A Bittersweet Love Story of Us

Forty-one

Jayden Paterson

I turned around to face the person who opened the door. I watch as she closed the door behind her. Her eyes are filled with guilt as soon as her eyes landed to me. "Now, will you tell me everything?" I sarcastically said as I crosses my hands on my chest.

She heaved a sigh and walks closer to me until she's just a meters away from me. "I guess you've heard enough," she simply replied like it's a normal thing for a person to fake something like having memory loss.

Once I'm done talking to my visitor at the conference room, I immediately left. I want to spend more time to Alexa and remind her everything. I was thinking about the chance I have. But everything collapsed when I heard her saying things that I wasn't expecting at all. All this time, Alexa is just playing with me. She's just making me stupid.

"You think it's a joke?" I asked again that made her shake her head.

"Then why did you do it?"

"Because I want to and I don't know how to face you," she said. I can sense pure seriousness in her voice. How could she stay cool after I discovered something about her game.

"Because you want to? You could have just talked to me and tell me not to show my face in front of you."

"I know the fact that you wouldn't do that," she instantly replied.

"Yeah, yeah. Alexa, didn't you see the sincerity in me the time I showed up to you?"

"No. I didn't."

I clenched my fist and looked up. I want to shout at her and tell her that everything she did is not right. I want to tell her how wrong she is. Seriously, the only thing I want from her is a chance that she can give me to make things right. "Alexa, the only thing I want is a chance. A chance for me to show you how sincere and serious I am with you," I said as I meet her eyes.

Alexa looked away. "A chance? You already had a chance to make things right but in the end, you failed. You chose to believe lies than to believe in me. You see, chances are not an assurance that everything will be okay, it's your attitude towards that chance that will make everything alright," she replied as she looked back at me.

I meet her eyes. Maybe she's right. I made a mistake for ignoring her and when she's about to give up, I suddenly showed affection. Indeed, she gave me a chance but I once again wasted it. But, that doesn't mean that she can just play with what I feel for her. I just want her to see my sincerity. I want to show her how I regretted everything I've done to her.

"You fooled me and made me the most stupid man. You laughed at me while I did things in front of you! How could you be so cruel Alexa," I said making her laugh. Now, that's definitely her victory laugh.

"Now you know the feeling of being fooled and laughed because of doing stupid things Jayden," she replied.

"That's it! You're doing this because you really want to take revenge," I sarcastically said making her look away from me. Now, I'm quite mad at her.

"That's not what I want," she simply replied making me laugh.

"Then, how can you call that act?"

She didn't reply. She just stayed silent and looked at the floor like it's the most interesting thing in the universe. "Now that you succeeded, are you happy? Are you happy with the fact that you made me stupid?" I said.

She looked at me. An emotion that I cannot tell passes through her eyes. "I did that because I want to see what you can do," she suddenly replied making me shake my head.

"Nah, that's not a valid reason Alexa. Don't give me that kind of reason."

"I- I'm sorry if I fooled you," she said.

I wanted to let my defenses down as soon as I heard her say sorry. I can sense sincerity in her voice but something is telling me that what she did is below the belt.

"You know what, this - I mean, everything is stupid. I fooled you, you fooled me. It's a win to win situation. Maybe it's time to end everything," I said.

"What do you mean?" she asked as she stared at me with curiosity.

"Let's end everything. This - all of this is not right."

"Jayden."

"Alexa, I tried to make things right but you just took advantage of that."

"You're telling me that you're giving up?" she asked to which I nodded.

"I don't want to but it seems like the world is against us. Every time we try to make things fine we end up discovering new things that leads us to hate each other," I replied. That's what I realized just now.

If we are really meant for each other, things like this would never happen. It's like, we are fighting our destiny. "So you're really giving up on us? As I expected," she said. I can say that she's dismayed by what I just said.

"Let's give ourselves time. Time to think about everything."

Alexa stared at me. Fresh tears started to roll down her cheeks. I wanted to pull her and hug her tight but I stopped myself from doing it. We just stared at each other until she broke the silence. "Maybe you're right. Let's end everything and just focus on important things. Let's forget everything," she said making me nod.

Even if I don't like the way she said it, I still forced myself to nod. If I don't, I might say nonsense things that will lead us to another kind of roller coaster that will soon cause us pain. And that's what I'm trying to avoid. Everything that had happened is just too much for the both of us.

When I didn't say anything, she just turned on her heels and walks away from me. I suddenly felt a burst of pain inside me. Watching her walking away from me pained me. I wanted to stop her but something inside me is telling me that letting her go for now is the best decision that I could ever do for her.

I heaved a deep sigh once she's finally out of sight. I walked towards my swivel chair and sits on it. I just realize how painful it is to see the person you love go. I now realize what my mom told me. If you really love someone, you let them go even if it's painful. Wait for them to come back to you for it means that they're really for you. When they don't, then they're never yours. They just passed by to make you realize and learn new things.

---M.F.P---