Jihyo Imagines (gxg)

you're losing me (requested)

The silence between you and Jihyo was eating away at you as you sat across the room from each other.

You can't decide what's worse - that, or the sound of you both yelling at each other or, sometimes, over each other to make your thoughts and points known.

This is how things have been for you both over the last few weeks, endless fighting when you see each other.

You've lived in denial for so long, telling yourself that things weren't bad... but they were.

But things have fallen apart between you and Jihyo.

You're so far from how things were at the start of your relationship and it's too much to handle, making you question what the right thing to do was now.

"Why are we like this?" You asked quietly. "When did things get this bad between us?"

"I don't know what you mean. Things are fine."

There was it again; the same lie you've told yourself again and again.

"No, they aren't. You know it, Jihyo. You know it just as much as I do."

"I don't understand." She said as she finally looked at you again.

"Yeah. Of course, you don't. Because you keep pretending as if everything is okay and it isn't!" You said as more tears filled your eyes. "I keep hoping that a cure will come through, that something will make us okay again. But it just isn't going to."

Things went silent again as you looked around the living room.

There were so many windows that had brought so much light to this room for so long, even when things were dark.

It kept you hopeful.

But you can't remember the last time you enjoyed sitting in here and enjoyed the light that comes through the windows.

It's just easier to sit in the darkness as your mind wanders and the sadness in your broken heart deepens.

Jihyo suddenly got up and began to walk out of the room, making you furrow your eyebrows.

"Where are you going?"

She turned around to face you before rolling her eyes at you.

"I have plans with the girls tonight."

"After that fight we just had? Instead of trying to resolve things, you just want to keep your plans with them and leave?" You asked in disbelief as she folded her arms over her chest.

"What do you want from me, Y/N?"

"I want you to try!" You yelled. "Why are you giving up on us so easily? Can't you see how much I love you? That all I want is for us to be okay?"

"You just told me we're not and that you've been waiting for something to make things okay but nothing does! It sounds like you've already given up."

"Don't do that to me." You said as you blinked away your tears. "I know what I said but I love you. I want things to be okay between us. I want to be with you forever and marry you someday."

"Have we not had this discussion several times now?" She asked as she clenched her jaw. "I told you, Y/N. I don't want to marry you."

You lowered your head as your heart shattered even more.

"I don't know what I want anymore but I do know that." She said.

It seems that every argument you two have had lately is about that.

You're so in love with her and you want to be with her forever.

She told you that she wanted the same... up until about five months ago, when she started changing her tune about marriage and other things that involve lifelong commitment.

That, along with her working more than she ever has before and rarely ever being around, has made you feel as though your heart won't start anymore.

"I wouldn't marry you." She spoke harshly, her words cutting you down and making your entire body ache. "I'm going out with the girls. I'll see you later."

"Don't expect me to be here when you get back." You said as you put your foot down, making her turn back around to face you again.

"What?"

"You heard me loud and clear, Jihyo. I've been going back and forth on this for so long now. You don't love me anymore and I can tell. I've debated on throwing out everything we have or staying here because I love you and walking away from you is very hard on me. But I'm tired. You changed your mind about what you wanted. You wouldn't marry me? Well, guess what? I wouldn't marry me either. But, maybe, there's someone out there that will make me feel differently down the road."

You hung your head, wondering if she could see how grey your face was as she stared at you wordlessly.

"I can't do this anymore. I won't. You walk out that door tonight, you're losing me."

She stood still for a moment before grabbing her things and walking out the door.

You tried to fight the tears but they fell down your cheeks anyway as you gave up on being the bravest soldier you could ever be for her.

All you ever wanted was her.

Even when things were hard, you pushed through.

You pretended that things were okay to the world when things were so far from okay.

Such as when you both began to argue over every little thing and she began to rarely ever come home.

But you know it now - things are too far gone and there is no bringing what you had back to life.

And, as hard as it was, you went down the hall and began to pack your things.

Because she'd done it.

She dealt the final blow tonight.

And now, she'd lost you.