Widow Sisters and Friends (Restoring Our Broken Hearts): Book 2

The Ghosts of My Love

Summary: It's the anniversary of what was undoubtedly the worst day of Carol's entire life, and she quite honestly feels like she is being torn apart from the inside out. Luckily, comfort comes in the form of one Natasha Romanoff.

   It was the anniversary. And it was eating Carol alive from the inside out.

Carol grasped her head in her hands, barely holding herself together as she knelt there on her knees on the gym floor. She had destroyed the punching bag that she had been wearing out, and she had nothing left to focus her attentions on to distract her from the pain. It was four in the morning, and not a soul was around, which she found herself overwhelmingly thankful for. No one around to see her in this state.

But then again, it also meant no one around to offer her any comfort.

Of course, the person that she needed most was gone, and there was no one else really around that could bring her the comfort she needed right now. Steve was on a mission, and since they were early-on in their relationship, she did not want to burden him with such things just yet.

It was the anniversary of Maria's death, and Carol could hardly handle it. Every anniversary of her friend's death that came to pass simply brought endless pain upon Carol. It had been several years now, but she still could not even make a move to get over it completely.

Her grief, while well-hidden and put away most of the time, came back in full swing on the anniversary. She never truly mourned Maria the way that she needed to when Maria passed, and she had thrown herself into her work instead. So every time that the anniversary came, it felt like all of that unexpressed grief came washing back upon her.

And right now, it hurt pretty bad. It was raw and painful and tearing her in half as she let loose a sob that wracked her entire frame.

"Carol?" a voice spoke up, and Carol swiftly froze up, looking behind her as she spotted Natasha standing there, looking at her with terrible concern. Carol looked away from her quickly, wiping her eyes as she sniffed a bit and tried to pull herself together. She had not let herself indulge very much in the crying, so it was a quick cleanup despite the fact that her eyes were red and she doubtlessly looked nothing short of miserable.

"Hey, Nat... What're you doing up?" Carol asked, trying to sound as if she were somewhere in the realm of okay right now.

"Couldn't sleep. What're you doing up?" Natasha immediately cut to the chase. Carol swallowed as she forced a slight grin, repositioning to sit down a little more comfortably on the floor.

"It's nothing. Just... Rough times," Carol admitted, turning to look back at Natasha. To her surprise, Natasha approached her, coming over to sit down next to her as she eyed her carefully.

"Anything you feel like talking about?" Natasha offered as she took her place next to Carol on the floor, eyeing her gently as she remained steadily next to her.

"Nothing that needs to be talked about," Carol tried to come off breezy and casual, but she failed miserably as she felt her bottom lip tremble just a bit.

Even though she had lived far longer than Natasha, she still had the emotions and mindset of that girl in her mid-twenties eagerly jumping into the Air Force with reckless abandon and fierce hope in her heart. And Natasha had some wisdom about her that reminded Carol of Maria so painfully much that it literally made her ache sometimes. Right now, it was especially killing her.

"Maybe you don't want or need to talk about it... But is it something that a hug could help?" Natasha offered gently, and Carol stopped as she looked at Natasha, meeting those calm green eyes that were so opposite of those wise dark eyes that she could see in perfect clarity in her mind.