Love kills!

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I looked down at my hands on my lap, covered with blood, his blood!!!

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I looked down at my hands on my lap, covered with blood, his blood!!!

I almost killed him!!!
Tears flowing down my eyes, unstoppable, as I was shivering with agony!!!! He is being treated inside, six stitches that's what the doctor said!

I don't know why the fuck, I did that, why all my anger took over me that time, that I almost-

I never wanted him or anyone to be death I still lo-

Care for him!!!!

My life is a mess, I don't know what I want for myself, my heart feels for him, but my mind can t forget the fact that he killed my bestie- married me with force.

I wish it is just a dream, but it's not, the pain in my heart, my head, saying that all this is true, part of my life!!!

Which I wanted perfect!!!

I never wanted any pain!!!

Any agony!!!

I never wanted to fall in love!!!

That's the main reason- I left him!!!!

I started to fall for him!!! I knew the future of every love story, betrayal, pain, tears!!!!

I didn't wanted that-

I can't trust him- which I was by the passing time.

I was falling for him, way too much that his absence scares me, I just wanted to get rid of these feelings which I couldn't handle as a teenager!!!

So I left him, when papa asked to marry Kunal, in 3rd year I said yes, coz I wanted to get rid of these feelings-

My brother- he died because of this love!!!!

I hate love!!!

More than anything!!!

Am scared to fall in love

^_________^

I was in 8th class

I still remember that day...my  eyes were fixed on the TV, as i was watching Crime shows on weekend with my younger brother when, Rohan Bhai walked in 'bhai aap aa gaye( brother you are home)' that's what I asked, but he ignored me, and directly rushed upstairs, to his room and banged the door behind him, so loud that it startled me, i sat back on the couch thinking he must be tired and continued with watching TV.

Late night papa came, about at eight thirty, i rushed towards him and hugged him happily, he chuckled and hugged me back, caressing my hairs " i bought you chocolates gudiya (doll)"he smiled at me handing me over the chocolates and i grinned.

Family is perfect-

Until you become an adult!!!!

Mumma asked me to go and call bhai for dinner,so i rushed upstairs and knocked his room door, NO ANSWERS

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