My Best Friends Brother

Chapter 149

MAY’S P.O.V.

“What the fuck do you mean you still have it? He wouldn’t take it back?” Hope jumps up off the end of her bed, slamming her bedroom door shut before Connor overhears us. Usually we just sign if we don’t want people to understand our conversation but right now I’m just too fucking tired.

“Exactly like I fucking said, I told him to come and get it yesterday but he said he wanted me to go down there again. Like fuck is that happening, you know what else he’ll want if I see him in person.” Hope gives me a nod of understanding, she’s the only person I’ve been able to talk to about all this shit. I don’t know what I’d do without her.

I never should have fucking seen him again. I should have listened to Milo.

Me and Milo have a deal - no lies.

I lied.

He just didn’t understand, he doesn’t get it. I knew back then that Diego wasn’t the best person but he just made me feel fucking better. I hurt all the time; my ankle hurts whenever I stand, my head hurts whenever I think, my heart hurts all the fucking time.

He just made it... quiet.

I like it when it’s quiet.

With him I didn’t have to be this perfect fucking person like the great Brianna Parker, I didn’t need to be as smart as Milo or as skilled as Jayce, I just got to be a girl from the bad side of town with the scary boyfriend that people left the fuck alone.

I just want people to leave me the fuck alone. I’m done with having to live up to all their fucking expectations of me.

So for once, I did something I fucking wanted.

But as usual in my stupid fucking life, it backfired.

Diego never made me feel like some stupid fifteen year old kid that doesn’t know shit either, he made me feel like a woman. It was nice, nice to feel fucking wanted. No one else has made me feel fucking needed in...

Ever.

I knew he was dangerous, it’s not like I’m as stupid as people think I am, I know who he is and what he’s going to become... but he could have anyone... he could have one of those girls that throw themselves at him his own age but he picked me.

For awhile I just felt... special.

When you’re the one that never gets chosen, when you're just the person that everybody sees this smile on and appreciates your witty comebacks, it's easy to hide the fucking pain from them all.

I promised Milo I wouldn’t see him again, he’s my brother and I love him, but he didn’t grow up the way I did. He’s been through shit but he’s also being protected from the real world. It’s half the reason he’s so okay with everything between him and Josh, he doesn't realise all the shit people are saying about him behind his back.

He’s a good person, he’s actually the best fucking person I know. He thinks I’m a good person too, it would be sweet if it wasn't so obviously wrong.

I’m the furthest thing from a good person. I kill everything I touch.

Milo thinks I’m like him, he only ever sees the good in people, becomes blinded by their potential rather than seeing them for the piece of shit they are.

I’m nothing like Milo.

That’s why me and Diego made such a good team; he doesn't have any parents either, his brother is an over controlling prick who won't even accept who he wants to be, I can relate to that so bad.

“What are you going to do? Can you just get rid of it?” Oh Hope, I love her but she’s so out of touch with the real world beyond her white picket fence that she has no idea what the fuck is going on out there.

“Are you fucking mental? He’d have me shot down in the fucking street for throwing out something worth that much money. I’ll figure it out, I always fucking do.” My phone buzzes, another message from Brie telling me to get over to the fucking barbeque, like I actually give a fuck about all this special ‘family time’ bullshit.

It’s not that I don’t love them, obviously I fucking love them all. It’s just that I’m an outsider. It used to be me and Milo together sitting on the fringes making fun of the clicks on the inside, but even he’s jumped onto their fucking ship now.

Now it’s just me wondering around on this island alone, no one even thinking about turning around and making sure I make it back to land.

“I got to go, Brie’s kicking off again. You sure you can’t come with me?” I know she can’t, but I still find myself asking the question anyway.

“I promised Dad I’d do this thing with the kids, I can come over later though? I can get Dad to drop me off on the way home if you want?” I nod, I don’t actually know where I’d be without this girl. She’s the opposite of me in every single way which I think means that she's the balance on my scale of crazy.

Connor offers to drive me home when I get down to the living room but I can see he’s already got his hands full with both sets of twins. Hope should be grateful she's fucking deaf because the noise in this house sometimes is fucking unbearable.

She walks me all the way to the end of the path, rubbing her hands up and down my arms to try and bring me comfort. It’s funny, she’s been doing it to me for so long that I started doing it to myself whenever I need a release from all my anxiety. I love this bitch, she’s my fucking bitch.

I hold onto her hand until I have no choice but to break away, her quickly signing an ‘I love you’ to me before I return it and step around the corner onto the next block trying to ignore the throbbing in my ankle that’s started already.

This corner. This fucking corner is where it all went wrong.

