Heaven Help Us

I Just Can't Believe

I knelt down next to Andy. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry about him, he's just..." I struggled for the right words.

"Really fucking pissed," Andy supplied.

"...Yeah, that."

"It's cool. I'd be pissed off too. I am pissed off at myself."

"What the fuck happened?" Dante asked, walking into the room.

"Well, uh," I said intelligently.

Asher stepped into the rescue. "Raven punched Andy."

"Yeah, it's fine. It only hurt a bit. I'll be just fine. So can I call a cab or can one of you drive me home?" He asked after a moment.

Dante and Asher helped him up as I pondered the options. "If you want you can stay here tonight. I mean, you'll be back over tomorrow anyway," I said finally.

"I could?" He looked a little nervous but hopeful as well.

"Yeah, we've got a guest room and Dante sleeps with me occasionally, and Ash and Raven have their room, there's the couch up here and the one in the basement...wherever you wanna sleep."

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna go take a shower and get ready for bed." Dante said.

"That reminds me, I have to give Jeph a bath in the morning. Fuck, okay, yeah. Showers, everyone, and then sleep."

"So I'm staying here?"

"If you want." Dante said as he left the room.

"If you want to shower, Dante'll be using the one next to his room, and I'll be using the one by the studio, but there's one in the basement. And I've got some of your old pajamas I think. They probably still fit, but it looks like they might be a little loose considering how fucking skinny you are."

He cracked a smile. "Okay, that sounds great."

As I was walking out of the room I heard, "Hey, Rain?"

"Yeah, Andy?"

"Thank you. I had an awesome time tonight," He paused. "Minus the Raven incident."

I smiled. It was good to have him back in our lives..

"No problem." And all of us were off to shower.

I had just finished checking on Jeph when I went back to my room and saw Andy standing there with just a towel around his waist, his hair dripping some. I couldn't help but stare a little.

"Um," Today was just not my day for intelligence.

"Pajamas?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking a little.

"Oh yeah." I muttered, and went to rummage through my closet for them.

"Oh cool! I wondered where those had gone!" He exclaimed as I brought out a pair of fleece plaid pajama pants that had been left at the old apartment around the time of the breakup. I handed them to him and turned around as he dropped the towel and slipped the pants on.

"Yeah...Dante might have a tshirt you can borrow for the night if you wanna ask him."

He nodded and left the room. I watched him leave for a moment and then made my bed. As I was doing so, I heard the front door open and close with a soft click, and then Asher talking to Raven.

"Where have you been? Are you alright?" I could hear Ash ask.

"I'm fine, I went for a walk to clear my mind is all....It's just...we've been keeping Jeph from him for so long and now he's just suddenly..here. In our lives again. It's...I mean, I'm fine with it now, because Jeph needs his dad. Even if Andy's five years late, it's not completely his fault. Is he here? I should apologize to him." Raven said quietly.

"Yeah, he's here. But you should apologize in the morning; I think he's asleep in the guest room."

"Oh. Okay. Can we go to bed?"

"Yeah," Ash said after a moment. "Yeah, that might be a good idea."

I smiled to myself and left my room to go check on Jepha.

When I got in there, I noticed that all of his Batman bedding was already back on the bed and he was fast asleep, curled up under the blankets and holding onto Batman.

And then I spotted something else.

Andy was sitting cross legged next to Jeph's bed, staring at him deep in thought.

I slowly walked over and sat next to him.

"Hey," I whispered.

He shook his head for a second and then looked at me. From the little light coming in from the hallway, I could see his eyes were shiny, like he'd been blinking away tears.

"What's going on in there, Andy?" I asked, tapping my finger gently against his head.

"I can't believe that this is my son," He whispered, his voice sounded hoarse and a little gravelly from emotion. "He's perfect.."

"Yeah," I agreed.

"It's hard to grasp the fact that I helped create him...another human. I..at the time, I didn't want kids. It didn't seem like something that would fit into my life for a very long time, but now. Now I see my kid and what I missed out on. I should have stuck around. I'm sorry that I didn't. You have no idea how much I regret what happened.."

We sat there in silence for a while, watching the rise and fall of our son's breathing until I lightly bumped his shoulder with mine.

"You should get some sleep. He's gonna keep you so busy tomorrow."

I could see the smile form on his face and hear the sincerety in his voice, "I'm looking forward to it."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey. Hopefully this is a good chapter. Thank you all for the messages and comments and support. It means the world to me to know that you guys care. Someone very special came into my life recently and they've been helping me feel better. But the support you guys showed proves that all of you are the best readers and fans ever. Every band that you're a fan of should really appreciate having fans like you. You're all wonderful and I'll be updating again soon, hopefully. Much love to you all. <3