Jihyo Imagines (gxg)

you are not alone (requested)

Author's Note: this chapter contains possibly triggering content so please don't read it if that makes you uncomfortable!

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You sank down on the bathroom floor and pulled your knees up to your chest as you continued to read through the harsh and hateful words people were publicly speaking about you across social media.

You've tried not to let them get to you and attempted to focus on the love and positivity that's being sent to you by amazing once's; ones that were genuinely happy for you and Jihyo.

But your thick skin is feeling quite thin now as tears blur your vision and your mind runs with the words that you've read again and again.

Things changed so fast. Until just a couple of days ago, the world didn't even know who you are

. It's only because photos of you and Jihyo sharing some kisses on your date night out got leaked and JYP confirmed your relationship for you and Jihyo, which you agreed to beforehand because you felt like it was time.

Jihyo warned you that some people won't be so kind and supportive of your relationship.

You prepared yourself for judgment and hate from some people across the world that claimed to be a fan of your girlfriend and the girls.

But you couldn't have prepared yourself for this. It's so much more than you expected and it's hard to handle.

Your self-esteem has completely faded, your mind is now filled with negative thoughts about yourself.

The words people have sent you over the last day or two are now replaying again and again through your brain, making you feel even more worthless.

You sniffled and wiped your tears away before looking down at your hand.

Before you sat down on the floor, you grabbed something from the cabinet.

You just recently got a new razor because you were in desperate need of a new one.

There was an extra blade in there and with the way your mind was and how terrible you felt about yourself, you were thinking about using it for a completely different reason.

You went to brush it across your skin when, suddenly, the door opened.

You jumped, a surprised gasp falling from your lips, and Jihyo was about to apologize... when she noticed what you had in your hand, near your wrist.

"What are you doing?"

You hung your head, looking at the blade once more.

Jihyo slowly walked to you, her heart sinking deep in her chest as she realized that you must be feeling very low today.

"Can I have that, baby?" She softly asked as she slowly reached out for the blade.

It took a few seconds for you to hand it over to her but once you did, she let out a huge sigh of relief and dropped her forehead onto your shoulder.

"Why would you do even think about doing that to yourself?" She asked through the tears in her eyes.

"Because I don't feel good about myself." You confessed. "And I didn't know what else to do."

She threw the blade into the trash before pulling you into her arms.

"I'm sorry, Jihyo. I just don't like myself right now. The things people are saying about me hurt. I knew it wouldn't be easy and I knew there would be a lot of people who don't support us or like me but I didn't know it would be this hard or this overwhelming."

Jihyo didn't say anything at first. She just held you close and rubbed her fingers along your back soothingly.

She's seen some of the things people are saying and she understands how you feel. It's been a lot worse than she thought it would be, as well.

"Are you disappointed?"

She pulled away as soon as the words left your lips.

"No." She softly spoke as she brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "I get it. A lot of people are being cruel at the moment. It's unfair and undeserved. I understand that it's hard on you."

You sniffled before nodding your head as you  kept your eyes locked with her worried ones.

"I know that people are mean. I know that it's hard to see so many people saying such awful things about you. People say names don't hurt but I know for a fact that they do. People think they can hide behind a screen and say whatever the hell they want. Because they're cowards."

She continued to dry your tears, catching them with her fingers as they fell down your cheeks.

"I'm sorry that things have to be this way. I wish that everyone was kind and supportive. But please realize this, my love - the people who aren't being kind and supportive, the ones saying these things, are not fans of me or the girls. They can say they are all they want. But I see right through them. Because if they love me as much as they say they do, they'll see how happy you make me and how in love I am."

You listened to her speak, letting all of her words sink in.

"You're beautiful." She whispered softly as she put her forehead on yours. "So, so beautiful. You take my breath away every single day. You are beautiful from the inside out. These people are just jealous of you. Jealous that you're the one I'm in love with and not them. They're jealous of how beautiful you are and that you have something they never will. They're just going to have to learn to live with it because I'm not letting you go."

You smiled a little, her sweet words making you feel better about yourself.

"I know what I want. I'm an adult, I make my own choices. I know that you're the one. You're the one I'll be spending the rest of my life with. If they don't like it, they can find another group to support. Because I'd rather lose these fake fans than lose you."

"I love you so much."

"I love you more." She smiled and kissed the corners of your lips. "I know it's hard but don't let these people get to you. They're just jealous and miserable. They'll get over it. There are a lot of people supporting us and wanting the best for us. Later, I'll show you some of the positive and supportive messages that I've seen from fans; real, genuine fans."

"I'd like that."

She smiled again, the sight making your heart skip a beat.

"Please don't hurt yourself. Not ever. No matter how bad things get, no matter how low and how down you feel, you are not alone. You've got eight amazing friends who love and support you and a girlfriend that loves you very much and needs you. I will always be here for you. Even at your worst, even during the darkest moments that you face in life, I've got you. Every step of the way, through the good, the bad, and everything in between, I'll always be here and I'll always love you."

You threw your arms around her and held her tight as you buried your face in her neck, feeling like crying again but for a completely different reason now.

Because you felt so loved and so happy and oh so thankful for Jihyo.

You know that you'll get through this and that everything will be okay in the end, because you've got Jihyo by your side through it all.