The Lady In The lake || The Warrior Series #1

Chapter 34 ☪ Nightmares And Oblivious

   I froze the moment I woke up. All lingering interactions with my former men flashes through my head like the speed of light, this ends up in a situation we're I wanna scream, yell and shout. 

    

    Death is permanent and new life will rise. Of course as the barbaric commander of my past army, I was neither reckless, heartless or just emotionless. Everytime someone from the people I lead dies, I cannot shed tears and ask forgiveness for their passing, only breaths of sadness and a silent response was kept on me. 

    

    As armies ready to die, I didn't think much about dead men walking down the earth screaming under their lungs and tormenting me as each passing day until I could no longer hear them. I never cared for men who will soon die, my only obligation is to part them to the afterlife with the words as a form of mock burial. 

    

    They died protecting the empire, and also those people who can't protect themselves. It is an honorable death for men ready to kill or to be killed but not everyone has a full-fledged heart of a warrior dying in the battlefield alongside decency and honor. 

    

    When I was their commander, I would shatter their hopes of being alive because the battlefield is a place where men are ready to die. If they cannot seek themselves to have the resolve as such, they shouldn't be joining the army of my own lead. Because no one survives after the purge, only me and those with resolve survive the battles which take hundreds of lives. 

    

    I hate it... Whenever I think about this, my head is filled with an enormous amount of pain... I was heartless, not able to see them as they passed the boundaries, they are merely chess pieces in the game of war that the empire, our lord, leads. 

    

    I was one of those pieces and they are my pawns to lead them and for them to die as a soldier befitting of being called warriors. 

    

    An excuse for murders and slaughter. 

    

    Now, they go back with their resolve of hunting me down to the grave of what I call living just to tell me that I shouldn't be happy. I was to careless and easy as I have not think of myself properly— no matter how stupid Seria is, how can I be so stupid like her? 

    

    The [ Artificial Magic ] was created through various sacrifices that magicians have to endure. However, there is a consequence in using this in a body that is yet to mature and incomplete. Had it not been for the gods who gave me mercy, I cannot attain this back but I should have been ready to accept the full punishment of using this in my current state. 

    

    I feel so stupid to not remember that single detail before I recklessless shove her body to its limit. I never thought that the punishment would not withstand her body as well, since her body is fragile and weak, so pain cannot be endured. 

    

    I do too... Did not expect that... I feel like my head is burning after that time, screaming like crazy and breaking my voice until I finally lose consciousness. 

    

--+-•-+--

    

    The news of my awakening has traveled through the entire household. Even my father who's priority was to attend political meetings with all the nobles of the land had suddenly shown himself in front of my door as if he ran here with his two feet looking only by how he was running through his breath.