Heaven Help Us

Forgiven

“What’s wrong, kiddo?” I asked him.

He looked up at me, his face red and tears running down his cheeks.

“I-I had a bad dream…” He said in a small voice, rubbing his eyes with his fists.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head. “No, but can you tell me more of the story?”

I nodded and sat next to his bed.

“After Ray woke up, some more time passed. About three years, actually. Andrew’s band mate and his fiancé got married. The girl’s band got signed to a record label; Andrew’s record label, in fact. Ray got a boyfriend. Andrew proposed to the girl. Unfortunately, some odd and disappointing decisions and events happened afterwards. Disappointing that Andrew did some pretty stupid things, anyway. Not…not anything the girl did. She was actually quite right to-”

“Daddy! What happened?” He asked. His face was not red anymore, but kind of a pinkish color with tear stains on it.

“Oh, right. Well, the girl had been feeling…ill. Andrew was on tour, so she was mostly just around David and their friends. She found out she was pregnant.”

His eyes went wide. “Really? With a boy or a girl baby?”

“We’re not there yet. Andrew called her the night she found out, but she was nervous to tell him. So, she tested him, in a way. She asked if he wanted kids someday, asked what he would do if she were pregnant with his baby right then…He screwed the entire thing up with five short words: Kids aren’t for rock stars. Basically, no, he didn’t really want children at the time. Andrew regrets that decision now, of course. He wishes he had had the guts to stick around and see what he had helped create.”

I looked at him, studying his features. He stared back, and I felt like some understanding had passed between us then. A kind of easy forgiveness, although I considered the decision I had made unforgivable.

“I think we should leave it there for tonight, buddy.” I said after a few moments.

He nodded his approval and then leaned up to give me a hug. “I love you, Daddy.”

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I'm sorry about the length and quality of this chapter. The next one should be better. :)