His Sweet Addiction (BTS ff JJK)

Chapter 46

JK: Can we talk?

Sunshine: Okay.

JK: If you are still mad at me, I'll come in the front door so you can yell at me.

Sunshine: No, you can come through the window.

With a feeling of relief, Jungkook expertly climbed the tree then crawled through the window. Maddy's room was dark. He could just make out her form laying in bed from the light of the moon coming in through the window behind him. Her eyes were shining as she quietly watched him take off his shoes and leather coat. He was wearing pajamas, freshly showered and ready to sleep once he repaired the most important relationship in his life.

Jungkook glanced at her door to be sure it was closed and locked, then pulled back her covers and climbed in. He moved over top of her so he was looking down on her face. Which, after having pulled the shade down, he could barely see in the dark. He saw something glistening on her cheek and when he went to brush it away he found moisture. She had been crying and Jungkook felt a stab of pain in his chest for causing her to cry.

He wanted to say something to make her feel better but before he got the words out, he found himself overcome by fear and sadness for a second time that night. He thought he had gotten the crying out of his system in the car. But being face to face with her now brought back into his mind all the images of her aggressively walking toward the American holding a knife. In a book or a movie it might not seem like a big deal. But when you have an experience in real life where someone pulls a knife on a loved one, it can be extremely traumatizing. 

Jungkook took several gulping breaths so that he could calm down but it didn't work and he lowered his head to Maddy's shoulder as sobs overtook him. Maddy was startled by Jungkook's breakdown. He had been so mad earlier and now he seemed crushed. She had seen him a little tearful here and there but she had no idea he was capable of crying this hard. Her arms came up around him in a hug. She stroked his upper back and neck as he sobbed into her shoulder. She kissed his temple and forehead like he usually did to her. "Shhhhh. It's okay. Kookie, tell me what's wrong."

When he didn't respond she ran her fingers through his hair, trying to pull it back off his face. "Jungkook, please talk to me. You are worrying me. What is the matter? It can't be this bad." But he cried for long minutes into her shoulder, feeling her hands comforting him. When he did look up she brushed back the last hairs off his face and wiped away his tears and stroked his cheeks.

Jungkook was finally able to reign in some of his emotions, enough of them to at least be able to talk. His speech was halting as he talked, he took lots of pauses between sentences. "Maddy. I was so scared tonight when I thought that guy would stab you. I don't think you understand that if you had died tonight, I don't think I could go on. You have become so important to me and the thought of life without you is like thinking about no life at all."

"I'm okay, nothing happened. I'm sorry you got scared." Maddy tried to console him, but all Jungkook could think was that she didn't understand yet what he was saying.

"Seeing you walk towards that guy, yelling at him when he had a knife, made me angry. It looked like you didn't care whether you lived or died. It was like the time you risked your life on the ladder. I was so mad at you for being reckless with your life, not protecting yourself. It is like it doesn't matter to you that my life would be shattered, or that your parents lives would be over if you were no longer here." 

Maddy's fingers were still touching his cheeks. She took a sharp breath in at his words. He didn't think she cared that he and her parents would be crushed if she died? That wasn't true at all. "Oh no. I'm sorry, Kookie. I never thought it would seem like that."