Diego was dropping me home, he used to drop me at the end of our road but when Milo started sneaking around with Josh I noticed that was their little spot to say their own goodbye so we had to move further away.

I was pissed at him, super fucking pissed. He’d been fucking around with one of the other girls from the gang again even though he was fucking denying it, the bitch sang like a canary when I was digging my nails into her fucking throat and told me everything, so he had to fucking face it.

He blamed me, said that if I'd just fucking give it up then he wouldn’t have to go and fuck other girls to be satisfied.

It wasn’t like that with him in the beginning, he's always made comments and shit around the guys to keep his rep up but when we were alone together he'd always be super gentle with me. He wasn’t gentle that night, he kept telling me how I’d been teasing him for fucking months and now he was owed my fucking virginity.

It all happened so fast, one minute I was screaming at him and telling him to go fuck himself and then the next minute he was forcing me into the back seat. He kept telling me to be quiet but I knew better, I screamed my fucking head off until he had no choice but to get the fuck off me as a jogger started pounding on the window threatening to call the police.

I knew then that it had to be over, but the Serpent's don't let you walk away like that. Even when you’re not initiated they still see you as fucking property.

Someone gave his licence plate over saying he had a screaming girl in the back seat, he was banned from coming over to this side of town, mainly because this is the side with fucking money – you can’t be raping girls in the street here, the Southside is okay though. Who gives a fuck about those girls? They don’t have rich daddy’s to put the guy in prison for fucking life so who cares... I fucking hate this town.

I thought I’d be safe over here then but obviously fucking not.

Hope kept me hidden down at her school whenever I was on lunch, I’d go with her to the dance studio after school so he couldn't fucking find me, but I couldn’t stay hidden forever.

I was just going down to the shop to get sherbet for Heather for when we went to the lake house, he must have been fucking waiting for me. He pulled up next to the sidewalk, shoved his gun on the dash and told me to get the fuck in the car.

If I’d been any other girl I would have done the sensible thing, run a fucking mile, but this is me. I did what I usually do, gave him a shit load of abuse that only made him smirk more. He always liked my fucking attitude.

That smirk of his... it’s my fucking undoing.

The next thing I knew we were back in that back seat, this time he was gentle again, he was my Diego again. I’m seriously fucking stupid.

He took me to the mall, bought me this new bag and we had food, I thought maybe it was just a fluke you know? Like what happened that day in the car was some kind of weird fucking possession or something and this was the real him.

Then he took me home, but just as I got to my front door I got a text telling me to check my bag.

I knew what was in the package before I even opened it. Something that would see me thrown out of that fucking Manor and into a cell, something that could ruin my family’s reputation and that was now in my possession. A tie to him, one I couldn’t exactly just put up straight in the garbage and pretend I never got.

He told me just to keep it safe, that nothing bad would happen if I just kept it safe.

That day was a ploy, a way for him to get back in with me and manipulate me into giving him exactly what he wants. I’d be fucked no matter what I do, calling the cops on someone in his family is basically asking to have your best friends head delivered in a fucking box to your front door. He’s been bragging so much lately about how they’re expanding so far out of Westbrooke, getting involved with people all over the fucking world and creating an empire.

Now he’s saying he'll take it back again, he'll make all the stress and all the worry go away if I just give him one thing in return.

Me.

He wants me. All of me.

I know I should just do it, what the fuck is your virginity really anyway? Brie says that it’s just a patriarchal concept constructed by men to keep women from enjoying all the pleasures that life has to offer, but still, it’s mine. I should be the one to decide who gets it, nobody else.

I thought about telling Milo, hell I even thought about telling Brie! But I know that both of them won’t understand the true severity of the situation, they'll just think they can fix it, when the truth is this is so much bigger than me or him or them.

I don’t want him near any of them. I’ll sort this out on my own... it’s what I do best.

Stepping into the house, it’s alive with conversation, Milo spotting me first and waving me to come over into the lounge but I’m really not feeling the whole social butterfly bullshit right now.

“You good?” He asks, his hand firmly in Josh's, who smiles at me gently before returning his attention back to Elizabeth.

“Obviously, you know me, five by five.” He gives me a nod that says he doesn’t believe a fucking word I’m saying but he won’t push me on it either, he’s been too busy with Josh and his family to really notice anything that’s going on with me at the moment.

It’s okay, he’s happy. That’s all I want for him, for all of them.

I look around the room for the one person that actually makes these situations bearable, but she’s nowhere to be seen. “Where’s Heather?”

Milo looks out into the backyard but I can only see Liam sitting on the table outside, Josh begins to chuckle pointing towards the staircase.

