Heaven Help Us

Numbers

Andy's POV

I looked at my phone again, scrolling through my contacts. Rain's number was still in there, complete with a heart next to it. I had never bothered to change it. I couldn't change it. I did still love her. So goddamn much.  

I wanted to go talk to her; to tell her I was sorry; fuck, so sorry. I wanted to tell her I haven't slept peacefully in five years. That I needed her.  

A knock on the bedroom door startled me out of my thoughts. "Andy?" I heard Ashley call. 

"Come in." I called back. 

"What's going on in there?" He asked almost instantly, pointing a finger to my head, after he'd sat down next to me. 

"Nothing..." I lied. 

"Come on, dude. I know something's up. We're touring with Death to You. That's not...normally you would have said no. But Jon told us that you were surprisingly quick to say yes. So what's going on?" 

"I want to talk to her, Ash." I said quietly. 

He looked surprised. "You haven't said anything to her in five years, Andy." 

"Well, she hasn't said anything to me, either, Ashley." 

"Dude...you still don't get it, do you? You still haven't figured it out? Man, talk to her when you return to reality. Because if you talk to her, and you still haven't figured anything out, I don't think she's going to tell you. And, honestly, we aren't either. It's not our place, nor is it our job. Reality, Biersack; you've been living in a fantasy land of 'it's her fault, I did nothing wrong, but if I say I'm sorry then she'll take me back and we can live happily every after'. You need to get back into the real world, figure your shit out, and then talk to her." And he left.  

I dropped back onto the pillows, sighing unhappily. 

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Okay, so, if the format or anything is off, it's because I've royally fucked my computer up. Every damn website keeps telling me I need another version of IE, and what sucks worse is that the whole thing is Youtube's fault. :( So, I've probably got to A) Start all over again with my computer. Erase everything and get it back to normal. Or B) Convince my father that it was a total accident and that he needs to fix it for me without going through my files. Because he likes to do that. So I like to password lock my computer.