Blue ; Timothée Chalamet

5.

"Um, sure," I respond hesitantly. 

"About last night." He trailed off, looking at the others in the distance.

My heart was pounding out of my chest. I had no idea what Jackson was about to say. I could feel my cheeks start to burn up. I continued to look down at my shirt. "I had a feeling."

"I'm sorry I left so abruptly." He sighed and tapped the granite countertop. "I was just thrown off guard at what happened." 

"Yeah, Jackson, I'm really sorry." I finally raise my head to look at him. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." 

"Oh no, no F," You didn't. I can't do that to you when you're drunk." He looked into my eyes with seriousness. 

I scoffed. "You were drunk too, Jackson." 

"I know, but you were also sad and vulnerable, Frankie." His tone was sympathetic.

"Don't tell me how I felt, Jackson." I hissed. I was getting angry now.

"We were talking about your parents, and I assumed I upset you; I'm not trying to piss you off right now, please." His hand reached towards me. 

My mind was going a million places right now; I moved away from his arm. I didn't want him to touch me anymore. How dare he say something about my parents? How dare he say I was sad and vulnerable.  

"Don't touch me, Jackson." I set the wet paper towel down and head towards the bathroom. 

"Frankie, stop." He grabs my hand. "Please listen. I'm sorry." 

My back was turned against him now. I didn't try pulling my arm away from him even tho his grip wasn't tight. I sigh deeply.

"I'm sorry." He murmured. His hand dropped from mine.

I turn back towards him, crossing my arms. I felt so stupid. So so stupid.

"You're beautiful, Frankie, and I do like you. I just can't do that with you." He looked down. 

"Why not?" I spat.

"I just can't." He looked over at the group. "You'll figure out why someday"

My face screamed, puzzled. "Huh?"

He shook his head. "Nevermind."

I didn't want to prey. I could tell he was already annoyed with me. What did he mean by I'll figure out someday? Probably a lie, so he doesn't have to say he isn't into me. I'm so embarrassed at this point that I need to leave.

"I'll see you, Jackson; thanks for the talk." I walk past him and head to grab my things.

I bitterly walk to the living room. I grab my bag sitting next to Blue and mutter, "I'll see you later." I fix my attention to Savannah and mouth, "I'm leaving." She doesn't come after me knowing I don't want attention drawn to me. She knows to call me later.

I breeze past Blue, and out of the corner of my eye, I see him stand and watch me walk away. Jackson stayed in the kitchen with his head down, turned away from me. I open the door and head towards the elevator. 

"F, wait!" Blue calls after me. 

I reach for the close door button hoping he wouldn't get to me on time. Blue jumps in the elevator, and the doors close. Great. I couldn't tell Blue what I did. Jackson is his best friend; that's too weird... then again, so am I. The elevator started moving down, feeling slower than ever.

"What happened?" He tapped my shoulder to look at him.

I groaned. "Nothing Blue."

"Come on, you can tell me." He pulled me in to hug him.

Blue always had such a way of making me feel better. He's always been there for me no matter what. He's seen me at my worst crying about my parents. He watched me destroy half of the apartment to spite them. He's carried me home numerous amount of times from parties wasted. His body was warm, I wrapped my arms around him, and he slowly rubbed my back.

"Tell me." He whispered. 

The elevator came to a stop, and we both got out. I walked outside to get some air and tell Blue. We stood on the stoop, watching people walk by and listen to the constant honking. I sighed once again and looked at Blue. He was already looking at me and smiled—his hair blowing in the gentle breeze. I shivered.

Blue draped his flannel on the back of me. "I'm waiting."

"You're going to laugh at me. I know it." I shake my head.

"I doubt it. You're upset; I won't laugh." 

I take a seat on the steps and put my arms through Blue's flannel. I fold my hands on my lap. Blue sits beside me. I bounce my feet up and down while Blue waits for me to talk.

"I uh-" My voice shaky. "I um- tried kissing Jackson last night, and he um- jumped up and left." 

To my surprise, Blue didn't laugh. He looked straight as if he was waiting for me to finish. His hands in his lap, emotionless. I'm not even sure if he heard me at this point. I sat and waited for him to say something.

"Why would I laugh at that?" He still didn't look at me.

I shrugged. "I don't know, Savannah did."

"She knew?" He turned to look at me now.

"Yeah, I just told her before I started talking to Jackson." I bit some skin off my lip.

He nodded a couple of times and looked to the right of him. "What did you guys talk about?" 

"He apologized and said he couldn't do that for some reason he wouldn't give me." 

Blue nodded again, turning his head straight forward. 

I wasn't sure what to say; I felt awkward. I sensed Blue already knew because he didn't seem too surprised. Then again, why would he?

"I'm going to go now, Blue; this whole night has been awkward." I stand and wipe the back of my pants. I started taking Blue's flannel off, but he stopped me. 

"Keep it; you're cold." He still wouldn't look at me.

I nodded and walked down the rest of the steps.

"Bye, Blue." I stopped and waved.

"Bye, F." His hand resting under his chin, he waved.

I turned and headed home. 

What was his problem?