Your Highness

HUNDRED AND THIRTYONE

Letting out a long exhale he placed the cup to his lips, and as he drank a voice suddenly rang inside his head.

"Han,"

Han closed his eyes whilst letting out a sad laugh wondering why the person appearing before his eyes wasn't the person he was waiting for.

"My son," The woman said melancholically as she walked to his side and sat on the seat next to him.

Han trailed his eyes in the direction of the empress dowager who was sitting next to him. He knew it was just his imagination. That the person wasn't real. Just another hallucination. Yet, Han still felt the uncomfortableness of confronting her, as if she was the real empress dowager.

Out of all people, she was the person he least wanted to see tonight.

Why is it you? Han asked himself.

The empress dowager's smile faded a little as if she was hurt.

"I'm the one that cares for you the most," she said, as if answering his question.

Han's grip around the wine bottle tightened as he poured the remaining liquid down his throat.

Han didn't spare a second glance for the dowager as if he hoped she would disappear if he kept ignoring her existence.

"Come back to me Han," the voice begged.

"I need you,"

Her voice was like and a ringing bell inside an empty tunnel, echoing endlessly inside his head.

"My son," She spoke in such a sweet tempting voice, but the more gentler she became the more uncomfortable did Han feel.

How ironic. He wanted the wine to help him escape reality, but in the end, it just dumped him into another abyss. Han felt helpless for not being able to escape the empress dowager's motherly love even in this state. But who was he to blame, when he was the cause of his own misery.

"Please leave," Han begged, as if he was hoping she would listen and vanish from his sight

"You need me." The empress dowager said painfully tender. She looked at him with terrible fondness, like a mother who see her child making a great mistake without being able to stop him from doing so.

The empress reached out for Han's hand, but he pulled it away while not being able to meet her eyes. His eyes wondered to the floor, lingering on the single shadow of his own.

"One day, you will return to me," The empress dowager's voice again ranged in his ears. She sounded sad but at the same time confident.

"Like you always do..."

"Get out of my head!"Han hurled the cup to the floor in the fist of anger and frustration that bottled inside him. The words made the tides of rage rise and Han felt as if he was helplessly drowning in that anger that had engulfed his whole being.

Upon hearing the loud crash of the splintering cup the servants immediately  entered to see if something was wrong. Yet, upon entering they was surprised by Han's sudden shout. Han was definitely not speaking to the servants. His eyes was focused on something they couldn't put a finger on, but he was definitely speaking to someone, or something. But aside from the servants, there was no one else here.

"Young master, is something wrong?"

Only when the servants spoke did Han realize that they had entered his room.

"Who gave you permission to enter the room?"

"We beg for forgiveness young master, we heard some noise so-"

"Get out."

"Ye-yes.. Young master," the servant lowered their heads and exited the room without further notice.

When the door was closed another sound of crashing porcelain was heard. It was much louder this time and it didn't sound like it was just a small cup that was being broken. The sound was of something big object being crushed to hundreds pieces. Yet, the servants didn't enter. 

Inside the room, Small pieces of porcelain in different shapes were scattered on the floor next to Han. It was a messy sight.

Han let out a long exhale as he leaned his head on the side of the bed. What was he even doing on his mother's death anniversary?

Han ran a hand through his hair as he closed his eyes tightly. After some time the candle went out leaving him in a room surrounded by darkness. Just as Han thought that this was the last memory of today, a suddenly source of light appeared.

Han opened his eyes to the view of Hayoon appearing in front of him with a candlelight holder in her hand. The candlelight wasn't that bright, only enough for them to draw each other's face.

Hayoon crouched down in front of him, so their eyes was on the same level.

She placed the candlelight holder on the floor, so they were able to se each other's face. Hayoon didn't say anything, just crouching there with her arms wrapped around her knees while staring into his eyes.

Han was glad that he this time, was able to see Hayoon and not the empress dowager.

He knew she was just another imagination created inside his head but even so he wanted to be comforted.

"Why are you sitting here?" she asked whilst looking into his eyes with a concerned expression.

"Where else could I be?" a chuckle cracked from his lips.

She looked around the room, at white broken porcelain that was decorating the floor and then back at the person who had caused this scene.

"It isn't bad to see you like this," he said.

It was the first he was able to see her in this room. For long he could only picture it in his head. Ever since they had stepped a foot into this mansion, this was the first time Hayoon had been here.

Had he been a little more observant, Han would have noticed that she had a shadow and that the person in front of him wasn't a ghost from his mind.