The Life of Buddy

Brandon and Mason

Brandon and Amber got up around six and went to a small diner that was across from the campus. He sat in the table lost in thought not even noticing that the waitress had sat his food in front of him. "Brandon." Amber said as he stared off into the distance. "Brandon." She said a little bit louder getting his attention.

"What." He said confused.

"You're food is here."

"Oh." He looked down at the plate of eggs and bacon thinking that he was not really that hungry.

"Are you okay?" Amber asked then chided herself for asking such a stupid question. Of course he is not okay. He is dealing with the fact that his mother is psychopath who tried to get me raped, raped his brothers and was probably hoping to do the same to him someday.

"I was just thinking about what we are going to do when you are done with exams." Amber had two days of exams left and then they would leave campus. They had talked about taking a trip to Dallas to get away from all the craziness going on back home.

"Do you still want to go Dallas?" She asked ate a fork full of egg.

"Yes." He said. "No." He then let out a heavy sigh. "I don't know." He gave her an uncomfortable look. "I miss my brothers." He told her. "Especially Buddy. And I feel guilty leaving them like I did."

"You're brothers are fine." Amber said.

"I know." Brandon said. "But I can't help but feel like I should be there for them."

"Well when I am with exams we can back home." Amber said. and then took a drink of coffee. She could tell that did not make him happy. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know if I want to go back." Brandon said. "If I should go back."

"What do you mean?"

"I keep thinking about what Diane said the other day."

"You mean about you being Buddy's five in a past life." She said with an amused look.

"Multiple past lives according to her spirit animal." Brandon said.

"I would not take any of that seriously." Amber said.

"I don't." Brandon said. "But its something else that she said that is bothering me." An unsettled look crossed his face. "She said that I was obsessed with Buddy." Brandon then saw the look in her eyes. "You agree."

"Yes." She said.

"And she said that my obessession with Buddy was a danger to him." He then gave her a questioning look. "You don't think that's true do you?"

"No, I have never thought that." Amber said. "I've thought that you are a little too harsh on him and Butch at times. That you took the belt to him a little too quickly." A look of discomfort crossed her face. "I was horrified when I heard about the beating you gave him at the shopping center."

Guilt flashed across his face. "I'm sorry that I did that. I was way out of line and I should have never hit him like that." Makes me feel a little hypocritical being angry with Mister Winters for doing the exact same thing to Butch. "I got carried away that day." Shame was in his eyes. "I promise it won't happen again."

"Did you apologize to Buddy."

"I did." He said. "I did not enjoy hurting my brother." I'm not Ron he thought. I don't enjoy inflicting pain on people.

"I hope not." Amber said.

"But I can't feel that Diane was right." He said. "Maybe I am a danger to Buddy and not just Buddy but to all my younger brothers."

"Brandon I can't see you ever doing anything to harm your brothers..."

"How many people have said that about my mom." Brandon said with a worried look. "Maybe I am just like my mom." His stomach began to twist and turn with disgust.

"You are nothing like your momma" Amber said. "You may be a little strict on your brothers but that is because your daddy turned you into their third parent."

"Maybe." Brandon said. "I just can't help but wonder if it would be best for me to stay away from my brothers for awhile."

"Maybe so." Amber said. "You have been playing daddy to your little brothers for a long time and you need a break." She then said "A long break and maybe never take that responsibilty again."

"That might be a good idea." Brandon said with uncertainty in his voice. He was not sure if he wanted to give up the responsibilty, leave them to their own devices or have someone watch over them. Then Buddy and Butch are not little kids, they are sixteen they need to be responsible for themselves. Even Brooks and the others as well.

I don't know he thought. I don't know if I can give up being in charge of them.

He then sighed as he debated what he should do.

It was a little after seven when the orderly walked into Mason's room. He was out of his bed and once again standing in the corner.

"Hey buddy I brought you breakfast." He sat the tray on the small table that reached over the bed. "Why don't you come out of the corner and get something to eat." He did not move. John Welk walked over to him and put his hand on the shoulder. Mason looked at him and he said "Its okay Mason you can come out of the corner."

"Yes sir." He said as he turned around.

"You don't have to call me sir Mason." John said. "I'm a year younger than you."

Mason laid in the bed and John moved the tray towards him. "There you go bud."

"I loved her." Mason said. "My mother. I loved her more than anything." He said with sadness in his eyes. "That's why I never told anyone what she did to me because I could not bear the thought of being the one that got into her trouble. That's why I allowed her to do such awful things to me."

"And you know the sickest part."

"What?"

"If she came through that door right now." He choked as he spoke. "I would let her do it all again." He looked at the orderly. "Does that make me a freak.'

John looked at him in compassion and said "No, bud." He shook his head. "Not at all." He looked at the door. "I have to deliver the rest of the meals why don't you just eat and rest okay."

"Okay." He said as he laid back.

I love you mom he thought. And I hate myself for it.