Blue ; Timothée Chalamet

24.

I open the door more for Blue to come in. He walks in slowly and looks around; he makes his way to the kitchen island and sits down while grabbing my glass of wine. Blue takes a sip and shifts his direction towards me.

"Good wine." He smiles.

I smile back. "Yeah, uh, it's from somewhere in California." 

"Makes sense." Blue takes another sip. 

"I don't mean to be rude, but why are you here?" I grabbed a fresh wine glass from the cabinet. 

"I can't come to see my friend?" Blue leans back in his chair.

"I just assumed you were still mad at me," I say, pouring myself a glass.

"I told you I'd contact you when I wanted to, so here I am." Blue raised his arms to his side.

I smile at him and take a sip of my wine. Blue and I haven't spoken in almost a week; that's an extremely long time for him and me.

"Have you seen or talked to Savannah?" I break the silence and ask.

"Both." Blue pushes his glass towards me.

I fill his wine glass and slide it back to him. "How is she?" 

"Good, she's been with Lucas a lot." Blue grabs his glass back.

I nod my head. "My parents were here today." 

Blue's eyes enlarged. "What happened?"

I laugh. "I found out they renewed their vows with all of their family and friends; seems like they forgot to include me tho." I take a sip of my wine and sit next to Blue.

"Jesus, I'm sorry." Blue shifts in his seat to face me.

"Yeah, it's whatever, doesn't even phase me anymore," I say, lying through my teeth.

"You ended up doing something with them tonight?" Blue asks.

I shrug. "The night started off with us going to dinner, then my dad spilled the beans, and I ended up leaving." I gulp my wine before continuing. "I actually uh- ran into Jackson, then we went to get food." 

Blue nods his head. "So I heard."

"What do you mean?"

"Jackson called for the one-hundredth time this week." Blue looked away from me, rolling his eyes. "Told me what happened with Baxter." 

"Oh." It was the only thing I could get out.

"Wanna tell me what's going on with that?" Blue sighed.

"I haven't seen or talked to him since you picked me up from his place, he didn't seem to like that, and I assume he was stalking me to confront me." I twirl my wine glass.

"Is this going to be a problem?" Blue turns towards me again.

I shake my head. "I don't think so." 

"Why are you even putting yourself in this situation again?" Blue huffs.

I lean over in my seat, grab the wine bottle off the counter, and refresh my drink. "Reasons."

"Like what?" Blue's tone turned harsh. 

I shrug and stare at my glass of wine.

"You don't want to tell me?" 

"Sometimes it's just nice to have someone consistent." I kept my eyes on my wine glass, knowing Blue was looking at me. "Yeah, we had our shitty times, but; he was always there when I needed him. He made me feel like someone actually gave a shit about me." 

"I don't give a shit about you?" Blue says as he kicks my foot, so I look at him.

"It was different... there was the emotional side with him but also the intimate side..." I trailed off. "You wouldn't understand, Blue. You have a lovely family who took you on trips and to the park when you were younger, not a string of different nannies watching you. I never had intimacy with anyone; even if it was toxic, it was something, and I miss that." 

Blue nodded. "You're right; I wouldn't understand. You can find that type of connection with someone that isn't harmful to your mental and physical wellbeing tho." 

"Sometimes it's just easier going back to what you already know." 

"I get that, but." Blue stops and looks me in the eyes. "I just can't let what happened to you last time happen again." 

I smile reassuringly and take another sip. 

Blue leans more on his right side and digs something out of his sweatpants pocket. "Here." Blue hands me an envelope. "Read this when I leave. Layla told me she told you about this." He turns his head away from me.

I take the envelope from his hands and nod placing it on the counter in front of me.

"I think you're strong, F" Blue clears his throat. "Stronger than you give yourself credit for. I know you may not see it, but everyone else does." 

"Savannah?" 

Blue nods. 

"She hates me, huh?" 

Blue shakes his head. 

I was mad from what Jackson told me earlier about her betraying me, but she was still my best friend, and I needed her, even if she wasn't as loyal as I wished she was. I just don't understand why her loyalty lies more with Blue than me?

Blue and I talked a little more and drank more wine. It was close to 1 am when he stood up to leave. I grabbed both of our glasses and set them in the sink. I turn around and face Blue. He was stretching a little near the front door. 

"Thanks for coming by," I whisper as I approach him. 

"Felt like I had to; I surely thought I would walk into Baxter sitting on the couch." Blue adjusted his hoodie.

"Yeah." I looked out in my vast apartment, not expecting to see my parents for the rest of the night.

"Get some sleep." Blue pulled me into him and kissed the top of my head.

We stayed like that for a while, soaking up the missed time from the last few weeks. Blue's body was warm and smelled like fresh laundry. I inhaled deeply before we both let go. Blue grabbed the door handle and gave me a slight wave before shutting the door quietly behind him.

I sighed and locked the deadbolt. I fixed my attention to the envelope on the counter. I sat in my original seat and slowly opened it. This must be the paper Layla was telling me Blue wrote about me. I completely forgot about that conversation I had with her. I grabbed my phone real quick before I finished opening the letter.

To: Layla

Hey, I just got the paper you told me Blue wrote about me at NYU. Thanks for mentioning something to him. I wouldn't have the courage to, lol.

I locked my phone and tore open the rest of the envelope. I pulled out the papers inside to see them folded in half. I opened them up and counted six of them. 

The title read;

"She makes me Blue."