“I’m pretty sure she sneaked up into your room earlier, she’s been up there a while though so maybe she’s hiding?”

My room?

“Why would she go to my room?” I ask, slipping my shoes off before Tara starts shouting at me for bringing in invisible mud. “Whenever she hides she just goes to the back of Tara’s wardrobe, the girl doesn't quite understand the concept of hide and seek.”

Leah chuckles, she knows damn well that daughter of hers is a little weirdo but we all still love her.

“She was looking for brownies,” Leah says rubbing her hand across her ever growing stomach. “You know that she’ll hunt them down too so if you’ve got any sherbet up there then she’s probably already wolfed down the lot.”

Sherbet...  but whenever I hide sherbet but I always put it in my...

No!

I rush straight for the stairs, ignoring everyone else as they shout after me.

No.. no.. no.. no.. no.. This can’t be happening. Please tell me she wouldn’t think that... She wouldn't mistake it for...

My ankle twinge’s as I race up the staircase, my legs buckling under the sudden jolt of pain and my knees hitting the wood so hard that all the conversation in the living room stops. Shit! I hear Milo shouting for me but I push up quickly and ignore every shot of agonising pain to get to my room before she finds it.

They’ll all kill me if she brings it down here. I should’ve fucking thrown it at his fucking house and ran! This fucking girl...

The door is still wide open when I get to the end of the hall, I can’t even see her inside but the moment I see my bedside drawer open and empty my heart sinks into my stomach.

Shit, where did she put it?

“Heather!”

I can’t see her, where the fuck is she?

A repetitive banging breaks through into my mind and my leg almost crumbles under the unbearable pain as I force myself to step forward around the side of the bed...

But the moment I do I wish I hadn’t.

Heather? Why the fuck are you...

Her collapsed body is wedged between my bed and the drawers, convulsing uncontrollably against the bed frame, the carpet covered in vomit whilst the white powder still covers her lips....

The open bag of cocaine spilling from her hand...

“AAAAGGGGHHHH!”

She took it... She thought it was sherbet...

My body crumbles, but I don’t even feel it hit the floor. Watching her eyes roll back in her head as lashings of vomit continue to pour from her open mouth, my heart splits into shattered pieces and all other noise is drowned out by the buzzing that overtakes my ears.

I know Milo is screaming, I can feel him running past me and the blur of his figure as he drops to the floor and continues to shout Heather’s name.

There’s so much noise, there’s so much fucking noise but I can’t hear any of it. I know it’s there... I can’t hear it...

Stop shaking. Heather you keep banging your head, stop shaking! She needs to stop shaking... She needs to open her eyes...

Open your eyes.

Open your eyes.

OPEN YOUR EYES!

This can’t be happening again...

This time I need somebody to wake her up please... please... please... Somebody wake her the hell up!

A strong pair of arms grab hold of my shoulders, Milo’s face filling my vision completely as he holds out the torn brown package still pouring out with white powder.

Why can’t I feel my heart? I’m dreaming, it’s one of the bad ones. It’s okay, you can wake up now May.

May wake up.

“May! Where the fuck did you get this?!” When did Josh get here? I didn’t see Jayce come in... They aren't usually in my nightmares... “May!” Who’s screaming? Why are they screaming so much? “May!” They need to stop screaming, I can’t hear Milo with them screaming like that... I think Heather’s trying to sleep.... “May! May can you hear me?!”

The screaming... I know that screaming.

It's mine.

I need to stop screaming. I need to wake up and stop the screaming...

It’s not a nightmare...

“Yes, I need an ambulance.”

“Jayce!”

“May, what the fuck did you do?”

“The ambulance is coming.”

“Heather... Heather, it’s Dad, can you hear me princess?”

“Al, Al you have to calm down sweetheart, think of the baby.”

So many voices. So many voices.

She’s still shaking... She’s still shaking... Don’t let her bang her head anymore...

My heart hammer’s against my rib cage like it’s trying to tear free of my body and replace the one in hers, my face is wet and somebody’s trying to pull me away but I don’t know whose hands are on my body anymore.

No, no I can’t go. She needs me. She needs me. They need me.

Granny wake up...

There’s so many voices, too many questions, but all I can look at is her shoes smashing against the floor I front of me. I bought her those shoes, the little pink one’s with the unicorns, Leah wouldn’t let him have another pair so I got them out of my allowance last week...

She was smiling. She should still be smiling.

They just keep shaking...They just keep...

Then, there’s no noise. Then she stops shaking. I can’t hear them anymore, They're screaming all around me but I can’t hear them anymore.

My whole world ended the moment her heart stopped.

I'm sorry!!😭😭😭💔💔💔
See you next time beauts...