Love me, London

forty-nine

Tossing my entire wardrobe into my suitcase, in a matter of minutes my closet was picked clean. As I became aware of the emptiness of my surroundings, I did not think there could possibly be the words to describe the way my heart truly felt. Every time my tears were threatening to fall, I forced myself to swallow them back. I tried to smile, even though there was nobody else with me in the room.

I am going to be okay. I am going to fine.

I kept repeating that to myself. As long as I pulled it through tonight, my future would only get better and brighter.

It was Friday afternoon. A few more hours and we all would be heading to the Luciano Mansion for Mrs. Luciano's sixtieth birthday party. The dress code originally was business casual, but knowing the kind of people Mrs. Luciano kept in her circle, everyone there was going to be dressing slightly more formally than that. I decided to go with a simple evening gown I borrowed from Kitty and a few accessories she also lent me.

Talk about Kitty. We had been seeing a lot less of each other for the past two days. Since the day she found out that she was pregnant. Or not. She had been locking herself up in her room. I felt terrible, honestly. But I was planning to leave her a note tonight before I left to the airport.

My heart painfully sank at the idea of me waking up tomorrow in another country but at the same time, I knew it was all for the best. Wondering how my life would look like a week or two from now, the scenario I had playing repeatedly in my head for the past couple hours seemed and sounded too unrealistic. My future was now filled with a lot of expectations, hopes and dreams. Everything except for us.

Tonight, I am running away. To the different country, in the different continent. With the help of my life-time best friend, Giovanna, I could only hope she could keep my secret just a little while longer. At least until my plane took off and in this life, I would never have to see anyone of them again.

It sounded cruel of me. But I guessed this is how it has to be. Liam is, indeed, a very powerful and influential person. His family was not that different. It would only take them a minute or less than an hour to hunt down my location and tracked my every next move. He'd find me for sure if I stayed. And for our life, as in the baby's and mine, to roll out smoothly, I needed to be at a more stable state of mind.

"What're you doing?"

There's a pounding in my head as it tilted sideway, allowing me a better view of the closet's doorway.

"Kitty?" My heart dropped as her small figure moved slowly forward. Steps by steps until she reached me. She stood in front of me as I rose to my feet from the kneeling position next to my suitcase.

Her eyes brimmed with tears upon noticing each and every single one of the empty shelves inside the room.

"Are you leaving?" She asked, swallowing back her tears and biting down her trembling lips.

My heart ached some more.

"Kitty, I-"

"Don't go." Right when she started to cry, I could feel myself crying inside too.

"I have to leave at some point, you know." I said, forcing a sad smile at her, even though the tears were already burning the backs of my eyes.

"But I need you." She began to sob, uncontrollably and reached out to take my arm. I placed my hand on top of hers, caressing it softly, "Please, you're the only friend I have here. Besides, who is going to be there with me when I tell him."

"Oh, Kitty. You can do this." I tried to sound encouraging. As hard as it was to stop myself from blurting out fact right there and then, I had to hold it back for my own sake. I was selfish, but desperate times call for desperate measures.