Our Aquarium

46 ~ Eliana

I swallow another scoop of strawberry ice cream from the frozen pint between my blanket covered thighs. Everything hurts and ice cream is currently the only thing that's helping.

Just a few hours ago I was an extreme mess. I still am, just not as bad. My brain won't stop playing Wesley's words in an attempt to torture my already aching heart. He's become my home and in seconds it was ripped away.

The pain in his voice from hearing about the job offer killed me. Why couldn't he just let us talk? I had already made the decision to stay for him but now I guess there's nothing holding me back.

Picking up my phone I place a call to the number that called me hours ago. The number that messed up my holiday. We talked for a few minutes before I finally accepted the job offer. She was excited and I tried my best to be happy as well. I just wanted to talk to Wesley right now and I know I wouldn't feel better until I did. The contradicting part is that I couldn't bare to see him.

For the rest of the week I didn't go into work after giving my notice. I wasn't forced to see Wesley everyday knowing that I can't kiss him or hug him or laugh with him. So I hid out in my apartment eating snacks and watching scary movies. My friends texted me, but I didn't tell them about Wesley. There was no need to bring them into my Wesley drama again. I was a big girl I could handle it.

At least I thought I could until a knock came to the door and a familiar bark greeted me. "Eliana please answer the door." Immediately I rushed off the couch to open the door and find the only man I've ever loved standing with a solemn expression on his face, but I didn't care because so much overwhelmed me and I threw myself into his arms letting my tears fall against his chest, stupid sobs racking my body and hurting my chest. His arms wrapped around me and he held me like he needed me as much as I needed him. "I'm so sorry," he whispers against my ear.

"I should've told you sooner," I sigh, tilting my head up and looking at him. 

His hands move to the side of my face and turns my head so I'm looking at him, trapped in his gaze. "You deserve this job and all the good things in the world. If you want I'm willing to try long distance and we can choose dates to visit each other once a month or more."

I don't want that. "Wes—"

"I love you, Eliana." Everything slows down. I barely notice the words that follow of him telling me to call him when I land.

Then he walks out. He walks out! I don't even get the chance to process his words or tell him that I love him too. Why does he do things like this? What is wrong with him?

Walking into my room I sit on my bed and look at all my packed bags. It's New Year's Eve and I have a flight that leaves in a few hours and a car that will pick me up in 30 minutes. The institute said the sooner the better and will also be providing me with a place to stay until I can find permanent residence.

My leg shakes as I look around the room, my heart racing as I think about everything I'm leaving. "I love you, Eliana." Wesley why do you have to...

Uuuggghhh!!!

I pace back and forth in an attempt to calm my racing heart. I need to go, I need to take this once in a lifetime chance. We can make long distance work. I slide to the floor. "I don't know what to do," I sigh looking up to the ceiling in hopes that my parents will somehow guide me. "Mom? Dad? What do I do?" Tears roll down my cheeks as I wrap my arms around myself.

My phone vibrates with a call from the driver I ordered. With a deep breath, I stand to my feet and grab my suitcases, then take the elevator down to the bottom. My driver climbs out to help me with my bags and then we are off to the airport.