe before ignoring Josh completely and looking directly at me.

“So, you’re gay?” His words are short and sharp but not uncaring, almost like we are in some kind of interview where he's just trying to gather all the information before he makes a decision.

“I’m Joshed.” I know Josh is smirking right now without even having to look at him.

“Joshed?”  He replies with obvious confusion.

“Joshed.” I reply firmly. “Him. He is what I want. I don’t care about what label you feel you need to put on me to let me have him. Call me whatever you want, I’m his.”

I don’t really know how else I can put it, how I feel about Josh has fuck all to do with his gender and everything to do with who he is as a person. I don’t know what else that can make me other than his.

Jayce doesn’t say anything for a moment, he just stares through at me like Josh doesn’t even fucking exist standing before me. It’s really starting to piss me off but I’m trying to remember what Dad said.

Lee steps away, allowing him some room to breathe but I’m not sure how much of that he’s doing anyway.

“How long have you two been...” This time the question is asked with a fuck lot more trepidation.

“A few weeks, nearly two months.” Josh says but it doesn’t make Jayce turn to look at him, he doesn't even make any movement that allows me to believe he ever fucking heard him.

Jayce turns from me to look at Lee, I can see the hurt in him and I know that he’s going to be upset that she kept this a secret.

“How long have you known? How long have you been keeping this from me?” Lee shakes her head, trying to wipe away the images that she’s been lying to him for months from his head before they even form.

“I found out this weekend. They wanted to wait until we got back from the lake house to tell you, and Milo wanted to be able to have that conversation with Tara first. I swear I haven’t been keeping it from you, but coming out is not something that is my right to out Jayce, that’s his choice.” His anger towards her drops significantly, not that it would have lasted long anyway with those two.

Lee moves back into the living room, keeping us within her sights but letting the conversation drop to just the three of our input.

“Milo, can I talk to Josh please? Alone.” Like fuck is that happening.

“No. Anything you have to say to him, you can say in front of me. I’m in this as much as he is Jayce, you aren’t going to take it out on him alone.” Jayce finally turns to look at Josh for the first time since I kisses him, the two of them seeming to to have a silent conversation before Josh turns, letting his back full to Jayce and bringing my eyes to his.

“It’s okay, me and him need to talk.” He’s pleading with his gorgeous swirling ocean orbs right now but I really don’t want to let him face this situation without me. I can already imagine what he’s going to say to Josh but this isn't what he's going to assume it is, this has never been an older guy thing – it’s just a Josh thing.

“Josh...” Josh's hand comes up to cup my jaw as he shakes his head. Fuck, he needs this.

Lee steps back into the room, taking my wrist and tugging it gently towards the hallway, just as Jayce calls out to me and we freeze.

“Milo,” He steps up straight from where he’s been leaning against the dining room table, looking me directly in the eye and letting words spill out of him directly from his heart. “I love you Milo and I will always support you, you as a person and every part of you. I’m proud that you’ve found a part of yourself and I hope you know that it makes no fucking difference to me, you are my brother and you always will be.”

He was careful with his words but I don’t miss it, I’m his brother and he supports me, me alone. I can already feel the loose tether that was keeping us together stretching dangerously tight.

He needs to understand, Josh is a part of me now too.

Lee pulls me all the way through the hall, up the stairs and into her room before letting us out onto the balcony.

She leans into a plant pot and pulls out two giant bags of chips, tossing one at me before opening the other and settling us both down in the seats. That’s how she does it! She has fucking stashes everywhere!

There’s no words for a moment, Lee always knew when the best time to talk was and when it was better to just be quiet. I listen as hard as I can for raised voices or the sound of Jayce digging through the cutlery drawer for his sharpest implement, but whatever they're doing down there they want to make sure that we can't hear it.

“I wish it was dark, you could give me one of your amazing talks on the stars then. I could really use with getting lost in one of your little speeches right now.” I chuckle at her staring out at the thick fog that is starting to coat our sleepy little town. No wonder those guys like to sit out here for so long, it's easy to believe your problems are so small when looking out at the expanse of the wider world around you. All of us seem so insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

“He's going to be okay with this, right?”

Lee shuffles in closer, banging our chairs together as she lays her head down on my shoulder.

“Milo, your brother is my husband and I love him more than anything else in this world, but that doesn’t change the fact that he can be an absolute fucking dickhead that I sometimes want to toss straight off this balcony so I can trade him in for one of Denise’s Spanish waiters on that cruise ship.” I laugh so hard that her head almost falls from my shoulder, her grabbing my arm and laying it across her body as she wraps her petite hands around my bicep. I really love this woman.

“I promise not to tell him that you said that.” Resting my hand against her little bump, I kiss the top of her head and breathe in that coconut shampoo she’s been using since the day I met her. I love her so much it hurts, she’s my sister in everything other than blood but it has never made her any less my family.

“I appreciate that, you know you were always my favourite Thompson brother.” She says, snuggling further into me. “But that’s not what I meant. I meant that even if he doesn't accept this, he will find a way to deal with it because he'll have to. I’ve seen you and Josh together and I know that this isn’t going away, either he accepts you two as a couple or he’s going to lose you as a brother. Either way I hope you know that you have me, he might be my husband but you are my brother and Josh is my family. Your happiness is very important to me, so if me and Brie need to tear him down everyday until he accepts that, then that's exactly what's going to happen.” Her sweet sincere voice is always one that makes me smile.

But that’s not what I want.

“Don't do that. I want him to accept us because he realises that we belong together, not because you two forced him into it. If he never gets there then that’s on him, he'll be the one missing out not us.”

Lee goes to say something else but stops when I feel a hit right against my palm through her stomach. I look down at where my hand sits on her bump and almost instantly another tiny kick smacks against me again.

“Is that the first time they've –”

“Yeah, I think they agree with you.” We both laugh, Lee slipping her hand underneath mine so she can feel the little life growing inside of her reacting to our touch. “You know, Josh is going to be really pissed about this.”

I smirk, leaning down and laying my head right against the curve of her stomach.

“I knew I’d be your favourite.”

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